Jagex Swindled By Aveva Wide Boy

On an evening where suntans were made, Jagex faced Aveva for the second time this season, hoping to replicate their previous victory - albeit without the apocalyptic storms that accompanied that win.

The toss was won by Fardell, and Jagex elected to bat and make hay whilst the sun shined. The batting was opened by a rejuvenated Fardell who proceeded to face two jaffas first up, the second of which he edged behind and gallantly walked before the umpire could awaken from his slumber. Chapeau.

Colledge, quietly accumulating, was joined by P Morgan. The opening bowlers for Aveva were extracting quite a significant amount of movement which ultimately did for Piers, with Richards snaffling his second catch. Justin, having elected to be the new KP at number four, joined Colledge for a partnership of over forty runs to set up the charge of the light not-so-light brigade further down the order. Given Justin’s recently injury at the Jagex Summer Mash Up, this could be his last significant participation for the season. Rule 1: never go on a ride with Neil McClarty. Colledge, Mr Consistency, brought up another 25 for the season.

Smith then emerged, hoping to notch up a Bradman-esque score. Unfortunately he fell to his nemesis, the wide one outside leg, and was bowled off his pads. Amoraal struck a few hefty blows, with some great noises, but unfortunately was bowled by a special one that hit middle half-way up.

A partnership then formed between Atkinson and Tween. Atkinson’s excellent scoring on the leg side and Tween’s unorthodox ‘stepping away and slapping down the ground’ bewitched the Aveva bowlers, as runs were plundered in the field. Tween then reached his twenty-five, which was remarkable and unlikely to be seen again before the next solar eclipse. However, not to be outdone, Atkinson brought up his retirement with a smashed six, leaving three men in the hutch retired on 25.

Some lusty hitting then occurred, included a lovely pirouette by Neil McClarty. Tony Hawk couldn’t perform a 360 like that. In the end, Jagex had set a fine 132 to win, exceptional considering that the score was 9-2 from four overs, and 23-2 from seven. 

Aveva set off well in reply, reaching 26 without loss after three overs. Fortunately Morgan (P) found his range, and proceeded to Pradeep with a filthy delivery. Jagex chipped away with some excellent banter, but unfortunately the chances weren’t taken. Justin was a magnet in the field. Unfortunately both he and the ball were set to repel, dropping a couple of catches. Fortunately he redeemed himself with the dismissal of Shashank for 20.

Jagex started to turn the screw. Jon Lee unleashed his mystery ball first up. The ball set off on an incredible arc, shooting high in the air, looking like a certain no-ball. Fortunately Jon has mastered many of the laws of physics, and the ball dipped at the last minute, hitting the stumps a few inches above the ground. The batsman’s face was a picture.

Running between the wickets started to get panicked. One batsman ran so hard for a single that he threw his bat and did a forward roll. Points definitely lost for showing us some builder’s bum afterwards. Mike Howe then unleashed a roar not seen since the Lion King when an LBW decision was turned down. Don’t worry Mike, it was close, just breathe.

Amoraal and Atkinson bowled well, bringing the game back to Jagex. Atkinson finished with figures of 0-24, and Amoraal finished with 1-14. Consistent with other games, Amoraal’s Fourth Over Syndrome is never reported in match figures.

And then the game was ruined. With a reasonable target and a tight finish brewing, one of the Aveva umpires clearly started to suffer from a bad back, and had to stretch out his arms. The problem clearly increased as the final few overs concluded, and reached a point towards the end when he was virtually stuck in the crucifix position. Fortunately his complete idiocy was not lost on his team-mates, who were very embarrassed when he called ‘wide’ for Aveva to win the match. For the record, the ball was bowled at leg stump (inside the pads), the batsman stepped out to hit to leg, and missed. It was an inch from bowling him. What a [insert expletive].

An embarrassing end to the game blighted a sterling Jagex performance and recovery. And, at the very least, it was nice and sunny.

Credit to N Tween for this match report