2025 Season Planning Underway

Dear Blog Readers, all 3 of you, I wanted to give you an update for the planning for the 2025 season for the Jags.

This time of year it is dreary and dull, and thoughts turn towards having something to look forward to. Most of us start planning holidays, thinking of career moves, debate changing partners for an upgrade, or go to this mythical place I have heard of called a "gym". 

Personally, for as long as I can remember, in order to get through the quiet winter months I start planning and thinking of the cricket season to come. Thoughts turn towards players new and returning, the venerable old grounds we get to play at, the Red Bull pizza menu, and as the light begins to return to our evenings, I am heartened at the thought of the fun to come.

We've been part of the Cambridge Business House League for a few seasons, last year we tried our hand at Division 1 with, it must be said, limited success, and a thoroughly deserved relegation. We're looking forward to returning to the more comforting environment of Division 2 this season. The season kick off meeting is normally a slightly unusual affair at the Dobblers pub, with scraps of paper and numbers exchanged in a very old fashioned sort of manner.

I've got 3 friendlies in the offing already, two against the Sharks and one against the Leys School before the season kick off meeting has begun. We're also looking at Queens this year as our mostly home ground and hope to play there as often as physically possible, lovely as it is. I'd love to have a death bench with my name on placed there at some point, saying something like, "Mark Edward Fardell 1982-2100 - He sat here a lot watching other people on his team bat".

We're once more signed up to the Cambridgeshire Cricket Association, and the Cambridgeshire Cricket Board and Fraser Daws are helping us be insured for general trips and slips and life changing injuries caused by Tyler's bowling.

I also have a "pending" criminal records bureau background check to come (fingers crossed they don't search the police records overseas - I had rather too much fun in Estonia once). I will shortly be doing my third "Safe Hands" course, which is a bit like a speed awareness course, but less fun and a bit simpler (Q: Should You? A - be a bad man or B be a good man). Last year I understand one person failed it in the County, which I think should disqualify him from being allowed to ever leave his house again.

On the subject of failing tests - a small personal confession. I failed my driving theory test once, 29/35, which I think is pretty common. I also failed my driving practical test twice before passing third time. On my second test, I failed to stop at a zebra crossing where a group of school children and a teacher were waiting to cross quite patiently. The instructor made me turn the next corner, pull in and park, turn the car off and hand him the keys and told me he was, "terminating this test in the interests of public safety". I then had to get out of the car and swap seats with the instructor and he drove me back to the test centre past some of my then schoolfriends; the ultimate teenage humiliation. Despite this, my Mum saw the car come into the test centre and when I got out, she asked if it had gone well...

So, if anyone needs a lift this year, just bear that little paragraph in mind before you ask me.

As ever, I plan to write more as well, or at least use my best endeavours. More content is better than small amounts of curated content I feel. 

The times are a bit weird in the world right now, but cricket will always have it's earthy place to ground us. In a strange way cricket is a quite absurd, but enjoyable as a pastime, so perhaps it is a microcosm of the madness around us right now, a mirror to nature if you will.

Let the games begin.

Mulched

Jags 147-8 (Meldal 59, Phillips 28*, Parrish 27 Raju 3-21) lost to Madingley Mulch (Pitigala 86*, F Christie 2-25) by 7 wickets

MOTM - Meldal

Having decided last week to lose by batting first and not putting enough runs on the board, this week we decided to put enough runs on the board and lose by fielding badly. We are finding new and innovative ways of losing lately. Good opposition mind.

Queens this week and these fellas from last year who moved with us from Division's 2 through to 1.

Matt and Freddie opened well. Matt was struggling to time it against some really challenging bowling. Freddie was at it from the off though, looking in fine touch. Matt playing second fiddle is unusual, but what he did phenomenally throughout was strike rotation. He wasn't timing it, but if you tip and run and rotate, you accumulate nicely. Team cricket is often about finding a way, and Matt knows this intimately. Some weeks you time it well, some weeks you don't. Some weeks it's chance free, some weeks it isn't. Each week finds its own path. This week it was ugly and hard, but it worked.

Matt all geared up and ready to find out what the cricketing gods have in store for him this week

Freddie was scoring all round the ground looking in lovely touch. A square drive 4 sticks in my mind somewhat as well as all the 4's being proper cricket shots. Matt eventually fell having helped get us to 79-1 from 10 or so, bowled by one that kept low. Benjamin Sawyer, father of Micah, was then welcomed to proceedings for the first time this year. He didn't hang about, choosing to go early on one that went high and was safely snaffled by the bowler.

Barker then strolled out and edged his first to the keeper. The bowler was on a hat trick and I strolled out to face it. Batting on a hat trick ball for the second week in a row. What are the odds. The really odd thing was they didn't change the field or anything, like some emotionless bunch. I survived it, then hit a pretty nice 2 that the assembled throng cheered like it was a cover driven 6 for some reason. 

I fell to an LBW appeal, that was almost not given as the bowler forgot to appeal for about 10 seconds. Then gently enquired and I was sent packing. It was plumb(er) than Mario and Luigi.

Oh no, he's out. Mamma Mia.

In a recurring theme of the evening, the opposition didn't show anything resembling emotion for any wicket whatsoever. No celebrations, hardly an appeal. It was eerily quiet.

Phillips joined Meldal for a bit and he was a strong contender for MOTM, as he got us going again after 3 quick wickets with his trade mark fast running and his trade mark "Phillips-Scoop" where he walks across his stumps and shovels it to square leg. It's a shot that defies description for even the most prose-laden of scribes.

Meldal fell after a sporting innings, for 59, to one that stayed a touch lower. Phillips was helped by Baker for a bit, but George fell to a great caught and bowled around the ankles, that the bowler didn't celebrate. It felt like we were playing against a team composed of people who had called the Samaritans switchboard that day as things were not going so well. Silent, emotionless.

Sabin joined Phillips and it was all sprinted runs before he fell bowled. Phillips then ran out Fraser Christie first ball. He's one of the top 3 cricket players in his family. Tyler joined his good old pal Phillips at the death and scored a spiffing 4 to help us get to 147-8.

Bennet and Sausage opened the bowling, and once more we had a gun bat opening, so what did we do - we decided not to catch him. They comfortably scored off both openers. The opener was dropped by Mr Sawyer at short cover, but he may have been put off by Mr Parrish looming large with the gloves right behind him. Both Sausage and Bennet came in for some contrasting tap. Barker joined the bowling for a bit but also went wicketless and the opener cruised to 50, untroubled.

We then dropped the same guy again in the deep on 50 - I think Barker or Tyler, they look so alike. 

75-0 and Matt tossed the cherry to F Christie, who twirled his arms like a ballerina, but got the breakthrough, with some nice penetrating bowling. Outside off, good length and Matt completed a tough stumping (it was very wide). Fraser subsequently bowled another, and his bowling is really quite hard to score from and also quite threatening.

Bennett then came back for Barker and won the "Worst thing of the Night" award. The batsmen pushed off for a single. Tyler got to the ball and showing an admirable, complete and total lack of anything resembling game awareness, tried to direct hit run out the other batsman who at that point was on 0 - not the guy who was on 50 and cruising, but was vulnerable to being run out. Bravo, Tyler. I'd suggest you walk home to give yourself time to think about things.

Phillips and I kept up the chirp. I also stopped an absolute screamer at point from the man who was batting well. George did some good work in the deep and then got an over for his trouble.

Sawyer decided to bring it home for them conceding 3 6's from the opener, with two of them possibly being catchable at just over head height for F Christie. He ended up on 86*. 

Anatomy of a Burger

After our last game against Cambourne, we went to the pub and had a pint and a burger. I ate burgers how I have eaten burgers in a restaurant since I was a child, and Matt was utterly shocked at how I do it. So here is the story behind the beer and burger.

Brown and yellow bits = good / green, red and purple bits = bad

I'm quite habitual in nature. Doing things over and over again that I like, in the way that I like, makes me happy. Some people put this down as weird, ADHD or whatever. I figure if it makes you happy and doesn't harm anyone else, then keep on doing it, sport.

This habitual thing used to work quite well when it came to batting in cricket for me. It may well work again, who knows. I enjoy it though, it worked before, so I'll keep doing it.

A long time ago in Devon when I was 7 we went on a family holiday to Torbay, near Paignton. This was the 80's, and eating out and takeaway food was much less prevalent than it is now. We ate everything home or school cooked, other than the occasional takeaway fish and chips. It was a different time, and for people of a certain vintage, this will feel familiar. When I explain it to youngsters, they seem to think I must have been Oliver Twist's twin brother. Kids nowadays with their Tik Toks, and their YouTube, and their total absence of rickets - they don't know they're born. We had no mobile phones, 4 TV channels and smoking was still cool.

Going on holiday was the first time I had encountered a sit down restaurant. Choosing what you want from a menu as a treat, it was new and exciting and unexpected. This was to be my first burger and chips. In the restaurant of the hotel we were staying in, which I think was called the Inn on the Green.

The burger turned up, as these things do, with lots of salad in it, much like the picture above. I was 7. I didn't want the salad. What child of that age thinks, yummy, time for some nice organic lettuce. So I asked my Mum if I could remove it from the burger. Using her top drawer parenting skills: she knew if she said no, there was a good chance I wouldn't eat the burger; if she said yes, I was missing out on vital nutrients essential for my development. So she compromised (the key to all parenting, in my experience) and said - you can take the salad out of the burger as long as you eat everything on your plate.

So this is what I did. I removed the lettuce, tomato and gherkin and re-assembled my burger without the rabbit food bit. I ate each of the salad like things, warmed by the burger, individually. I then really really enjoyed the burger and chips, essentially inhaling both without chewing. I have done this with certain foods ever since. My brain tells me that if I eat the thing I don't like, and finish with the thing I do, I will be happy. So that is what I do.

This habit also plays into my core Britishness - I want to order the thing off the menu with the minimum of fuss. I find the idea of talking to a waiter and saying, "can you customise my burger by removing the gherkin" confrontational and threatening in a socially awkward way. So I don't want to do it. I'd much rather order the thing as it is, then "fix" it on my plate, whilst also disposing of the evidence that I have corrected the salad like injustice the chef has decided to impose upon my palate.

If this makes me weird, then I am happy to be weird.

Cambourne Bombered - The Chris Mailes Game

Jags 101-10 (Parrish 39*, Barker 25, Duffy 3-13) lost to Cambourne CC 102-2 (Hasan 72*, Savage 1-16) by 8 wickets

MOTM - Barker

I would hazard a guess that when we've lost games where we are in fact the main reason for the loss, 9 times out of 10, they are lost by us letting ourselves down in the fielding department. Dropped catches, missed stumpings and run outs, or choosing to give a batsman scoring freely 9 lives or so. 

This game was thoroughly lost by us not putting on anything resembling a decent total as a whole host of us just threw our wickets away in a bizarre performance of inept batting. It's not really like us, but it did happen. I was there to witness it and played my part.

Some regulars had declined to attend owing to a game of kick ball being played in Germania on this particular evening. Also, Chris Mailes cancelled with less 

Parrish and Meldal started proceedings. Meldal fell early to a skied chance, with one that stuck in the pitch. Boudy then edged behind to the keeper first ball, meaning I had to wander out to face a hat-trick ball. I survived that (by closing my eyes no less), but never settled,  and was bowled middle stump with an ungainly hoick to try and get going. We were 3 runs for 3 wickets, in less than 2 overs, and Matt was pulling that face he's had to pull a few times - the "oh my goodness, do I have to do this all myself again!".

How I currently look to every single bowler I face

Barker came in, and as Matt hoped, he stuck around facing the majority of the strike. After a false start of sorts, we got going, with strike rotation, shots and fun times from these two gents. Barker was particularly strong down the wicket and on the sweep, and Parrish was walloping it when he got to face it, which was not very often. This propelled us to 50 odd runs, which had seemed quite out of reach 2 overs in.

Barker eventually perished, just not quite hitting one down the ground and being caught. Warburton came in, a late sub, and gamely ran and pushed lots of singles to keep the rate up. Matt was still really not facing much of the ball at all, but he was still there, and that is important for reasons.

Warburton then ran himself out chasing a non-existent run. It was good he ran himself out, as this mean Matt might get to face some more bowling at some point. Sabin joined Matt and ran an all action 4. This prompted one of favourite moments of the evening (I was umpiring so could hear) when Matt called Sabin over for a chat between overs and just said to Sabin words to the effect of - "you look tired after running 4, so we're going to pretend to be having a long chat about tactics and what not, but the truth is just stay here for a bit, I'll talk and you catch your breath fella". 

Sabin and Matt got us to 84-6, when Sabin fell bowled. P Cooper joined Matt. They moved things along, but then Paul was caught and bowled to a very nice ankle high grab. G Baker joined Matt for a bit, and we were fast running out of partners for our skipper. 

Baker fell, run out to a suicide 2 leaving us at 101-8 with 16 balls to go. Matt carefully instructed Tyler to rotate the strike and give Matt a chance to get us to 120. Tyler went hard first ball and was caught. 101-9. Sausage then strolled out and Matt gave him the exact same talk, nothing silly, let's play out the over and get me on strike. He then pitched it up for an easy catch. Team hat trick to finish. 101 all out.

Matt somehow went through a 106 ball innings and only faced 34 balls. I would say that 7 or so of our wickets were thrown away and defending 101 is, erm, not likely on a nice deck.

Not to spoil it for you, but we didn't defend it. We seemed to have decided that if we hadn't batted well, then we didn't need to field well either.

Bennett and Sausage opened up. Sausage bowled really well, castling one of the openers at 22-1. Their other opener, playing in sunglasses, was hitting some absolutely class shots from the off and looked the man to get if we had even a slim chance of defending this meagre total.

Barker came in for Bennett. We then dropped their opener the first time (P Cooper, covers). Barker then extracted their number 3 with a catch to leave it at 59-2 to give us the tiniest bit of hope.

The amount of hope we had at this point

We were lost at this point really, so we just chirped, chirped and chirped some more. I was particularly proud of saying, "come on boys, net run rate is a factor here" when the batsmen briefly slowed down, causing both umpires to bend over laughing. I'm contributing somehow, lads.

We then dropped their opener again (cow ish - J Barker), in keeping with the theme of the evening. None was an easy chance, but if you're going to drop one, make it not the guy who is scoring all the runs. Cooper came in for an over, and was hit about a fair bit.

They got there in 11 overs. We put too few on the board to have a chance, and then didn't really give ourselves a chance in the field. The chirp was good. We went to the pub and talked about burgers.

If Chris Mailes has turned up, we were certain to have won this at a canter. He didn't, so we lost, and we will never ever forget it.

Also Chris, pay your match fees.

Youngsters bring the music in low scoring burner

Jags 107/4 (Meldal 50*, Murray C 25*, Bennett 15) beat Cambridge NCI 106/7 (Furlow 30, B Savage 20-2) by 6 wickets.

MOTM - Meldal

This friendly didn't feel like a 20/20 game for reasons I will go into below, but we'll still take our third win of the season at Queens. 

NCI won the toss and elected to bat, as is their right. We started with Messrs Bennett and Barker. Both bowled quite well, but honest to goodness the batsmen just spent the first 6/7 overs not trying to hit a thing. It was block block block and I almost fell asleep standing up in the field as there was no scoring or even attempts at scoring. They had crawled to 13 or so after 7 overs without loss (all scored by one of the batsmen). Well done fellas, keeping those wickets for the explosive finish. 

Spoiler alert: there was no explosive finish.

After 6 overs, Matt realised he would need to change things if we were to actually get any time batting, so he turned and threw the cherry to Phillips replacing Bennett (who had an economy of 1.33). Phillips actually bowled quite well, a combination of looseners feeding them some runs and better balls. It was very box of chocolates/Forrest Gump, which was good for the game situation.

Phillips, you never know watchya gonna get

Barker eventually took out the first wicket of one of the openers. Who fell for 0. From 15 balls. With not a single shot of intent played at any point. They even turned down pretty easy singles. Caught by Meldal. Barker then stepped out of the attack for Mr Savage.

The batsmen slowly crawled to 28-1 off 9 overs. A low 60's score was in prospect, and people were so disinterested in the snoozefest ahead of them that one of them (let's call him Ant), just let a ball sail past him that was easily gettable to help give them some runs.

The batsmen slowly began to accumulate runs and things started to get somewhere. Not somewhere exciting mind. Just somewhere. I recall Savage really not fancying a skied catch off his own bowling, and it was still really rather slow. Mr M Christie was doing some nice things behind the stumps. Phillips then got the other opener, caught by Felix Day on debut. This left him with one more wicket than Mr Bennett in this game, but of course he is far too modest to mention such things and certainly wouldn't tell Tyler over and over again about this feat.

The runs were still not quite flowing - so desperate times called for desperate measures, and I was called into the, [ahem], attack to perhaps offer a few generous nice gentle runs to the opposition. Benjy got a wicket, probably deserved, the batsman top edged it and Murray took the unorthodox overhand wicket keeper catch with the gloves position in front of the stumps. He was just trying to entertain us all by making it look hard.

Then my turn. A couple of very slow dots, were followed by a ball that should never be allowed in cricket. I bowled an almost two bounce legside wide, short, hitting a 4th stump outside leg stump. All the batsman had to do was get out the way and it was a no ball or wide, or even both to be honest. He didn't do that. He tried to get in position to hit it. What followed defied all physics. He somehow stopped the ball from bouncing twice with his left leg, which flicked it upwards onto his right leg. His right leg then sort of twitched and his knee hit the ball onto leg stump with all the force of a feather floating from the sky. It was, however, somehow enough to dislodge the bails.

No one celebrated. I was in shock and the batsman trudged off. There was silence and then just laughter. The rest of the over saw a single a dot and a wide. So I had 1 wicket for 3 runs from an over we had put on to give them some fun.

If there was a tale about a race between a snail and a Fardell bowled ball, the snail would win.

Savage and I continued and they really still didn't pick up the pace, but at least they scored some runs here and there. I gave a more generous second over, throwing pies down and the batsmen realising that no, this wasn't some Jedi mind trick, it really is just slow loopy unthreatening bowling so tried to hit it. Well done lads. There was a further moment of comedy introduced by my bowling where I bowled a slow over head height full toss and neither umpire made any signal - so I had to sheepishly say to them, "gents, I just bowled a no ball, do you want to signal for it to the scorers?". They obliged. The umpires where the opening batsmen at this point, languid it seems even when umpiring.

Savage and I were replaced by Boud and Felix Day. Felix got a wicket stumped and saw another dropped by Phillips and I, as neither of us really went for it. Boud did not get a wicket. Parrish replaced Boud, really eager to try and give them some runs, and he did. There was then a Bennett run out at the end and NCI had managed 106-7. 

It was a low total - we had done our best to inflate it, but despite the juicy pies on offer, NCI had just not been hungry.

The chase was pretty straightforward from what I recall. Meldal and Ant started, with Freddie taking a little time to get going, and Ant losing his leg stump early - with his beau watching on the sidelines (she somehow missed his wicket).

Murray and Freddie then accumulated nicely. Freddie eventually took a shine to one bowler and biffed 4,4,6,4 in one over to end up retiring on a nice round 50.

Boud joined things for a bit. Murray hit four lovely consecutive shots for 0, a late cut, a cover drive then two more lovely late cuts. His Dad was following proceedings from afar on PlayCricket and indicated he was disappointed with the 60 strike rate he ended up with.

Boud fell caught having a slap and Felix Day joined us on debut. He found it hard to score, but was a willing runner, but ending up bowled top of off. 

We then sent Tyler in to bat, he wasted no time walloping the ball here and there. Jags comfortably ahead of the rate, and we got a Tyler 6, deep square, absolute wallop, and it was dropped by Phillips over the rope for good measure. He fell LBW for 15 from 7, and all he could do as he left the ground was shout, "I hit a 6!" like some excited puppy.

Barker brought things to a close with Murray as we cruised home in the 17th over with 6 wickets to spare, finishing with a Barker 4.

It was a slightly odd game because we lost the toss, and they never really looked like putting a total together, but we still had fun and went to the pub. I reckon somewhere out there the openers are telling their wives or girlfriends that they had a great role in a 3 day test match. It didn't ruin the game, but lads, at some point you have to hit out or get out.

Tik-Tok-Tastic win for Jags

Jags 153-5 (Ant 40, Matt 39, Fardell 33) beat Cambourne 2's 140-9 (Abbott 40, Houlder 23, Mailes 3-19) by 13 runs.

MOTM - Fardell

This was one of those evening games that had pretty much everything and is exactly why we play this maddening sport. We were back at Queens (woohoo) for the first time this year and we had a strong XI for our first league fixture of the season. There was no possibility of bad weather, and we've played these chaps before in some nice competitive, good natured fixtures, so it was all set up to be a cracker, and it did not disappoint.

Matt won the toss and the tried and tested partnership with Ant got off to a contrasting start. Captain fantastic was struggling early on, but surviving, whilst Ant was off to an absolute flyer, tonking the ball this way and that, with a cow corner shot bisecting the fielders that I recall rather well, and a harumph of a six back down the ground, hit with all the disdain you might expect of the man who holds the record for "Most Just Eat Deliveries Ordered - Cambridgeshire - 2024". It was pretty much boundaries or dots early on, once we'd got off to quite a clip, being 57 without loss after 8 overs without loss, Matt found his stride, and then did a hilarious thing. He made Ant run. A lot. 2's, 3's, 1's, lots of them back to back.

Ant looked absolutely shattered, but kept going, and towards the end of a top 20/20 innings, he was just swinging. One fielder on the long on boundary just did not fancy it at all, Ant was sure he was out, but then realised he had to run some more as he'd not been caught out. He eventually fell, caught with a tired shot to Warburton and crawled off for 40 off 33 balls, and fairly chipper applause from the sidelines. It had been a monster innings, getting us to 79 without loss from 10 overs, to set up a great platform to hit 150+. Mailes went out to join Mr Parrish, who had found his range (as he often does) by hitting a monster 6. 

Did somebody say, unfit

The bowling had been rather mixed, some good stuff and some really not good stuff, often in the same over. One thing to note though, the guest wicket keeper for Cambourne was absolutely brilliant, showcasing the sort of glovework you rarely see in evening cricket. We had 3 keepers (Cob, Phillips and Matt) almost taking notes throughout. Chris struggled to get going, and fell to a tricky one top of off, bringing me out. Matt gave me a pep talk about not letting wickets tumble, and I defended my wicket with graceless shots the first two balls, before clipping a 4 off my toes to a generous legside one to get goin, after having also been gently coached and encouraged, genuinely, by the keeper. Cheers chap.

Matt wasn't around for much longer as we had, for the second game in a row, let Tyler umpire. He was only at square leg so what could possibly go wrong. Well. Matt called me through for a cheeky single, and old trigger finger was there again, ready to pounce and give the run out. Matt was less than happy, although Tyler was adamant. Still 39 from 30 balls, not too shabby. Phillips joined me for a fair bit, and both of us found a few boundaries, keeping out the good stuff and hitting the bad stuff. They had one left round bowler who was brought on to do some damage as he was quite good apparently. However,  with us being, both, 'ahem' less than orthodox, this proved to be manna from heaven, he just kept bowling me turny legside stuff which meant my wagon wheel could remain the pizza slice it always is without any real danger.

We then had a hilarious episode where a no ball garnered a free hit. The bench signalled for it. Phillips told me it was a free hit. Tyler did the twirly arm motion and the bowler delivered a nice full delivery. Which I plopped forward and gently did a forward defensive to. I will say that the reason was, I can be an absolute idiot sometimes (my wife would thoroughly agree with this). We then entered the period that I'm going to call the Phillips Spin Class - where, wherever the ball went off either of our bats, we were running. Singles, doubles, and a three where I turned down the fourth that was eminently on offer. At this point we were nearing the end, Phillips did a hilarous 4 where he stepped across his stumps and hoiked it to deep backward square.

Must keep running...

I then faced another free hit, I definitely knew about it this time, but I was 'not out' caught to it, so two free hits in one game pretty much wasted. At 149-3 I fell in the last over, run out without grounding my bat and off for a pint or two of water. Phillips and Barker finished us off getting us to a solid 153-5 in the end with Phillips falling at the death. It could have been more had two of our batsmen not been less than sprightly.

Bennet and Barker started things, and one of the Cambourne lads came out with a gopro on his helmet as he's doing a Tik Tok or something. At 42 I have lost interest in most things that aren't pipe and slippers and social media can get in the bin as far as I'm concerned. Camera lad hit a lovely four, before being bowled by Barker - and since he had a camera on his helmet, Barker gave him a right old send off as well so he can put it on his Myspace page or whatever. The other batsman edged one behind to Matt, but wasn't out - I don't think there was anything unsporting involved, he just didn't know he'd hit it and the umpire didn't give him.

Bennet then got the same batsman with an absolute belter of a catch, which was almost as good as Liam's last year. Tyler can, on occasion, let himself down in the catching department, but not it seems when it counts against his bowling figures. The opener absolutely creamed a fast one back at Tyler at ankle height, which he took cleanly inches from the turf. 

 

 Off his own bowling, Tyler would stop even this.

We had two batsmen at the crease and the new one gently started by chipping a ball to Phillips at covers, who promptly shelled it. It would prove a costly drop, as this lad played the best innings I think I've seen in evening cricket from there on in. He took a shine to everyone, probably most notably Barker, and hit two sixes, one of which was basically a forward defensive that just took off and hit the sight screen. He also hit a reverse slog sweep, deliberately, for 4, and was dropped by Mailes leaping like a South African salmon (which apparently was caught on camera by Mr Go Pro), for a tough chance at mid off. It was exhibition stuff all round.

Cob and Cooper did some fine work in the field that I recall, even I had a nice stop at square, and Cooper bowled an economic spell of controlled medium after some early looseners. Liam did some good stuff, but was nursing a sprain so had to look after himself. Mailes came in to bowl as well to try and arrest an accelerating partnership with his rapid stuff, replacing Bennet. 

I had yet another hilarious moment of the game, although this was more successful, as their number 3 clipped it to square leg and set off for a non-single. The run out was going to be straightforward whatever happened, but I made it anything but, slowly bowling the ball underarm on the floor towards the wicket keepers end (I am getting old). Matt had no idea what to do behind the stumps, so just waited, and hoped, and waited some more. Thankfully it eventually hit legstump, gently dislodged one bail, and the chap was out. This wasn't the dangerman mind, so we were still in trouble. 74-3 after 11 overs.

Despite the injury, Liam then came to the rescue, bowling a full yorker to the tricky chap, that would have hit probably 2/3 stumps, and was promptly given out LBW. He'd scored 40 off 24 in a devastating spell of really rather gorgeous looking batting. Liam had to limp off at this point, his body held together as it is at the moment with mainly hopes and dreams. Baker came into partner Mailes in bowling, and the new batting pair included the amazing keeper, who also, quelle surprise, turned out to be a cultured batsman, hitting some correct, but devastating 4's on his way to trying to get a decent partnership going with the Cambourne skipper, re-starting momentum going after a devastating double wicket blow.

Tyler did some fine work in the field that I recall, as he was keeping one over in the tank for the end. Mailes then extracted a wicket, top edged high to square leg for an easy catch for yours truly. I'd been, "in the game" shall we say. Baker got a wicket clean bowled, and Mailes extracted the classy keeper with another clean bowled just when he'd found his range. Mr Baker did some fine work in the deep here that I recall when not bowling, and Matt kept making good fielding adjustments to keep things sensible.

We then got a little complacent at this point, as wickets tumbled and the rate accelerated, 105-7 off 15 and it felt a hard ask for the tail. I wouldn't say we were sloppy in the field, but there wasn't the killer instinct you should maintain to be sure. Perhaps we were dreaming of the pub.

 

Where our minds were at 5 overs left.

Abdul had other ideas though, joining Mr Ashman for a spell, he decided that he would ensure they went down swinging, moving out of his crease to most balls and bludgeoning 4,4,2,4,1 in his first 5 balls. Mailes then bowled the other guy leg stump, to leave Abdul wanting not for intent, but for partners, with only two left. Still at 130-8 from 18, 22 runs separated the teams with Abdul on strike.

Bennet came back in and got a bit of tap from him, going for 9, but taking the other batsman last ball, leaving the equation at 139, 14 needed from the last over.

Cooper was tossed the cherry, and did his absolute best Chris Jordan impression, bowling an absolutely ridiculous last over, with the game in the balance to concede one run. One chuffing run. The Cambourne throng were even stood around the scoreboard waiting to keep the score ticking over, but they were underemployed. Credit to Paul in particular for not being put off by the aggressive footwork, and adjusting his length judiciously to Abdul's tricky antics. We call him whispering death.

They finished on 140, and in a slight seesaw innings, we saw lots of good stuff all round with many contributors and a solid start to life in league one.

We retired to the Red Bull, too late for food, but not for beer and a magnificent evening was then enhanced by Steve Mann turning up at the pub to improve the chat. Cob was handed his Jags cap and shirt and celebrated with a stogie.

The beard, the cigar, the cap, the shirt - we got this

Season Warmup - 2 fixtures summarised

I've neglected my match writing duties somewhat at the start of this season, as kids, work, life and all the associated vagaries of the world. Having said that, I love writing, and the biggest barrier is time, as these things take so chuffing long to churn out. So, this season, some weeks I will write a magnum opus, and some weeks, I'll go abbreviated, but I will get the things published in a timely fashion.

We've had two games so far and one called off, so this is a precis of how they went based on my hazy jane of a memory and some creative licence.

I'm also going to choose a man of the match based on pub chat.

Village People

Jags 102-7 (P Cooper 16, Brolia 15, Parrish 15, Nair 2-7), lost to Stapleford 103-5 (Minter 28*, Everson 26*, Purton 2-22 I think) by 3 wickets

MOTM - Ant

We went to a new ground in Stapleford, it had that village-y feel with a green and random kids playing football on the boundary and what not. The wicket was a bit odd, not terrible by any means, but some incredibly variable bounce which saw us lose a few wickets unfortunately. Light was a big factor as it was early May. We played a shortened format of 14-8s.

Matt and Ant opened and faced some challenging bowling on a variable wicket, so took a cautious line. They then both spanked it for a 4 and 6 before falling. Matt I think fell to a ball that randomly popped up for no reason and went to short square. Ant absolutely nailed a shot, straight at an off side fielder. I was in for a bit, scoring cheekily behind square (where else) before trying an awful mow to a straight one on middle and getting bowled.

Dan and Phillips moved around a bit, and did some things. I recall some very keen running between the wickets, and it was lovely to have Dan back. Both were bowled, I cannot recall the details to be honest. I'm getting old. My brain tells me that Phillips might have been a horrid ball that stayed at ankle height for no apparent reason. Brett was in then bowled, probably doing something technically perfect. 

Then Toby and P Cooper (now solely of this parish in cricket terms) put together a rescue job on a fast fading innings, scoring some nice shots, including a mammoth 6, preserving their wickets, and getting us where we needed to be. Cooper fell, and Savage popped in and scored a lovely edge to third man 4 and we got all the way to 102. 100 had looked out of reach mid innings, so this was something.

Brett started by bowling the first batsman for a golden duck, with his body held together with hope and dreams. Tyler partnered him with some good fast stuff. 2 and 3 batsmen were contrasting. One was very good, cultured and what not and the other survived somehow for ages, with both retiring with similar scores, but very contrasting visuals. 

Tyler went wicketless but had been respected. Savage twirled it about a bit next and bowled number 4. Purton came on and was, a bit more than rusty. He got a couple of wickets, including a golden though, so maybe rust is the way to go. I should add that Toby was so notable he is in the scorebook in two separate places as a bowler, once as "Purton" and once as "Toby". If they were two separate people and the scorebook is to be believed (always a tough one), 'Purton' had an awful bowling spell, but 'Toby' bowled pretty well.

Get some WD40 for Purton

Stapleford were on the rate. Cooper managed to bowl a pretty tidy spell, but they were home and hosed. The only other thing I vaguely remember was a batsman nailing a reverse sweep straight to one of our fielders.

I cannot recall the name of the pub, but it was a fine fine village offering. Nice beer, carbohydrate laden food and old furniture that looked like it had been pinched from a church.

Jags 121-7 (Parrish 25*, Brett 19, G  Baker 18, Coslett 17, Mani 2-15) beat Sharks 91-6 (Hugh 17, Marc 16, Jim 15, Jonathan 10-3) by 30 runs.

MOTM - Brett

Playing old friends at Kings, we were a tad short on numbers so Sharks kindly gave us Jonathan to help make it a nice game. Light was a factor again, so 15-8's was the order of the day. It was one of those days as an organiser where you spend all day getting messages about the weather, there was no way it should have gone ahead, and then it did.

Parrish and Ant started proceedings. Ant, before walking out, said something about not getting out to Mani. He then got out to Mani early, with a pre-meditated mow to the legside. Matt got to 25 in some very small amount of balls, 15 or so, was dropped once and just generally beasted it all around. Purton was in then caught. I did a little before being given out LBW by Mr Bennett, to a ball that possibly, maybe, in some alternative universe with different laws of physics might have possibly grazed a tiny bit of the leg stump bail. His finger went up, as it does, before anyone had even had a chance to appeal.

The badge Tyler wears whilst umpiring

If I could hit the ball with the wooden thing that help avoid this being an issue. Baker played some very nice stuff to help move things along, joined by Coslett who, as ever hit some absolutely classy shots for our first partnership. I think Coslett fell bowled to bring back Cob, who had un-retired himself from cricket like some sort of movie cop, for one last crack at the big time.

He and George kept it all moving, before I think Baker was stumped dancing down the wicket. Brett then put on a classy display of correct shots, Cob clubbed a sweep to cow corner for 4, and was shortly after just out going for a tight second (sorry mate, but you didn't make it). Tyler hit a nice legside backward pull 4, before falling bowled. Brett and Jonathan brought it home to 121 - which felt about par on a stodgy wicket.

Pat and Hugh opened for the Sharks, Pat hitting the ball nicely, and Hugh not doing that at all. Toby and Tyler had a great opening bowling spell, Toby having managed to shake off the cobwebs and returning to economic ways of being threatening. There was a nice run out of Pat, and our substitute then bowled a load of overs and was the pick of the bowling figures. He was joined by Brett who defied his aching bones to put on a great display, bowling two with balls that must have been hard to play as they bowled the batsmen. If you can remember the details, then well done you.

Sharks were a long way behind, the light was closing in, Jim hit some shots for them, and Jonathan bowled a maiden. These are all things I can tell you from reading the scorebook. Parrish stumped someone and Hugh finally got out after eating up 30 something balls for 17 runs. We then cruised home in economic style, mainly as Sharks never managed to push the scoring rate up. Many thanks to Jonathan for joining us.

Ant was notable in the field for saying "look, I'm smiling this is fun", and also as he wore a giant coat and clothes that made him look like an extra from TopBoy. 

The Red Bull was visited and pizza and beer were consumed. The menu has changed, and Matt had a hotdog which was significantly more bread than sausage, which doesn't feel like a great decision on the part of the chef.

Leys School Cancelled

This is a giant boo and sadness, because it's a lovely fixture, but mother nature indicated that we could not play this one on the allocated day.