Sharks 119-4 (MVS 25*, Michael 25*, Jim 25*, Broadbridge 14-2) beat Jagex 116-9 (P Morgan 19, S Morgan 17, Jason 14-3)by 6 wickets.
Jagex continued the losing streak that has characterised the start of every one of our seasons, with our third consecutive loss, against the Sharks, a team we really know how to lose to.
Juzzy took the toss on behalf of Fardell and chose to bat, a wise decision, although once more weather conditions were rubbish. We were at least afforded the benefit of a nice pitch this week, with Queens and Robinson College Sports Ground affording us a backdrop so twee and English, it seems tailor-made for cucumber sandwiches, Pimms and shouts of Huzzah from Captain Flashheart.
Simon Lait opened the batting with Piers Morgan (who shall henceforth by known as just Piers, a bit like Just William, but more mischievous). Simon had looked great with the willow in the nets, and so it proved in the first over, when he hit a nice four straight back over/through the bowler with his very dodgy sounding piece of timber - no doubt acquired from Sports Direct at a bargain price. Sadly he pinched strike at the end of the over and was greeted with a half track pie. In common with several other batsmen on the evening he decided the best thing to do with a bad ball was to gently tip this square, where the square leg fielder took an easy catch. Rarely has a bowler less deserved a wicket with a ball.
Piers then got going with Lamble to keep him company, although the weather was not batting conducive, with a fine mist of drizzle and some actual rain threatening to end proceedings. This caused Piers to lose his footing more than once, and he slipped and slid around like the Jamaican Bobsled Team, losing singles and his pride in the process. Before long Lamble and Piers struck some lusty blows, a nice four to square from Lamble and some hoicks from Piers, including one that apparently went for 6, according to the score book at least.
After 3 nice fours, Lamble was bowled trying to hoick across the line to one of the better bowlers. At this point it stopped raining, but Piers was still resolute in his mission to entertain us all with his falling over antics. He even hit a shot to long off, cursed "no" nice and loudly and then trotted through for a single. Thankfully his new partner Juzzy Edwards was alert and backed him up. Juzzy has looked in nice touch so far this season, and so it proved here with a small partnership building up a head of steam, including some nice genuine cricket shots, in particular one that involved foot movement, a straight bat and a ball driven sweetly back past the bowler. There was also a spot of comedy fielding, with two Sharks converging on a skier, and both deciding to leave it alone, and some interesting throwing in the direction of, erm, nothing, to allow some overthrows to bolster the score. The wicket keeper got in on the action, running round the stumps, shoeing others away, and then dropping a dolly.
Piers eventually fell, caught at backward square. It was actually quite a nice shot, and on any other day would have got four. Sadly he managed to pick out AB, one of Sharks' star players, who was fielding in a slightly unorthodox/inspired position of 3/4 backwards square. Cooper was bumped up the order and helped keep Juzzy keen by pushing for runs before he was clean bowled by a peach of a yorker. Juzzy then ticked along with Willem for company for a while, before he too was caught, in short, from a ball that got a little big on him. Fardell strolled to crease and snuck a suicidal single first ball. Willem was very keen to run though, and helped push Fardell's next streaky bacon of a shot to deep third man up from the 2 runs it deserved, to the 3 runs it didn't.
Sadly Fardell had been watching the terrible batting on display. Shark's Jason is a spin bowler who gives it a bit of air, and he bowled another pie. Fardell, gently as you like, picked out the man at leg gully with possibly the worst shot of the evening. I even took the pace off the ball for the fielder: what a gent. McClarty joined Amoraal, hit a nice four, and then did exactly the same thing as Fardell two balls previously. Gibbons came in, swung, and gave us our second golden duck of the season (altogether how, quack quack).
Things looked dire, and Jagex were in serious danger, at 8 wickets down, of not posting 100. Out strolled Steve "Hero" Morgan to partner Amoraal. Between the two of them they pushed Jagex's score to a respectable, but difficult to defend 116, when it had been lingering at 85. Steve hit a particularly nice four over wide mid on, and a cracking snick to wide fine leg which was so good that the fielder just let it go through him and over the rope. Willem had been in the middle for some time, but was still pushing the pace and chasing the singles, much to his credit. After three fours and the second top score of the evening, Steve was run out. Willem finally hit a four (altogether now, Huzzah!) and Broadbridge kept him company for the last couple of balls. 116-9 at the turn, probably not enough, but a lot better than it had looked with 4 overs to go.
The Sharks batsmen were canny, and realising the total was gettable if they kept wickets in hand, they batted very sensibly. Fardell was stand in wicket keeper as Tween was visiting a Cannabis Factory (in all seriousness, he was, that's his new job and it isn't even illegal) and Jones was in Coventry to see Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen throw out 3 hours of tunes at the ripe old age of 66. Fardell did his best, but honestly gents, it's a really hard position. The score book reckons there were only 3 byes, so I'll take that.
Cooper and Lamble opened the bowling. Both did well, economic and quality lines, but the batsmen waited for the odd ball of width, and then dispatched it. The only scare was that one overly excited Sharks batsman was trying to do a Piers, and fell over several times in search of impossible singles. Thankfully for him, he mostly feel over in the popping crease before he'd actually got anywhere. His partner scowled in his general direction a couple of times, which was about as exciting as it got from our perspective in the first 10 or so overs.
Our fielding carried on in the positive vein of this season, with Broadbridge, Simon Lait, McClarty and Edwards distinguishing themselves in the field. Steve came in to bowl and pulled a couple of very decent overs out of the bag, but the batsmen were both content to tick along, take it easy and just slowly accumulate, Jonathan Trott style. One opener retired after a thoroughly respectable and restrained innings, 25 from 32 balls showing the necessary pace. The next batsman continued in the same vein, albeit that he was more willing to have a go than his predecessor.
Piers then came in and bowled some really tight lines, but nothing was happening. At this point I knew, we just didn't have enough runs. Everyone had bowled superbly, and the fielding had been ace, but with a low total it is just tough unless the batsmen take risks, and credit to them, they were batting very sensibly. I tried to gee people up by introducing a sledging contest shortly after batsman 3 retired and finally we had the desired result, with Willem bowling a peach just outside off, the batsman swinging and short third man picking it out of the air. Cue ecstatic celebrations, our first wicket in the 14th over. Suddenly the volume increased and the sledging came out. McClarty made a terrible Yo Momma joke in my general direction, something like "your momma so wet...". I shan't finish the line, and am still terribly unamused.
Several people then picked up on some top fielding by Simon Lait and started calling him Milky. It took me a while to get this, along with Milkybar Kid, Cafe au Lait and Full Fat. I can be a bit slow at times. Edwards came into bowl and was, almost literally, on fire, bowling some exquisite lines and getting a maiden first over. He ended up going for 12 from 3, and really would have turned the game in a closer encounter. Fardell then turned to Broadbridge, and saw some lovely twirly arm action and a nice bit of turn, with a wicket falling, and the faint whiff of hope re-entering the air.
Then followed a hilarious run out, with Lamble picking up the ball and pinging it to Fardell with both batsmen dawdling in the middle. Fardell didn't take it cleanly, instead Fosbury flopping onto the deck and fumbling and flapping around with the large gloves that keepers are forced to wear. Thankfully the batsman had given up on preserving his wicket, so Fardell eventually broke the stumps. Lamble described him as Beached Whale. Thanks, Ralph.
Broadbridge then scored another wicket at the death (why on earth didn't I bowl him earlier?). The field came in and the batsman did the necessaries, hitting four with about 10 balls to spare.
A good fielding and bowling performance, but too low a total. Some people might say we were trounced. I like to think that we actually
rescued a respectable beating from a potential shoeing. In the immortal words of Yazz, the only way is up.
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