We Won! We Won!

Jagex 181-3 (Colledge 33*, Edwards 30*, Fardell 30*, Nigri 25) beat S-Tech 147-7 (Jack 31*, Sam 30*, Broadbridge 26-3) by 34 runs

Jagex finally secured a first win of the season in a competitive game at Queens. The weather was incredible again, and the field was dry with a thoroughly baked flat track, full of runs.

This week we had not one, not two but three spectators. Jamy's beau, Laura, Sophie Butlin and Matthias from localisation. Before the game there was some slight oddity, insofar as S-Tech had brought a large corporate banner with them, and we all posed for pre-match photos. They also seem to have a fairly aggressive graduate recruitment policy, as a number of their team looked young enough that they couldn't have yet graduated, let alone have taken up the exciting career of insurance broking. Either that, or S-Tech has a great discount deal with L'Oreal, keeping everyone fresh faced.

Nice, and strange at the same time. Maybe we should invest in a Jagex banner?!

Jagex won the toss and elected to bat, with Colledge and Fardell starting at a reasonably fast lick, plundering 32 runs from the first 4 overs, and not offering any real chances to the fielders. The bowling was good in parts, and very good in others, but the track was dry as the Sahara, and anything short of a good length sat up, begging to be hit. Fardell retired on 30 by the sixth over, having biffed the ball Tino Best style to the far corners of the ground.

This brought Edwards to the crease. He continued his run of good form, but had also brought his lucky rabbit's foot with him again, as he would be dropped several times going over the top. Colledge retired on 33, and his boundaries had an altogether more cultured air than the walloping that Fardell had displayed. He managed to score 16 from one over, which in 20-20 is a frightening way to deflate the opposition early on.

Colledge's retirement brought Piers Morgan in to join Edwards for a while. He was clearly here for a good time, not a long time, as he was bowled for 1 after facing a few balls. Apparently he hadn't had the most joyous of days at work either. #sadface. At least he had Sophie for company on the sidelines to entertain and amuse - and use her unique brand of French encouragement, with phrases like "oh (French Accent)!" and "that's good, isn't it?!". She even found the time to explain to Matthias how cricket works. At the risk of sounding a little bit racist, there is something not quite right about a French Lady telling a German Man how an English Sport works. Anyway - if this is racist, let's file it in the acceptable 'folkesy racism' category, and swiftly move on.

Continuing the international theme, Jamy Nigri, one of our two resident yanks, was also sat in the stands, entertaining the assembled masses, and offering early encouragement with unintelligible gems like "hum baby, hum baby" and "keep cricketing". The MCC, this is not. Morgan's departure brought Jamy to the crease. Initially he tried to get himself run out, by staying quiet as a mouse but jogging away from his popping crease whenever he fancied a stretch. When he was on strike, the field and batsmen weren't sure what to make of his stance; standing about two feet outside leg stump and holding his bat around shoulder height. The first ball he faced was full and straight, and was walloped to cow corner. The next ball was a carbon copy. If you did a wagon wheel of Jamy's scoring zones, it would look a bit like a narrow slice of Dairylea placed between midwicket and long on. Hit me with your best shot, Pat Benatar.

Edwards and Nigri then clopped along at a reasonable pace for a while. Edwards continued in his insistence on offering catches, but was repeatedly dropped, and played some nice shots. At the halfway stage, 99 runs on the board and 10 overs gone with 1 wicket down, a massive score looked on the cards. Nigri was eventually bowled on 25, when S-Tech felt compelled to turn to their best bowler on the night, Tom, to extract the American. McClarty strolled out to help things, with Edwards almost insistent on carrying his bat for the evening. Neil took a while to get going, and played a number of practice strokes before getting his eye in and hitting a few boundaries.

Neil was eventually given out LBW to one that didn't bounce and didn't hit his bat, and looked like it was hitting halfway up middle stump from my position as square leg umpire. Sadly our games don't have a hawk-eye, but Neil made the signal anyway. The really good thing is that he didn't complain about the decision at all. No sirree bob. He definitely didn't say, "come on", "I hit it" and, "you've got to be kidding me", nor did he loiter for ages in the middle, incredulous at the decision. 

His departure brought Brett in, with his customary helmet. He was joined by Amoraal as Edwards retired with a few balls left. Brett and Amoraal traded places with a couple of singles, and then Brett hit 6, 4, 6 from the last three balls of the match, leaving Jagex with our highest ever total - 181. It was a fine finish, and gave Brett his first runs for us this season.

Verma opened the bowling, with his usual pacy and enthusiastic action. Lait opened from the other end, and was also a handful, but both S-Tech batsmen were technically correct, negotiating the full balls and dispatching those that were short and/or wide. Nigri was our stand in keeper behind the stumps, and was trying to control his 'trash talk' as much as possible. It's hard for him to maintain anything resembling silence for any length of time, so bravo my friend for at least trying. For a bit.

Broadbridge was our first change, and instantly made the difference. His second ball was loopier than a ride at the fairground, and having faced fast and skiddy bowling, this was all too much for the batsman, who got confused, allowed his stumps to be gently nudged by the ball, and then fell over. Paul is a man who is not afraid of giving it some air, big air, Tony Hawk style.

Mr Misfield was briefly back to visit us last week. As one ball was mis-fielded I decided that, contrary to all accepted psychological practice, negative reinforcement is actually better than positive, and required the next mis-field-er to buy both teams a beer. I was actually guilty of the next misfield myself, and the irony isn't lost on me. The best mis-field of the evening was Willem, who managed to dance around a ball like a drunk guy getting his groove on at a disco, turning 1 into 4.

Following this, Willem came on to bowl and extracted the other opener with his first ball, forcing a false shot, and seeing the safe hands of Lait hold the chance at mid on. Amoraal bowled a variety of lines and lengths, just to keep the batsmen guessing. His good balls were cracking, and his economy figures look fairly good, but he loves a pie as well. Broadbridge did exactly the same thing in his second and third overs, taking a wicket in each with a ball that collected snow on it's way up, took an age to come down, but was unerringly accurate. Jamy had to avoid a ball played directly at him from one batsman, and in that moment realised that actually this isn't a game for cissies in white clothes, people do get hurt, and it is really manly. Really manly.

McClarty distinguished himself in the field, as did Broadbridge, both stopping boundaries. The batsmen were keen runners, so tighter fielding was key to keep the scoring in check. I also recall good chases from Lait, Verma and Colledge, and overall this was a good performance in the field, which makes a helluva difference at this level.

Two S-Tech batsmen then pulled together a decent partnership, taking a few runs off Broadbridge, Amoraal, and later Piers Morgan. Brett came in for a couple of overs of off-spin, and bowled some tight lines to keep things under some control. With these two batsmen in the middle though, S-Tech were threatening to chase down Jagex's gargantuan total. Thankfully, both had to retire eventually, and when they did, Piers Morgan extracted a replacement with some decent verve. It was two wickets in one, as the batsman edged it, it clipped his leg stump and Jamy held it behind the stumps. In truth Jamy had a good game wicket keeping, dealing with leg-side stuff well and holding everything pacy. He did drop a skier though.

Fardell then turned to Edwards in place of Brett, and continuing his fine form with both bat and ball this season, Juzzy secured another wicket. Fardell set an unorthodox field with Willem somewhere between short backward point and slightly-closer-than-I'd-like-to-be gully. Thankfully Juzzy saw where Willem was, pushed one high outside off, and the ball popped straight to him from the bat. He caught it cleanly, but the deer-in-the-headlights look on his face suggested that he didn't know a whole lot about it.

Fardell and Jamy then engaged in a spot of internal trash talking. I took to describing Jamy's talk as a bit like the Chat House, but it's not a whole lotta fun. I think English 80's and 90's kids TV references were lost on him (and others) seeing as he grew up in Texas. What I wouldn't give for a Pat Sharp voice-over and Melanie and Martina turning up to support us one game.

Fardell finished the game with an almost wicket maiden, bowling three dots, before Jamy stumped the batsman with two balls left in the game. The last batsmen ruined the dream of a final over wicket maiden in 20-20, scoring two runs, but we're ok with that. The last over was also notable for seeing Neil "The Cat" McClarty, pull off a great diving stop at short cover to help preserve Fardell's figures for the season. In truth he's been one of our stand-out fielders all season, so we expect nothing less.

A decent victory in the end, although S-Tech put on quite a total and their big partnership in the middle gave them a real chance of chasing things down. Thankfully for Jagex, decent bowling and discipline in the field helped to arrest the scoring rate and keep things manageable. It was a game played in exactly the right spirit, and was followed by beers and more quiche and chicken skewers from the wonderful Enzo in the Jagex canteen.

I'm very happy we won, so, altogether now, "I'm walking on Sunshine... wooah, and don't it feel good". Katrina and the Waves, you still rock in my book.

It's a naff photo, but it's all we've got. Even the chicken skewer made an appearance.

Jagex Gazumped by Property Peeps

Savills 135-1 (Simkins 27*, Bailey 25*, Lait 1-22) beat Jagex 134-6 (Fardell 40*, Van Daal 28*, Verma 26*, Bailey 27-2) by 9 wickets

Let's start with the good news first. It was really sunny. I mean, a proper scorcher. The other goods news was Enzo was back on duty in the Jagex kitchen, and we've all come to know that this means, ace tea. Cracking chicken skewers. Quiche. Lots of dip. Rustic bread with real fillings. Enzo, my man, your tea is so good, we feel like you are out there on the field with us as a kind of food carrying 12th man/cheerleader.

Now the bad news. We lost again. This isn't our biggest losing streak ever, but one more game and it will be. Savills, the really big estate agents, were the oppo this evening. They were inadvertently aided by several Jagexer's cancelling at the last possible minute. I'm going to have a word with several people's line managers and ensure they are on toilet cleaning duty at some point in the next week - or whatever the web/computer game equivalent is - like QA'ing tic tac toe on the midnight shift.

Anyway we won another toss and decided to bat. Fardell and Colledge got things going at a brisk pace with 27 plundered from the first 4 overs, mainly courtesy of the hard flashing hands of Fardell, who quite literally had a swing at everything. Some runs were genuine biffs that went were I intended, others were scored over the solitary slip to third man when I had cow corner in my sights. Colledge took a while to get going, hit a nice four square, and then got out to a nice catch at short cover. He'd been carrying an injury as well, but had manfully stepped up and played anyway when other, lesser, men had chickened out because, "they were busy". At such times is the measure of a man judged.

Van Daal came in and opened his batting in curious style, jumping to leg away from a ball, and offering no shot, leaving it to miss leg stump by a fraction. He looked me square in the eye immediately after and said, "oh dear, I won't be doing that again". After a couple of sighters, he got going, and was joined by Brett for company when Fardell retired on 25. Brett only lasted two balls. Pretty much the same as last week, one lovely forward defensive, and one wild swipe that was caught behind. To be fair the bowling was consistently pretty good. Brett's friend, Mr Phillips, joined us sportingly late in the day. He encouraged Van Daal to have a go, and have a go he did, scoring with some unorthodox shots to, well, pretty much anywhere he fancied. He's no respecter of the quality of the bowling. If he fancies hitting one, he just hits it. He did manage to get 5 overthrows, courtesy of the square leg umpire (Fardell) tactically distracting the square leg fielder (some dude).

Phillips unfortunately was caught going straight back over the bowler's head by one that stuck in the pitch a bit, meaning our three weekend batsmen on the evening had scored a grand total of 7 runs. This brought Lait to the crease. He manfully tried to fend off the good stuff, only to see an in-swinger destroy his middle stump, so no 250 strike rate this week. This brought Love Verma to the crease. Hitherto known for his pacy bowling, he took a while to get going, and then hit several wonderful shots, including a hoick to cow corner where he seems to play the shot in two motions: bringing the bat towards the ball in an arc, stopping dead still; and then initiating the second shot that actually does the damage. He can hit it so hard, he actually cracked Simon Lait's "£30 from Sports Direct" bat.

Amoraal kept him company for a while, hitting 3 fours in basically the same spot, before he was bowled by another good one. His swinging and connecting is really a sight to behold, I fear for the ball, the bat and the cows. Broadbridge then was out in the middle for a bit, playing and missing a few sighters before absolutely middling one over extra cover, and then another, before being bowled.

This brought Fardell back to the crease, and saw Love retire on 26*. Fardell and Van Daal propelled the scoreboard to a defendable 134 with several shots over midwicket. Van Daal once more did his little crazy South African bunny hop to leg. Fardell finished on 40*, by some miracle on 34th street. The bowling this week was, once more, top notch, with few loose balls. The track was playing very true though, as Queens is apt to do, so there are runs in it if you get lucky.

Amoraal opened the bowling, but struggled in his length and offered a few half trackers in his 2 over spell to allow their batsmen an easy start.

With 9 fielders and an occasional sub, it was going to be a tough ask to plug the gaps. It was going to be even tougher given that we had Mr Misfield helping the opposition out this evening. Brett bowled the other end, and saw Van Daal not once, but twice, allow an easy stop for one run, race on past him for 4. One of the balls actually sped up as it went through him: I literally have no idea how that is physically possible. The other he only avoided by contorting like Neo from the original Matrix. Love replaced Amoraal and continued in his quest to be the most economic bowler in Cambridge evening 20/20 cricket history with a brilliant 4 over spell, conceding only 20 runs. He really deserved a wicket as well, and we're gutted he didn't get one.

Amoraal got in on the misfield action, stepping over one like a proper footballer. I mentioned something to him about fatness and maybe trying out spin class, and he genuinely looked like he was going to chin me. I ran away in fear, taking a deeper fielding position. Running is a great defence to an Amoraal attack...

All of their batsmen were looking accomplished except one, who had played and missed about 12 dots. Fardell, in a piece of inspired captaincy designed to bring us from a 10 wicket spanking down to a, well, 9 wicket pummelling, brought on Lait. He bowled some cracking lines, and after some persistence, patience, another misfield (this time from Love) and some poor encouragement, he got the batsman to hoick one to Fardell at short midwicket.

Fardell then let it all get to him, choosing Broadbridge (great choice) and Colledge (not so much) to tie down both ends with spin. Broadbridge did well. Colledge, deserved much better, but he got carted for 18 from his one over to leave it all but lost. Fardell tried to introduce some sledging at the end, calling the departing low scorer a dot warrior. I tried some fishing metaphors. I tried calling Power of Love. No one smiled. No one laughed. The game even finished on a wide.

In the depressing words of The Boss, Bruce Springsteen, "No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle. No flowers, no wedding dress". Losing streaks are depressing.

Next week we have S-Tech, a more winnable game, not least as it brings the power of Jamy Nigri back to the team - possibly the only American ever to play cricket and not suck at it. I am willing to stand by this statement, and am prepared for the hate-mail.

Jagex Blitzed by Bidwells Batting Brigade

Bidwells 137-2 (Moore 27*, A. Scott 25*, P Morgan 13-1) beat Jagex 136-8 (Van Daal 19, P Morgan 17*, Edwards 17, W. Scott 17-2) by 8 wickets.

Jagex succumbed to their annual defeat to the property gents at Bidwells in the pleasant environs of Trinity Old Field after posting our best total of the season so far.

Jagex won the toss (Hoorah!) and decided to open the batting. Fardell and Jones got the innings off to a blistering start, partially courtesy of their secret weapon, Mr Extras. Fardell snuck a cheeky single in and then a four to deep third man to get us started. Jones, not to be outdone, took the second ball he faced on and skipped down the tracking, presented the full face of the bat and drove sweetly through extra cover for four. 29 without loss after four overs, and a solid start, so good in fact it force the Bidwells captain to bring himself on to try and tighten things up.

This was a good move as he managed to get one to pitch short, skid on a not bounce at all, taking out Jones at the bottom of middle stump. Fardell kept things going with Jeroen for company, sneaking a nice four to fine leg. He did try to run himself out in the process, and was given sort of not out, by stand-in umpire Love - who chose to give him not out by giving the out signal and shaking his head at the same time. I also survived a pretty plum pudding LBW decision which I thought for all money had me. Fardell fell to a slightly poor shot, trying to sweep a wide one to square he toe ended it straight up in the air to the short fielder.

Out strolled Brett. His first shot was a perfect, textbook forward defensive. His next was gently guided to gully, as nicely as you like. Jeroen kept things going with a couple of nice fours and some keen running. He was joined by Juzzy for decent partnership, before eventually falling with the highest Jagex score on the evening, bowled for 19. Juzzy and Piers kept things rolling, although Juzzy survived longer than might be expected courtesy of some truly atrocious fielding. He chipped one high to short backward point, the fielder shooed the wicket keeper away and then dropped a dolly.

Piers took a while to rack up a score, but the running and extras meant we were never really losing momentum. Edwards eventually fell for 17, keeping up his fine form this season with bat and ball. Cooper then strolled out with a piece of timber so ancient and fossilized, that it may be used as the source of dinosaur DNA for the next Jurassic Park movie. As ever he made sure that runs were ticking over nicely, pushing hard for Piers and letting few dot balls cloud the score-book. Cooper eventually fell, bowled by some decent bowling from a Mr Sweeney, who went down in the score-book as Sweeney Todd, for reasons unknown.

Amoraal joined Piers for a little bit, but sadly fell to a duck, bowled by the fine lines of the returning Bidwells Captain. Then out strolled Simon "Milky Au" Lait. He pinched strike, leaving Jagex with 118 on the board and 6 balls to go. Bosh, 4, bash, 6 and biff, 4, were his response to this meagre total, all scored in an arc between square leg and backward square. When he well bowled, Love strolled out, patted one down and then hit a nice high four to square, leaving us with a much more defendable 136. It had been a quick outfield and some short boundaries, 136 felt a little short, if not a catastrophe. It was a good performance though, not least as everyone struggled to score against the Bidwells' Captain, with his pacy accurate bowling and tricky lines earning him two wickets, and 17 runs conceded from his four over spell.

The umpiring had been a little bit IPL for my liking, with anything down leg being called wide. Jones strapped on the pads and prepared to deal with the wides and leg-side stuff with the grim look of expectation that a keeper occasionally has before strolling out.

The two Bidwells opening batsmen looked really solid, both lefties with great technique. Love opened the bowling and got some skiddy trajectory and low movement. We saw the odd ball tickled to fine leg or third man for four, but did well to keep the numbers down. Fardell stopped a smashed early on with the famed sliding foot technique. Piers was very tight in his early spell, and his figures were aided by some ace fielding from Brett, stopping some smashed balls in close with great technique. He was slightly less effective when dropped to deep mid off, dropping a very difficult chance that was hit flat towards him. Piers was eventually was rewarded with a wicket, bowling one of the openers with a nice straight full ball.

Brett came on for Love in the first change, having seen a lot of action. He bowled some nice lines and was unfortunate not to be rewarded in his first over, when a batsman took him on, just before retiring, and clumped the ball just over Fardell's head at shortish mid-off. Lait came on for Piers and bowled fantastically, conceding 16 or 17 runs (depending which part of the score-book you read) for one wicket from 3 overs. The wicket was a genuine LBW, having outdone the batsman with a few balls, he got one to swing in and thud into his back leg, as plum as you like. He then did a wonderful thing, just before delivering his slower ball he decided to cough and snort loudly, a bit like a footballer clearing his nose, whilst running in to deliver. I hope he is available for poker games with the fellas and he likes a gamble, because it is a real William Tell of a bluff indicator.

Cooper came in a didn't have his best spell, seeing two overs go for 26 runs. Another batsman retired and Brett dropped a scorcher between point and cover - it would have been catch of the season if he'd made it. Fardell didn't get to a skier that he should have made and some of the fielding, while enthusiastic, lacked the cutting edge, and crucially catches, that would have put the opposition under pressure and taken a few wickets.

Juzzy came in for Lait, and also didn't have his tightest lines, but at this point the game was all but lost and the batsmen were just having some fun, swinging at everything. The only bright moment came when Gibbins strolled in to bowl, and almost got a maiden, only conceding one in his first over. If only I'd brought him in earlier! The game finished with three overs to spare, and eight wickets in hand, so something of a smashing, despite this being our best total of the season.

Afterwards there was another calamity, no beer. A nice tea and some cakes, followed by some post match banter did help round things off somewhat. Willem made sure that I knew he hadn't bowled, and if he had, we would have won by miles, as he would have given me one, two and three wicket maidens for sure from his three overs (but most certainly not his fourth). One to note for next week. Jones had done very well behind the stumps to concede only 2 byes, although in common with the opposition, we had conceded two many extras.

Catches win matches, and we didn't make any in this game, so that, and a slightly below par total are probably where this was lost. Also, all 6 of the opposition batsmen we got to see could bat brilliantly, and I know two of their players he didn't make it out to the centre who are equally tip top. If we keep this up and we may need to stop calling ourselves the Jaguars, and instead choose a more timid animal.

If this is the bad part of our season, then I'm hoping to see the sunshine after the rain...

The Joys of Village Cricket

This article on Cricinfo was passed to me by a friend, and I must say it made me laugh out loud (or LOL, as the young un's amongst us might say).

http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/647171.html

 
Well worth a read. There are many teams up and down the land for whom this will all be frighteningly familiar.

Preview - Jagex Sixes - Sunday 7 July

From 11-7 on Sunday 7th July at Queens and Robinson College Sports Ground, we are running a charity sixes tournament in aid of the wonderful local charity, Red Balloon. 

http://www.redballoonlearner.co.uk/

Red Balloon is a charity that helps with the support of bullied children, including providing conducive learning environments and support. I'd encourage you to have a look at their website and read about, and see if you can help.

We already have a full roster of players and teams, but there will be boules, badminton, beer and possibly kwik cricket and hopefully sunshine. There will also be a raffle which promises some decent prizes and some sort of awards for the winners, possibly involving school sports day style medals: what's not to like? It should also be a child friendly event for those with children. Deloitte, Mills & Reeve, Sharks and Jagex have all kindly agreed to field teams.

For those of you who aren't familiar with sixes, it's probably one of the more accessible forms of cricket for a non-traditional audience. A good friend of mine recent described sixes tournaments as "booze fueled biff, bosh and bash fests", which I think sums it up quite nicely.

Below is a traditional sixes shot - note the complete lack of technique, the distance between the ball and the bat, the head looking towards the leg-side boundary more in hope than expectation, the top of middle stump gently pushed back and, most brilliantly, the closed eyes. You don't need your eyes to hit a ball, apparently.

In a better display of technique, here is a picture of my favourite cricketer, Shahid Afridi thumping one in the direction of cow corner. Not his trade mark "Boom Boom" bat.

Here's hoping for a good day, with lots of fun and some money raised for a good cause.

Jagex v Deloitte - 27 June 2013

There were several reasons for this game being called off, but I'm going to mainly blame Michael Fish for telling me it was going to be sunny...

It has recently occurred to me that inventing and playing a sport that is weather dependent is fine if you live in Barbados, but not so much if you live in England. This is obviously a fairly stunning revelation of pure originality.

Smile you son of a B*&ch!

Sharks 119-4 (MVS 25*, Michael 25*, Jim 25*, Broadbridge 14-2) beat Jagex 116-9 (P Morgan 19, S Morgan 17, Jason 14-3)by 6 wickets.

Jagex continued the losing streak that has characterised the start of every one of our seasons, with our third consecutive loss, against the Sharks, a team we really know how to lose to.

Juzzy took the toss on behalf of Fardell and chose to bat, a wise decision, although once more weather conditions were rubbish. We were at least afforded the benefit of a nice pitch this week, with Queens and Robinson College Sports Ground affording us a backdrop so twee and English, it seems tailor-made for cucumber sandwiches, Pimms and shouts of Huzzah from Captain Flashheart.

Simon Lait opened the batting with Piers Morgan (who shall henceforth by known as just Piers, a bit like Just William, but more mischievous). Simon had looked great with the willow in the nets, and so it proved in the first over, when he hit a nice four straight back over/through the bowler with his very dodgy sounding piece of timber - no doubt acquired from Sports Direct at a bargain price. Sadly he pinched strike at the end of the over and was greeted with a half track pie. In common with several other batsmen on the evening he decided the best thing to do with a bad ball was to gently tip this square, where the square leg fielder took an easy catch. Rarely has a bowler less deserved a wicket with a ball.

Piers then got going with Lamble to keep him company, although the weather was not batting conducive, with a fine mist of drizzle and some actual rain threatening to end proceedings. This caused Piers to lose his footing more than once, and he slipped and slid around like the Jamaican Bobsled Team, losing singles and his pride in the process. Before long Lamble and Piers struck some lusty blows, a nice four to square from Lamble and some hoicks from Piers, including one that apparently went for 6, according to the score book at least.

After 3 nice fours, Lamble was bowled trying to hoick across the line to one of the better bowlers. At this point it stopped raining, but Piers was still resolute in his mission to entertain us all with his falling over antics. He even hit a shot to long off, cursed "no" nice and loudly and then trotted through for a single. Thankfully his new partner Juzzy Edwards was alert and backed him up. Juzzy has looked in nice touch so far this season, and so it proved here with a small partnership building up a head of steam, including some nice genuine cricket shots, in particular one that involved foot movement, a straight bat and a ball driven sweetly back past the bowler. There was also a spot of comedy fielding, with two Sharks converging on a skier, and both deciding to leave it alone, and some interesting throwing in the direction of, erm, nothing, to allow some overthrows to bolster the score. The wicket keeper got in on the action, running round the stumps, shoeing others away, and then dropping a dolly.

Piers eventually fell, caught at backward square. It was actually quite a nice shot, and on any other day would have got four. Sadly he managed to pick out AB, one of Sharks' star players, who was fielding in a slightly unorthodox/inspired position of 3/4 backwards square. Cooper was bumped up the order and helped keep Juzzy keen by pushing for runs before he was clean bowled by a peach of a yorker. Juzzy then ticked along with Willem for company for a while, before he too was caught, in short, from a ball that got a little big on him. Fardell strolled to crease and snuck a suicidal single first ball. Willem was very keen to run though, and helped push Fardell's next streaky bacon of a shot to deep third man up from the 2 runs it deserved, to the 3 runs it didn't.

Sadly Fardell had been watching the terrible batting on display. Shark's Jason is a spin bowler who gives it a bit of air, and he bowled another pie. Fardell, gently as you like, picked out the man at leg gully with possibly the worst shot of the evening. I even took the pace off the ball for the fielder: what a gent. McClarty joined Amoraal, hit a nice four, and then did exactly the same thing as Fardell two balls previously. Gibbons came in, swung, and gave us our second golden duck of the season (altogether how, quack quack).

Things looked dire, and Jagex were in serious danger, at 8 wickets down, of not posting 100. Out strolled Steve "Hero" Morgan to partner Amoraal. Between the two of them they pushed Jagex's score to a respectable, but difficult to defend 116, when it had been lingering at 85. Steve hit a particularly nice four over wide mid on, and a cracking snick to wide fine leg which was so good that the fielder just let it go through him and over the rope. Willem had been in the middle for some time, but was still pushing the pace and chasing the singles, much to his credit. After three fours and the second top score of the evening, Steve was run out. Willem finally hit a four (altogether now, Huzzah!) and Broadbridge kept him company for the last couple of balls. 116-9 at the turn, probably not enough, but a lot better than it had looked with 4 overs to go.

The Sharks batsmen were canny, and realising the total was gettable if they kept wickets in hand, they batted very sensibly. Fardell was stand in wicket keeper as Tween was visiting a Cannabis Factory (in all seriousness, he was, that's his new job and it isn't even illegal) and Jones was in Coventry to see Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen throw out 3 hours of tunes at the ripe old age of 66. Fardell did his best, but honestly gents, it's a really hard position. The score book reckons there were only 3 byes, so I'll take that.

Cooper and Lamble opened the bowling. Both did well, economic and quality lines, but the batsmen waited for the odd ball of width, and then dispatched it. The only scare was that one overly excited Sharks batsman was trying to do a Piers, and fell over several times in search of impossible singles. Thankfully for him, he mostly feel over in the popping crease before he'd actually got anywhere. His partner scowled in his general direction a couple of times, which was about as exciting as it got from our perspective in the first 10 or so overs.

Our fielding carried on in the positive vein of this season, with Broadbridge, Simon Lait, McClarty and Edwards distinguishing themselves in the field. Steve came in to bowl and pulled a couple of very decent overs out of the bag, but the batsmen were both content to tick along, take it easy and just slowly accumulate, Jonathan Trott style. One opener retired after a thoroughly respectable and restrained innings, 25 from 32 balls showing the necessary pace. The next batsman continued in the same vein, albeit that he was more willing to have a go than his predecessor.

Piers then came in and bowled some really tight lines, but nothing was happening. At this point I knew, we just didn't have enough runs. Everyone had bowled superbly, and the fielding had been ace, but with a low total it is just tough unless the batsmen take risks, and credit to them, they were batting very sensibly. I tried to gee people up by introducing a sledging contest shortly after batsman 3 retired and finally we had the desired result, with Willem bowling a peach just outside off, the batsman swinging and short third man picking it out of the air. Cue ecstatic celebrations, our first wicket in the 14th over. Suddenly the volume increased and the sledging came out. McClarty made a terrible Yo Momma joke in my general direction, something like "your momma so wet...". I shan't finish the line, and am still terribly unamused.

Several people then picked up on some top fielding by Simon Lait and started calling him Milky. It took me a while to get this, along with Milkybar Kid, Cafe au Lait and Full Fat. I can be a bit slow at times. Edwards came into bowl and was, almost literally, on fire, bowling some exquisite lines and getting a maiden first over. He ended up going for 12 from 3, and really would have turned the game in a closer encounter. Fardell then turned to Broadbridge, and saw some lovely twirly arm action and a nice bit of turn, with a wicket falling, and the faint whiff of hope re-entering the air.

Then followed a hilarious run out, with Lamble picking up the ball and pinging it to Fardell with both batsmen dawdling in the middle. Fardell didn't take it cleanly, instead Fosbury flopping onto the deck and fumbling and flapping around with the large gloves that keepers are forced to wear. Thankfully the batsman had given up on preserving his wicket, so Fardell eventually broke the stumps. Lamble described him as Beached Whale. Thanks, Ralph.

Broadbridge then scored another wicket at the death (why on earth didn't I bowl him earlier?). The field came in and the batsman did the necessaries, hitting four with about 10 balls to spare.

A good fielding and bowling performance, but too low a total. Some people might say we were trounced. I like to think that we actually rescued a respectable beating from a potential shoeing. In the immortal words of Yazz, the only way is up.