Happy Histon Friendly

 Jaguars (Parrish 45*, Ant 26*, Cam!!!!! 17, Adrian 3-2, Jos 25-2) 145-7 beat Histon Invitational XI (Murray Christie 25*, Ant 7-2, Will 20-2) 120-8 by 25 runs

I'm sorry gents, but writing this match report, the scorebook such as I have it seems to have been largely written in pencil by a child with limited digit control.

This is a new fixture for us, and so so nice it was. The recent history of the Jags has been largely intertwined with the history of Histon. Many of our players are also Histon regulars, we've played on their pitch, and it is such a middle class slice of English happiness that I bought a house here. The weather was wondrous, kids playing at the rec, gentle setting evening sun, actual spectators, all one needed was a picnic and some Pimms.

We were delighted to welcome Rosie Parrish and her parents to the assembled throng. Rosie is the real brains and talent behind Bots Up - https://botsupgame.com/ - a joint venture between Matt and Rosie. Matt did some of the grunt work, Rosie did the hard work, putting a lovely little card game out there for all the family. I digress.

Jags won the toss and chose to bat. Parrish and and Jones got us off to a cracking start, facing occasional, talented, Jag Tyler and a chap who has gone into the book as Gatsby... what, Gatsby...?! Tyler was bowling, as he does, very well, good lengths, good pace, angry and intimidating run up. Parrish got off a few early 4's and scoring was quick to start, as it often is with the Jags. Sadly a miscommunication saw Jones run out early to a solid piece of fielding. Phillips then joined Mr Parrish and hit a lovely 4 before being pinned LBW by Tyler, a decision no one even thought of questioning it was so plumb. Tyler had a fantastic evening bowling, all snarl and aggression, good pace, great lengths and real energy.

Ant joined Matt for a bit and Matt did his classic swish of the blade and showed how it was to be done, retiring on 25 in no time at all. Matt's father in law was on pitch to snap some pictures. Hold the pose, Parrish.

Ant and Fardell continued the accumulation at a clipped pace. Ant seems to have been recently been possessed by the spirit of Alastair Cook when batting, hitting actual cricket shots and looking measured and composed at the crease. I was greeted on entrance to the field by the umpire saying, "he can't drive, pack the leg side field, back foot only". Which is all true, but I thought the umpire was supposed to be neutral?! Sure enough, I hit a few back foot shots before guiding one to backward square.

Will joined Ant for a bit. Ant did a genuine, intentional, nudge off the hips for 4... Will hit a few nice shots before hitting an aerial one that was magically snaffled one handed at mid on. Then came one of the highlights of this, or any, evening. Cam out to bat. Before he strolled out he asked if he should wear his sunglasses batting or not. A few of us said, no, it might make the bowlers angry, so he gingerly put them on the table and walked out - asking if he looked ok on his way.

Ant said something to Cam in the middle, and whatever it was, Cam proceeded to hit 2 consecutive 4's, which I think Ant can take some credit for. He was swinging and walloping and hitting all sorts of things, it was a delight to watch.

Eyes on the ball, Cam. Ant retired, and that bought everyone's favourite janitor to the crease, Cob. He sweeps like Groundskeeper Willie. It doesn't matter where you bowl, or what sport you are playing, Cob is sweeping. Cam and Cob kept a... measured.. scoring pace for a while. Inching towards something resembling a partnership. They faced a lot of balls together from Mellish and Adrian, who I gather might be related. One of them bowled a maiden... when does that happen?! Cam eventually was bowled, bringing out Tyler. Tyler swung, missed and was bowled - it was that stage of the game. Saptak then joined the fun for a bit, hitting a lovely 4, before being bowled.

The score was a touch behind par at this stage, but cometh the hour cometh the man - Parrish, strolling back in from retirement. Cob was still there. Still sweeping. Parrish went, swish, run, swish, run, and in no time at all he was at 45 not out with the Jags on a competitive total of 145-7.

Here is a picture of Cob, not sweeping. Put it on your wall. It is more valuable than a Banksy.

The Jags got started in good style, opening with Ant and Will. Ant had clearly supersized his lunch, as he was vicious. Everything was full, fast and skiddy. I was impressed the batsmen kept him at bay for so long, to be honest. Will was his normal self - tall, quiet assassin that he is. Scoring was slow for Histon. Will then got one of the openers caught, I think. Ant secured an LBW and then bowled the returning Jones with an absolute Jaffa Cake of a ball. Tyler and Sap had good spells, securing a couple more wickets, caught and bowled. 

The Jags were a touch light on bowling, so some variety was on show. One of my three highlights of the evening was Murray Christie coming out to bat for Histon. He is short, by my goodness is great to watch. Foot movement, technique, an ability to pierce the field. An absolute cut above anything else on display this evening. Sap bowled a twirly spell and had the best hair on the pitch.

Parrish and Phillips took bowling duties for a period and traded insults between overs. Cob was generally pretty solid behind the stumps, with some decent chat as well. Ant criticised him at pretty much every ball, mind. Each of Parrish and Phillips got a wicket. One of the wickets was an absolute worldy of a catch from Cob - right mitt thrusted into the air at just the right moment; the pleasant thud as it hit the glove and the sudden realisation that it has stuck bringing elation.

There was some dodgy fielding, including by yours truly, but Histon were not chasing the total down, despite Murray Christie's best efforts. So Parrish turned to Cam for a bowl, and it was pretty bad, but nowhere near as bad as my over, the death over, where pins were pulled and hand grenades were tossed, sort of in the general direction of the batsmen. 

A thoroughly pleasant evening was rounded off by some light refreshment at the Red Lion.

Off to a flyer against Aveva - with an E

There couldn’t have been a more fitting setting for the first match of 2021 - The clouds were grey, rain in the air and the Downing college wicket was damp and spongey. The cold temperatures had us rummaging through our bags for extra layers and Ant contemplating batting in his gilet. Cob the inside man chose to play for the Jags over his own company but seemed to know shockingly little about his other midweek team.

We won the toss and opted to bat first with club veterans Parrish and Fardell kicking us off. Mark got his excuses in early but wasted no time at the crease dispatching multiple early boundaries. Clearly keen to put an end to the Dom Sibley comparisons of last summer, defense was not on his mind this evening. Sadly this was eventually his undoing getting bowled whilst impersonating Happy Gilmore for a quickfire 19.

Parrish benefited from some loose bowling and made his way to 27 retired in good time. Meanwhile Threadgold had arrived at the crease and seemed set on never leaving it. We don’t count balls faced at The Jags which very much played to his favour this time round. It was a  slow but solid innings and a good partnership with debutant James Barker at the other end. However close inspection of the scorebook shows Dan was actually retired prematurely by the scorers on 24 runs - An accident? That’s for you to decide.

At the other end James laid a solid foundation with Dan before kicking things into gear with 3 fours in close succession bringing him to a well-earned 25. With only a couple of overs left Cozzy joined Ant at the crease but neither could quite find their timing. Ant was bowled for 4 doing a Fardell impression from earlier leaving Tyler about 9 balls to do some damage. And that is exactly what he did, biffing his way to 9 not out on his debut. Jags finished with 151 on the board and 3 retirees - A very competitive total.

With the batting done we headed out into the arctic, drizzle in the air and longing for the pub. Will opened things up (or Phil as he is known in the book) along with Liam. Phil had the batsmen in trouble early skying one into the wind that was probably well in the reach of about 6 players. A confident shout from Tyler sadly ended up with the ball on the ground though - We had only told him to drop catches off Liam so this was naturally disappointing... but in his defense he might have got them mixed up.

Both openers bowled out with Phil taking 1 for 22 and Liam 1 for 21 - Both of them clean bowling their respective batsmen. The youthful Tyler and Joss took the reins from the old men both bowling tidyly in their first overs. Tyler went on to take 3 for 19 including two great catches from James. One grab was particularly impressive, clinging on whilst getting rugby tackled by the skipper. With my meek and timid call lost in the wind and my eyes glued to ball I didn’t see myself smash into our new recruit, earning myself a spike to the knee.

Ant and James closed things out with the ball with the game never in doubt. Ant earned a last over wicket from a good catch from Cozzy leaving him with 1 for 15 from his 4 and we left the field with a 25 run win. We quickly scarpered to the Red Bull where we were joined by club legends Mann and Lunn for post-game celebrations.

2021 Season - What you Need to Know

Hello Jags and our faithful fan base.

I'm hoping you are excited about another cricket season in prospect. This is largely an information post for the team - to highlight what's occurring this season. 

Fixture List

Despite COVID we have the infancy of a season schedule pulled together with some details TBD at this stage. We're missing a few grounds, and have a few fallow weeks, but may be able to pad them out depending on David Cameron's latest lobbying efforts on our behalf.

This will change, so please check the What's App group for the latest - and be mindful of the fact that, yes, we still are in the middle of a global pandemic, so everything is completely up in the air.

 

W/C	Date	Opposition	Ground
17th May	Thursday 20th May	AVEVA	Downing (Away)
24th May	Tuesday 25th May	The Leys	Latham Road (Away)
31st May	Tuesday 1st June	Histon	Histon (Away)
7th June
14th June	Monday 14th June	Sharks	Queens (Away)
21st June	Thursday 24th June	Dobblers	Queens (Home)
28th June	Wednesday 30th June	Deloitte	Queens (Home)
5th July	Thursday 8th July	Bidwells	Kings and Selwyn (Home)
12th July	Thursday 15th July	Ensors	Queens (Home)
19th July	Wednesday 21st July	Mills and Reeve	(Away)
26th July
2nd August	Thursday 5th August	AVEVA	Queens (Home)
9th August
16th August	Tuesday 17th August	Sharks	Kings and Selwyn (Home)

Games should start at 6pm or 5:45 - please aim to be at the ground for 5:30. 

Note the name of the ground - we are somewhat more nomadic this year than in previous years - I really don't want any of our good players turning up at the wrong ground.

Subs and Match Fees

Sadly owing to the evils of the corporate world and budget cuts due to the pandemic, we are self funded from here on in. I wanted to set out a few principles on this.

Match fees are £5 per appearance.

This year I would like to suggest a voluntary subscription, with an amount suggested at £20, for those who think they will play a few games. It helps us with balls, ground fees (one or two of which we have to cover entirely ourselves as we owe the opposition from previous years) and to cover the odd week where someone helps us out by playing for us when they wouldn't have otherwise. It helps keep this club viable.

I prefer cash on the night and will take a note - most of the ground fees are in cash in any event. If you want to pay electronically, just message me.

I'm going to keep some rudimentary accounts, so you know I am not funding my lavish lifestyle on the back of your hard earned subs. If we have any money left at the end of the season (and the chances of this extremely slim) then I will find a suitable way to re-distribute it for the good of the club... i.e. you might get a free beer at some point.

Availability

I think you all know this, but once you declare your availability, you are in - unless you get a personal message saying we have too many players and I'm terribly sorry, and please don't take it personally. We more or less operate on a first come first served basis, and most weeks we struggle to find that 11th player, so if you're available and have said you are, you are in.

If you have to change your availability, I need to know ASAP. Changing this on the day of the game is very much the opposite of nice.

Weather

I think you also all know this, but the game is on until I confirm it is off. Every year people send messages around at 3 in the afternoon on a match day telling me the clouds look a little dark and is the game definitely on.

It's on, until I tell you it's not on. I am not your personal meteorologist. It was pure bants to try and wind me up about the weather in 2013 - it is now old bants. Old bants has no place in this club.

Blog

http://jaguarscc.blogspot.com/

It's here, I'm going to maintain it, and it will have things on it. Our readership is neither vast nor diverse (it's basically about half a dozen people on the What's App group, and some random person from China), but it's something.

If you have any pictures, content, articles, thoughts or whatever - just share. The editorial bar is set quite low.

I will try and keep scores and match reports going every week.

Pub/Pre-Season/Post-Season

We like to go to the pub. It's not compulsory, but it's nice. This year, I genuinely have no idea what that will look like - so we may have to drink tinnies at the grounds or something - but I will try and book tables outside and things where that is possible.

Mailing List

We need more players - we get a good team out most of the time, but please for the love of goodness and everything that is semi-holy, if you know of someone who might be keen and can play - please add them to the What's App Group.

COVID

This year I need to do risk assessments and we all need to abide by on day protocols. These are fairly simple - hand sanitiser, keep distance where possible, no inappropriate snogging etc. I will share them in detail, but they are non-negotiable. 

Let the Games Begin

Dan's Dynamo's beat Matt's Marauders at Histon Haven

Dan's Dynamos (124-2, Fardell 25*, Stu 24*, Jones 21, Mann 1-11) beat Matt's Marauders (120-10, Parrish 32, Brolia 27, Jack H 4-17) by 8 wickets

This was going to be a Histon v Dobblers fixture, but owing to some difficulty getting the requisite number of players, we searched far and wide for recruits to get a full 22 in to play. The Histon 3rd team comprised a lot of the players in attendance tonight, played in lovely conditions on the 1st pitch. Dobblers and Jags made up the rest in two invitational XIs.

Ant showed his pre-game athletic temperament by consuming what we approximately believe to be north of 4000 calories, none of which comprised any fruit or vegetables. This diet might explain his lack of enthusiasm for 2's and singles when batting. Dan and Matt had spent the day carefully selecting two finely balanced XI's from the deep array of talent on offer. This included some actual blasts from the past, as Messrs Kris Jones and Neil Tween, two founder members of the Jaguars no less, dusted off the cobwebs, broke from retirement and returned to the field of battle. Brett, despite being seriously injured, turned up to spectate and engage in beard maintenance tips with the other hirusute warrior, Tom Parker. Bear Grylls would have been proud.

The pitch was very green, suggesting that fast bowlers who bowled full and straight would get a lot of lateral movement and backing away to leg was going to be a bad idea. I fancied making this point early in this report, given what followed.

 

See that green tinge, that means you need to be forward to fast bowlers.

Matt's Marauders (I write the reports, so I get to pick the team names) opened the batting on a lovely evening on the Histon ground. Wilde opened the bowling one end, and after a quick scurry of runs, found his range to dismiss Langley with a ball that moved in slightly to the left hander and dislodged leg stump. This brought Coslett to the crease early to support Mr Parrish. Parker was the other opening bowler, a considered choice from the skipper, Dan, who was taking duty behind the stumps and adjusting the field studiously throughout. Dan's gruff instructions and disappointment at people not carefully following his precise fielding intructions were an ever present part of the innings. Matt enjoyed the Parker bowling more than Ant enjoys beef jerky, and hit two large 4's before launching into a monster 6, straight down the ground and back over the bowler's head. Coslett found his range for the first time this season, plundering a couple of 4's.

 

Matt doing a typical Matt there. Wallop.

Matt was in typical swashbuckling form, true to his team name. Harry was economic and focussed throughout, and probably justified more than a single wicket with a targeted and direct opening spell. Parker was Parker, and Matt enjoyed his bowling immensely - he even thanked Dan behind the stumps for giving him a bowl. Matt's team had raced to a good start, 55-1-5, and a big total loomed with these long 8 ball overs taking their toll on the bowlers. Matt's retirement bought Ant to the crease, with Dan setting a very offside field to contain him.

Then came the 6th over. In truth, this over was probably the high point of this or many a season and turned the game completely on it's head. Jack H was tossed the red cherry, and thought that perhaps bowling full and straight with the seam up would be a good idea. It certainly was. Coslett was clean bowled, backing away to leg, as the first full length ball crashed into the top of off stump. Zak saw out one ball, before trying to tickle one to leg and being clean bowled from a full straight one that hit the top of leg stump. Cam came in, backed away to leg and was bowled by a full straight one that took the top of off stump. Joe strolled in and saw out the hat-trick ball before backing away to leg, and being bowled by a full straight one that hit the top of off stump. 6 balls. 4 wickets. 2 dots. Being 8 ball overs, to earn his maiden, Jack had to bowl two more dots, which he did with the minimum of fuss.

A four wicket maiden. In 20/20 evening cricket. I would have loved to have known what Ant, watching helplessly from the other end, was thinking at this point. I would wager it was somewhere between, "I can still taste my lunch" to, "it's a shame we're losing wickets, but at least I haven't had to run for an over". From 55-1-5 to 55-5-6 - Jack, whatever fine Ales they serve at the Dobblers, I need to partake.

Here is Zak's dismissal. Note the contrast in girth between the batsman and the fielder lurking in the background.

There was some fielding that was good and Dan shouted lots at fielders to move where he wanted them and put effort in, but honestly my memories of these points are all erased by a 4 wicket maiden, with all clean bowled.

Luke and Ant then hung around for a spell, with Ant demonstrating that even if you set a field to him, he will still score in his favoured off side area, with some lovely cut shots and excellent poise. Once he became aware of a distant photographer, he started posing more and looking more regal and balanced

Hold the pose.

Luke and Ant did a rescue job on the innings, helping Matt's team start to claw its way back to a total. Jack continued, economic throughout, and Oscar bowled a tidy spell. 84-5-10. Ant retired, and then some more excitement happened. Nick was briefly in before Sam came in to bowl, and enticed an airy shot which was well held by the fielder at deep point, Oscar I believe, making good ground to clutch the ball close to the turf. Neil Tween managed a cheeky 4 from the outside edge of his bat, streakier than bacon, before being clean bowled. Steve Mann then entered the fray, and perished bowled top of off, after managing an elegant pull for four, again from the normal Dobbler's Captain, Sam. 

Luke was briefly rejoined by Matt, who managed another 5 runs, before being bowled by, you guessed it, a full and straight one that hit the top of off. Madness this bowling at the stumps malarkey, who would have thought it?!

A Dobbler's bowler had absolutely begged Dan for a slip fielder in response to a streaky edge. He duly got one, and Ant obliged, by top edging a sweep over the keeper's head and into the waiting arms of the slip, which is quite clearly why you need slips. Matt's Marauders finished at the start of the 14th over on 120 all out - 14 balls short of the total potential balls bowled. Not batting out the full innings is not to be advised at this level, not least given the number of extras that are often conceded.

The sun dipped below the graceful Histon trees and in the enveloping gloom, Captain Dan decided on his batting lineup. Digging into the annals of previous Jagex teams, he chose Kris Jones and Mark Fardell to open the batting, who had last batted together in approximately 2013. The pink ball made an appearance, given the current light situation, and Matt's team set about terrorising the opener's, needing to be economic and wicket taking to have any chance of defending what looked a low total. Nick opened the bowling from one end, and was an absolute terror, fast and accurate, with good lateral movement, making scoring very challenging from the start. Ant started at the other end, and bowled a venomous single over, before being held back for later in the game.

Kris and Mark both struggled to score at the start of the innings, with a fair few played and missed chances, and lots of chirp from the fielders - well, Ant mainly, chivving Fardell with his "swing badadadada... swing..." chatter. Scoring was proving challenging, as both batsmen clung on against a committed bowling and fielding performance. The bowling change to Zak loosened the shackles somewhat, with Jones punching a nice off side four down the ground and Mr Extras taking his highly valued place in the scorebook with a couple of wides. Neither batsman fancied trying to hit anything Nick bowled, with his 3, 8 ball overs going for a total of 11 runs. He deserved a wicket to go with it, in all truth.

As Nick ran out of balls and Jones and Luke came in to the attack, both batsmen freed up their arms a little and started to get a few runs. Fardell was graciously dropped by his good friend Mr Coslett, demonstrating that the Crocodile catch technique really doesn't work. He eventually made the drop pay, cracking a couple of 4's and retiring, slowly again, at 25*. Jones and Oscar Fry picked up the pace with the scoring, including an imperious straight drive from Mr Jones. Oscar sadly pushed a little too hard on the singles, and tweaked his hamstring, forced to retire hurt. This brought Holt to the crease, and he definitely took his time to get his eye in. Jones fell bowled, having done the hard work against the openers, to the left arm seam of Luke. 

This brought Stu to the crease, who hadn't even got any cricket gear with him and had just been milling around the ground, hoping a game might happen and that someone would be short and ask him to play. The fourth delivery he faced was dispatched for a monster 6 over midwicket, almost threatening the kids in the playground or the assembled spectators, depending on your perspective. Holt eventually departed, caught from Mr Mann's devious and conniving bowling action, leaving Stu and Captain Fantastic Dan to get us over the line.

Ant hadn't read the script, with 19 needed from 3 overs, he combined with Steve to push the game to the final over. Dan and Stu struck a few lusty blows, before Ant took the cherry for the last 8 ball over, with 3 needed for the win. He bowled a couple of deliveries that were fairly wide of off, but Sam in the umpiring hotseat stretched his arms, but didn't give wides as it just wouldn't be how you'd want to win. Apart from a cheeky scampered bye, two balls left and 2 to win, 1 to draw - Ant had done a commendable job of pushing it to the wire, aided by some generous umpiring. The 7th ball offered a tiny bit of width, and was duly dispatched through point for 4, to give Dan's Dynamos the final victory that the assembled throng of spectators were clearly hoping for.

In truth it was an enjoyable game, with some good performances, a lovely setting and some very crickety things happened. Matt's team probably had the stuffing knocked out of them by Jack's legendary over, and not having managed to bat out the overs probably, meant they were 20 shy of a defendable total.

As you might expect with lots of Dobblers being part of the game, pub attendance at the Railway Vue was excellent, with decent chirp. My personal favourite was Ant declaring that he was clearly the man of the match as he had batted and bowled well. This was somewhat disputed by those at his table, but he insisted, "I feel like a winner", to which Kris replied, "did you feel like a winner when your team lost as we scored the final runs off your bowling", "erm no...". He then went home to eat 12 Scotch Eggs, as he had quite clearly not had his daily 5000 calorie intake.

 

Old Jagex faces reunited. Look at that vintage Jagex top Kris is wearing.

So, that's it, season at an end after a paltry 3 games, and not a single college ground graced. At least we got something in this year.

Drama at Ditton as Jags Do the Double

Jaguars 151-4 (Parrish 25*, Fardell 25*, Wilde 20*, Anderson-Watt 20, Langley 19), beat Sharks 149-3 (Jeeva 30*, Rammers 28*, Marc 21*Sumit 20*) by 2 runs

I want to say it was a balmy summer evening, but it was actually an absolutely murderously hot one at Fen Ditton. This was one of those evening that suggested to me this global warming might definitely be a 'thing' and we should listen to the sciency dudes in the white coats.

We were rocked before the game by a series of selection headaches. Ant had forgotten he was at a major footgolf event (look it up, it's a thing)- . Dan had to prioritise work over cricket (sensible, but also "BOOOOOO!"), and Liam, after a long and punishing season of lengthy spells with the ball, had succumbed to the dreaded hurty-knee-itus that plagues bowlers regularly breaking the 90MPH barrier with their full, fast, yorkers of doom.

Two Histon warriors, Harry Wiles and Zak Anderson-Watt kindly offered to join proceedings, thereby giving us a full XI

Also, this is Ant's new car....

Note the subtle tonal shift near the front. I think it's a special edition.

Jags started off with Parrish and Langley, and both got off to an absolute flyer. Despite Sharks opening with two of their strongest bowlers, Jeeva and their own Zak we raced to 39-0 from 4. Parrish looked in fine touch and Langley re-commenced his glorious biffing action from the previous week. Some sharp running, a couple of beautiful boundaries on the leg side and a lovely offside 4 set the Jags well on their way to a good start.

Sharks decided to change things up with the 5th over, sending on an "academy" find, Will. He had quite possibly the longest run up that has ever been seen in cricket, almost starting his run sitting on the seats near the boundary. He was tidy though, and after going for a 4, he extracted revenge from the free hitting Tobias, putting one nicely on a length to move away slightly to hit the top of middle and leg.

Fardell strolled out, and with this start, you would him to help the free scoring pace continue. You would be wrong. I managed to go a whole 9 balls without scoring, and looked more at sea than Captain Pugwash. Still Matt was playing well, and he absolutely leathered a glorious 6 on this way to a rapid fire 25*. Coslett strolled out to try and not do what Fardell was doing. Briefly leg byes, byes and a couple off the bat were scored, but then Coslett backed away to a full one that turned, didn't offer a shot, and was bowled top of off. Parrish on the sidelines was describing Fardell as the Jags Dom Sibley. Cheers, Matt.

Did I mention it was hot, God it was so hot one of my contact lenses shrivelled up in my eye and I played most of the rest of the game with blurred vision.

Coslett's departure to the dangerous Sumit bought the debutant Zak to the crease. He gave due respect to the dangerous spin bowler first up, and after getting his eye in, absolutely creamed a straight drive back past the bowler to the long off boundary. It was a shot that demanded field changes, and Sharks duly obliged. Footwork was present in abundance, and actual cricket shots were played, a lovely late cut, and some excellent running in the murderous heat, contributed to a very respectable 78-2-10 half way score.

I eventually retired, and I think maybe I should retire - after edging a slow ball cross batted past the missing slip, hitting one ball twice, missing a spin ball that missed everything, and getting dropped scoring the single that got me to 25* precisely. I believe I ran 10 2's, and only one of them came from my bat.

Cob joined Zak for a bit, but was run out in highly unfortunate circumstances. Chasing a difficult second, his bat bounced as he tried to ground it, sending him tumbling, but unfortunately in an airborne fashion. This bough the other debutant Harry to the crease. He played some sublime shots and showed some absolutely excellent running acumen, to push the score along. One legside 4 off the pads was played with such timing it seemed effortless, yet sped to the boundary for 4, bi-secting fielders and appearing to pick up pace as it went.

Zak went well bowled to a very good ball from Pat towards the death for a well made 23. Will and Harry astutely ran and pushed the field, to get the Jags to a very competitive 151-4.

Jags opened the bowling with Sir William of Longstanton once more, and Zak at the other end. Combining rangy pace with wily spin to help keep things thought provoking for the batsmen. Once more the Jags were trying a defensive in-out field, feeling confident in the total and trusting their bowlers to keep their lines. The energy in the field was, once more, absolutely excellent, with lots of hustle and chatter helping keep the scoring rate low to start. The only aberration was an early moon ball that Rammers duly dispatched for 6. 

Fielding pressure brings suicidial tendencies, and despite a promising opening partnership, Ralph the other opener (in the book as Captain Darling, an absolutely brilliant nickname) tried a hasty single to a nudged ball off Will. Will swooped on the ball, picked it up in one motion, and threw down the stumps with an underarm direct hit leaving Darling disappointed.

This bought Jeeva to the crease and a period of more freely hit balls ensued, with Rammers retiring on 28* after a typically brutal innings. Harry and Mann were the bowling changes. The fielding continued with aplomb, Parrish was lively, Cob was diligent and focussed behind the stumps, and Langley, Zak, Coslett, Cam and even Mr Tom Parker gave some excellent efforts in the field to keep the pressure on.

Harry bowled with control, with something North of military medium, but more importantly accuracy and some lateral movement. Mann bowled with his joyous action, all guile and style, - suggesting a gentleman who could have played at the highest level, were it not for his lifestyle predelictions of fine wine, food and women, and travel to Spain for sun worship. He managed to extract one batsman with a decent ball hoiked to Zak at short square leg. Harry's control managed to extract a golden duck from the next batsman, and Harry was then hauled off to be saved for the death overs, having manifestly earnt it with an economic and accurate spell.

Jags looked good at the turn, with Sharks 69-3-10 with Harry having two in the hopper.

This brought Mr Tom Parker into the attack. He bowled with, generally, very good control across a 4 over spell, which apart from one full toss dispatched for 6, helped tie down the scoring. Mann continued, irrepresible as ever and with more fine fielding, we found ourselves looking at 107-3-15, and a rate of over 8 required seeming comfortable with the fielding that had been seen so far. Harry returned to help us through the final 3 overs, alongside Tom P.

Then with things under control, and a fine fielding performance under our belts, we thought, fuck it, let's make this interesting. Sumit and Marc put on a good partnership for the Sharks (although Marc tried a truly bizarre reverse sweep at one point for no reason) and Tom and Harry bowled well, but an ill advised attempt at a direct hit run out, some dubious backing up, and a few mix ups in the field left the Sharks in with a chance, needing 19 off the last over.

Here comes trouble. 

A dot was followed by two fours, one leg side and the other I can't recall, leaving 11 needed for the win from 3 balls. 4 byes then somehow crept through everything. 7 needed from 2. 2 runs scored. 5 needed from one. The field spread, glory beckoned. Then, drama. A wide was given when we thought it was a dot. 4 needed from one ball. The batsmen could only earn single leaving them 2 runs short. Prince Harry had seen us through.

Again a great fielding performance, lovely debuts from Zak and Harry and a brief attempt to spike our own guns, it was a satisfying win which could have gone either way.

It also weren't half hot Mum.

We tried to go to some local pubs, but the heat had clearly tempted everyone out, so people had to decamp to the Waggon and Horses in Milton instead.

Also, here is a picture of Cam's finger, showing the level of fielding commitment that has been demonstrated in our short season to date.

This proves that, A) Cam is well hard; and B) Jags are committed in the field. Respect.

Jags Stun Sharks After Lockdown Layoff

Jaguars 155-5 (Langley 28*, Threadgold 28*, Brolia 27*, Wiseman 25*, Sumit 3-22) beat Sharks 130-6 (Raj 25*, Pat 18, Sumit 16*, Brett 2-10, Threadgold 2-31) by 25 runs

On a balmy Cambridge evening at Fen Ditton, the Jags shook off the post lockdown cobwebs to win comfortably against our old foes and friends, Sharks, with contributions across the board.

Pre-game the chat was about the state of the Ditton pitch, with one set of stumps being at such a funny angle, it looked as though it would fall over in a stiff breeze. There was also a slope that looked as though it turned into a crevasse at one end of the ground, and the track was described pre-game as being "like day 3 at the Somme" by one seasoned observer. Ant is currently car-less, and owing to some questionable career/life choices, he is currently in the process of acquiring a part maroon, part red, Ford Fiesta, which could generously be described as a "runaround". Where's the Merc eh, Ant? Post lockdown beards and bellies were present in abundance varying between hobo (Will) and Bear Grylls (Liam), as a strong team looked forward to salvaging 1 or 2 games of the season before the long, cricket-less, winter.

Parrish wisely chose to bat first this late in the summer, and put Fardell and Langley in to open. Fardell found it difficult against the accurate and rapid bowling of the opener Jeeva, and was struggling to trouble the scorers early on. Langley on the other hand waited only till the second over to bludgeon 3 consecutive 4's on his way to a rapid start for the Jags. In truth both openers tended to treat Jeeva with respect and look to score against other members of the Sharks lineup, as demonstrated by Jeeva's impressive end figures of 12 runs from 3 overs. Respect. Langley continued with fluency, and Fardell did his best to encourage the attendant Jags to support their team, or even just pay attention to what was happening. There was a cheer at one point, more ironic than rousing.

Langley continued with fluency and retired on 28 off 15 balls, demonstrating that a pre-season of nets and training was no substitute for raw natural talent and months of re-watching highlights from the 2019 Cricket World Cup. Parrish's stay at the crease was brief, given out LBW by Liam to a straight low fast one that he missed and was going to hit the middle stump about a foot off the ground. Threadgold game to the crease and struck a few class 4's early on. Fardell and Threadgold both gave the fielders chances, but none were taken in this spell, allowing the Jags to continue scoring at a good clip, getting to 77 for one from 10 overs. Sharks brought Sumit into the attack and he tied the batsmen down for a spell, proving hard to score against and threatening. Fardell fell to him on 24, from 28 balls no less - despite the game being a 20/20 evening game where rapid scoring is important.

Coslett made an appearance at the crease, having rushed back from Southwold on the Suffolk coast slightly late. Threadgold retired on a monster 6 walloped into the trees, making 28 from 20. Brolia then ambled out to the crease, all insouciance and swagger. Coslett presented a caught and bowled back to Sumit after scoring a couple, leaving Cob to stroll in, fresh off a strong leg side sweep showing for Histon at the weekend and sporting a series of fairly impressive bruises. In truth he looks like he's getting weekly beatings from one of his housemates at the moment.

Cob fell early to an absolute class ball from Sumit, with bite and turn, taking the top of off stump. Sumit was the pick of their bowlers on the evening with 3 well made wickets and a couple of dropped catches to his name. Cob's departure brought our guest player for the evening to the crease, Mr Chris Wiseman, who had played for Sharks the previous evening and described himself as a bowler. Ant and Chris put on a strong partnership, with Ant hitting a 6 and taking a shine to the bowling with some lovely strokes, including a nice 4 that he admired in "the pose" for a good 10 seconds. Chris put in some excellent shots, being particularly strong on the off side and committed in his running. We are indebted to the Sharks for providing such a talented substitute.

During this passage of play, I saw something I never thought I would see. Brolia ran 2 2's and even ran a 3 to a ball that actually went for 4. Given that it is hard to get him out of bed at times, this was quite something - I took it as a good omen for the fielding effort ahead. The pace was good and one of the two gentlemen retired, bringing Brett to the crease. He struck a couple of deft shots before being trapped in front LBW. As chance would have it, Mr Parrish was the umpire at this point, and I swear he'd given Brett out LB before the ball had even pitched.

Mann ("I got 87 once") went out to join proceedings and struck a sweet late cut, or super dab as I'm going to call it. He was briefly joined by Will.I.Am, and managed to contribute a 4 owing to some comedy fielding, driving the Jags to a very competitive 155-5. In truth the track was actually pretty true for most of the evening, and pre-game concerns about the strip were not generally justified this evening.

Strolling out to field, the team were full of chatter, always a thoroughly good sign. Will opened the bowling and produced a ball worthy of Histon 3's first up, full length, pace, and the late movement of an in-ducker to send the opening batsman, Jeeva, back to the hutch without troubling the scorers. He's a danger man, so this was quite something. The fielding was energetic and lively and after his first ball, Will introduced some of the famed Longstanton variety to his bowling for the rest of the first over. Liam opened the other end despite being seriously injured, and being marked down as "balding-beard" in the Sharks scorebook. I assume he read this description before strolling out, as he was fired up and bowled very well, taking a wicket caught in his first over. Coslett was the catcher, and he tried to make an easy catch look as physically difficult as possible, but still managed to hold on.

Threadgold, Langley, Parrish and Ant, yes Ant, all provided notable hard working shifts in the field. It was a delight to see, as the clouds rolled in and the darkness began to descend. Brett got a second wicket very well bowled, and was that thing that he can occasionally be, threatening and economical - the perfect 20/20 bowler. Will continued, a little wayward, but in truth he had done so much damage with the first ball that he'd set the Jags up to constrict the Sharks early on. 

Then, disaster - Cob had been tidy behind the stumps, but in the descending light he failed to pick one that went through the batsman from Liam, dived and deflected the ball straight into his eye. It looked nasty. Someone enquired as to whether he was ok, and he said in true Geordie style, "yep, fine lads". When we gathered round the pooling blood suggested otherwise. The batsmen at this point had generously jogged a single to allow the batsman at the non-striker's end, an actual doctor no less (Dr Raj), to get closer to the wounded wicketkeeping warrior. The game paused and the doctor decided to retire to tend to his new patient, with Parrish taking wicket keeping duties and Jags a man light.

Brolia came in to bowl and started by bowling one that strained his side. He also got his customary wide in first over - nice to get it out of the way early, chap. His bowling was otherwise very tidy. At this point the good doctor had finished his inspection, and determined that the best thing was for Cob to go to A&E, sporting a nasty looking cut eyebrow. Mani, the umpire at this stage kindly volunteered to take him, and the game continued. Threadgold, sporting a new reverse Pietersen style skunk hairdo, came in to bowl at the other end. The Sharks batsmen tried to accelerate at this point, so scoring rates moved upwards, but chances were coming.

Ant then bowled one that went through the batsman, and Parrish quick as a flash threw down the stumps, finding the batsman out of his ground, for a smartly taken stumping suggesting a man who did the job week in week out.

As Threadgold and Ant continued, Sharks pushed on. The doctor came back to re-join proceedings when Threadgold secured a wicket, very well caught by Langley in the deep. In truth, the good Doctor was the class act of this half of the innings, helping a fellow wounded player and hitting some lovely shots on his way to top scoring for the Sharks at 25* across two spells. Threadgold bowled the normal Sharks skipper with a full ball, bringing Sumit and Marc to the crease. Wiseman then demonstrated his bowling prowess with 3 economic overs. The scorebook is a little messy on the details, but we will say 3 overs that conceded 12 runs. Langley produced some fine work in the field that I recall, and chirp and chatter was excellent - even if the light wasn't.

Chris was joined by the irrepressible Steve Mann - the only gentleman I know who had legal access to a pub during lockdown. Sumit scored some classy shots trying to get Sharks within sight, but the rate was climbing and it looked a lost cause. Marc pleaded with Fardell to come on and twirl his arm for an over or two, but the experienced Parrish knew better than to risk calamity, and stuck with Chris and Steve. I'm going to take this opportunity to describe Steve Mann's bowling action as languid and erotic, because I can.

In the end, Sharks were never close to chasing it down despite some good efforts from the batsmen - and the Jags fielding and most of the bowling was exemplary.

On leaving the field talk was of the Plough in Fen Ditton, assuming we could find it in the enveloping gloom. I found the below tissue next to my cricket bag, a testament to the heroism and manliness of Cob the helmet dodger.

We received the welcome update that Cob was having his eye glued back together and would be down at the pub soon. Ant took the opportunity to drive Cob's car out of the ground. If Cob had known we would toss his car keys to Ant, it is distinctly likely he would have driven himself to the hospital. The pub was pleasant, with a good turnout and cheer. Cob made good on his promise to attend, fully re-assembled and ready for a pint of the bitter stuff.

We're all most pleased that he looks no less attractive than he did before and are very grateful to Dr Raj and Mani for their assistance.

A good game played in good spirits, with contributions from across the board. It suggests this would have been a wonderful season, but in truth, we are just happy to get a game in after the madness of 2020.