After our last game against Cambourne, we went to the pub and had a pint and a burger. I ate burgers how I have eaten burgers in a restaurant since I was a child, and Matt was utterly shocked at how I do it. So here is the story behind the beer and burger.
Brown and yellow bits = good / green, red and purple bits = bad
I'm quite habitual in nature. Doing things over and over again that I like, in the way that I like, makes me happy. Some people put this down as weird, ADHD or whatever. I figure if it makes you happy and doesn't harm anyone else, then keep on doing it, sport.
This habitual thing used to work quite well when it came to batting in cricket for me. It may well work again, who knows. I enjoy it though, it worked before, so I'll keep doing it.
A long time ago in Devon when I was 7 we went on a family holiday to Torbay, near Paignton. This was the 80's, and eating out and takeaway food was much less prevalent than it is now. We ate everything home or school cooked, other than the occasional takeaway fish and chips. It was a different time, and for people of a certain vintage, this will feel familiar. When I explain it to youngsters, they seem to think I must have been Oliver Twist's twin brother. Kids nowadays with their Tik Toks, and their YouTube, and their total absence of rickets - they don't know they're born. We had no mobile phones, 4 TV channels and smoking was still cool.
Going on holiday was the first time I had encountered a sit down restaurant. Choosing what you want from a menu as a treat, it was new and exciting and unexpected. This was to be my first burger and chips. In the restaurant of the hotel we were staying in, which I think was called the Inn on the Green.
The burger turned up, as these things do, with lots of salad in it, much like the picture above. I was 7. I didn't want the salad. What child of that age thinks, yummy, time for some nice organic lettuce. So I asked my Mum if I could remove it from the burger. Using her top drawer parenting skills: she knew if she said no, there was a good chance I wouldn't eat the burger; if she said yes, I was missing out on vital nutrients essential for my development. So she compromised (the key to all parenting, in my experience) and said - you can take the salad out of the burger as long as you eat everything on your plate.
So this is what I did. I removed the lettuce, tomato and gherkin and re-assembled my burger without the rabbit food bit. I ate each of the salad like things, warmed by the burger, individually. I then really really enjoyed the burger and chips, essentially inhaling both without chewing. I have done this with certain foods ever since. My brain tells me that if I eat the thing I don't like, and finish with the thing I do, I will be happy. So that is what I do.
This habit also plays into my core Britishness - I want to order the thing off the menu with the minimum of fuss. I find the idea of talking to a waiter and saying, "can you customise my burger by removing the gherkin" confrontational and threatening in a socially awkward way. So I don't want to do it. I'd much rather order the thing as it is, then "fix" it on my plate, whilst also disposing of the evidence that I have corrected the salad like injustice the chef has decided to impose upon my palate.
If this makes me weird, then I am happy to be weird.
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