From 11-7 on Sunday 7th July at Queens and Robinson College Sports Ground, we are running a charity sixes tournament in aid of the wonderful local charity, Red Balloon.
http://www.redballoonlearner.co.uk/
Red Balloon is a charity that helps with the support of bullied children, including providing conducive learning environments and support. I'd encourage you to have a look at their website and read about, and see if you can help.
We already have a full roster of players and teams, but there will be boules, badminton, beer and possibly kwik cricket and hopefully sunshine. There will also be a raffle which promises some decent prizes and some sort of awards for the winners, possibly involving school sports day style medals: what's not to like? It should also be a child friendly event for those with children. Deloitte, Mills & Reeve, Sharks and Jagex have all kindly agreed to field teams.
For those of you who aren't familiar with sixes, it's probably one of the more accessible forms of cricket for a non-traditional audience. A good friend of mine recent described sixes tournaments as "booze fueled biff, bosh and bash fests", which I think sums it up quite nicely.
Below is a traditional sixes shot - note the complete lack of technique, the distance between the ball and the bat, the head looking towards the leg-side boundary more in hope than expectation, the top of middle stump gently pushed back and, most brilliantly, the closed eyes. You don't need your eyes to hit a ball, apparently.
In a better display of technique, here is a picture of my favourite cricketer, Shahid Afridi thumping one in the direction of cow corner. Not his trade mark "Boom Boom" bat.
Here's hoping for a good day, with lots of fun and some money raised for a good cause.
There were several reasons for this game being called off, but I'm going to mainly blame Michael Fish for telling me it was going to be sunny...
It has recently occurred to me that inventing and playing a sport that is weather dependent is fine if you live in Barbados, but not so much if you live in England. This is obviously a fairly stunning revelation of pure originality.
Sharks 119-4 (MVS 25*, Michael 25*, Jim 25*, Broadbridge 14-2) beat Jagex 116-9 (P Morgan 19, S Morgan 17, Jason 14-3)by 6 wickets.
Jagex continued the losing streak that has characterised the start of every one of our seasons, with our third consecutive loss, against the Sharks, a team we really know how to lose to.
Juzzy took the toss on behalf of Fardell and chose to bat, a wise decision, although once more weather conditions were rubbish. We were at least afforded the benefit of a nice pitch this week, with Queens and Robinson College Sports Ground affording us a backdrop so twee and English, it seems tailor-made for cucumber sandwiches, Pimms and shouts of Huzzah from Captain Flashheart.
Simon Lait opened the batting with Piers Morgan (who shall henceforth by known as just Piers, a bit like Just William, but more mischievous). Simon had looked great with the willow in the nets, and so it proved in the first over, when he hit a nice four straight back over/through the bowler with his very dodgy sounding piece of timber - no doubt acquired from Sports Direct at a bargain price. Sadly he pinched strike at the end of the over and was greeted with a half track pie. In common with several other batsmen on the evening he decided the best thing to do with a bad ball was to gently tip this square, where the square leg fielder took an easy catch. Rarely has a bowler less deserved a wicket with a ball.
Piers then got going with Lamble to keep him company, although the weather was not batting conducive, with a fine mist of drizzle and some actual rain threatening to end proceedings. This caused Piers to lose his footing more than once, and he slipped and slid around like the Jamaican Bobsled Team, losing singles and his pride in the process. Before long Lamble and Piers struck some lusty blows, a nice four to square from Lamble and some hoicks from Piers, including one that apparently went for 6, according to the score book at least.
After 3 nice fours, Lamble was bowled trying to hoick across the line to one of the better bowlers. At this point it stopped raining, but Piers was still resolute in his mission to entertain us all with his falling over antics. He even hit a shot to long off, cursed "no" nice and loudly and then trotted through for a single. Thankfully his new partner Juzzy Edwards was alert and backed him up. Juzzy has looked in nice touch so far this season, and so it proved here with a small partnership building up a head of steam, including some nice genuine cricket shots, in particular one that involved foot movement, a straight bat and a ball driven sweetly back past the bowler. There was also a spot of comedy fielding, with two Sharks converging on a skier, and both deciding to leave it alone, and some interesting throwing in the direction of, erm, nothing, to allow some overthrows to bolster the score. The wicket keeper got in on the action, running round the stumps, shoeing others away, and then dropping a dolly.
Piers eventually fell, caught at backward square. It was actually quite a nice shot, and on any other day would have got four. Sadly he managed to pick out AB, one of Sharks' star players, who was fielding in a slightly unorthodox/inspired position of 3/4 backwards square. Cooper was bumped up the order and helped keep Juzzy keen by pushing for runs before he was clean bowled by a peach of a yorker. Juzzy then ticked along with Willem for company for a while, before he too was caught, in short, from a ball that got a little big on him. Fardell strolled to crease and snuck a suicidal single first ball. Willem was very keen to run though, and helped push Fardell's next streaky bacon of a shot to deep third man up from the 2 runs it deserved, to the 3 runs it didn't.
Sadly Fardell had been watching the terrible batting on display. Shark's Jason is a spin bowler who gives it a bit of air, and he bowled another pie. Fardell, gently as you like, picked out the man at leg gully with possibly the worst shot of the evening. I even took the pace off the ball for the fielder: what a gent. McClarty joined Amoraal, hit a nice four, and then did exactly the same thing as Fardell two balls previously. Gibbons came in, swung, and gave us our second golden duck of the season (altogether how, quack quack).
Things looked dire, and Jagex were in serious danger, at 8 wickets down, of not posting 100. Out strolled Steve "Hero" Morgan to partner Amoraal. Between the two of them they pushed Jagex's score to a respectable, but difficult to defend 116, when it had been lingering at 85. Steve hit a particularly nice four over wide mid on, and a cracking snick to wide fine leg which was so good that the fielder just let it go through him and over the rope. Willem had been in the middle for some time, but was still pushing the pace and chasing the singles, much to his credit. After three fours and the second top score of the evening, Steve was run out. Willem finally hit a four (altogether now, Huzzah!) and Broadbridge kept him company for the last couple of balls. 116-9 at the turn, probably not enough, but a lot better than it had looked with 4 overs to go.
The Sharks batsmen were canny, and realising the total was gettable if they kept wickets in hand, they batted very sensibly. Fardell was stand in wicket keeper as Tween was visiting a Cannabis Factory (in all seriousness, he was, that's his new job and it isn't even illegal) and Jones was in Coventry to see Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen throw out 3 hours of tunes at the ripe old age of 66. Fardell did his best, but honestly gents, it's a really hard position. The score book reckons there were only 3 byes, so I'll take that.
Cooper and Lamble opened the bowling. Both did well, economic and quality lines, but the batsmen waited for the odd ball of width, and then dispatched it. The only scare was that one overly excited Sharks batsman was trying to do a Piers, and fell over several times in search of impossible singles. Thankfully for him, he mostly feel over in the popping crease before he'd actually got anywhere. His partner scowled in his general direction a couple of times, which was about as exciting as it got from our perspective in the first 10 or so overs.
Our fielding carried on in the positive vein of this season, with Broadbridge, Simon Lait, McClarty and Edwards distinguishing themselves in the field. Steve came in to bowl and pulled a couple of very decent overs out of the bag, but the batsmen were both content to tick along, take it easy and just slowly accumulate, Jonathan Trott style. One opener retired after a thoroughly respectable and restrained innings, 25 from 32 balls showing the necessary pace. The next batsman continued in the same vein, albeit that he was more willing to have a go than his predecessor.
Piers then came in and bowled some really tight lines, but nothing was happening. At this point I knew, we just didn't have enough runs. Everyone had bowled superbly, and the fielding had been ace, but with a low total it is just tough unless the batsmen take risks, and credit to them, they were batting very sensibly. I tried to gee people up by introducing a sledging contest shortly after batsman 3 retired and finally we had the desired result, with Willem bowling a peach just outside off, the batsman swinging and short third man picking it out of the air. Cue ecstatic celebrations, our first wicket in the 14th over. Suddenly the volume increased and the sledging came out. McClarty made a terrible Yo Momma joke in my general direction, something like "your momma so wet...". I shan't finish the line, and am still terribly unamused.
Several people then picked up on some top fielding by Simon Lait and started calling him Milky. It took me a while to get this, along with Milkybar Kid, Cafe au Lait and Full Fat. I can be a bit slow at times. Edwards came into bowl and was, almost literally, on fire, bowling some exquisite lines and getting a maiden first over. He ended up going for 12 from 3, and really would have turned the game in a closer encounter. Fardell then turned to Broadbridge, and saw some lovely twirly arm action and a nice bit of turn, with a wicket falling, and the faint whiff of hope re-entering the air.
Then followed a hilarious run out, with Lamble picking up the ball and pinging it to Fardell with both batsmen dawdling in the middle. Fardell didn't take it cleanly, instead Fosbury flopping onto the deck and fumbling and flapping around with the large gloves that keepers are forced to wear. Thankfully the batsman had given up on preserving his wicket, so Fardell eventually broke the stumps. Lamble described him as Beached Whale. Thanks, Ralph.
Broadbridge then scored another wicket at the death (why on earth didn't I bowl him earlier?). The field came in and the batsman did the necessaries, hitting four with about 10 balls to spare.
A good fielding and bowling performance, but too low a total. Some people might say we were trounced. I like to think that we actually
rescued a respectable beating from a potential shoeing. In the immortal words of Yazz, the only way is up.
NCI (Kumar 23, Johnston 22, Edwards 18-2) 97 beat Jagex (Colledge 27*, P Morgan 21, Laskisingh 9-1) 84 by 13 runs.
Jagex lost their second game of the season by a narrow margin on the ever unhelpful CASS centre pitch in a weather shortened game.
Under gloomy skies, the teams agreed to drop from 20 to 15 overs aside to try and squeeze the game in. This week saw the welcome returns of Edwards and P Morgan and was, technically, Neil Tween's last game for Jagex. We also had our first official visit from a fan this season, with Sophie Butlin kindly turning up to smoke and cheer us on in a French sort of way.
Fardell won the toss and, for some strange reason, put the opposition in to bat. P Morgan and Edwards opened the bowling, and did extremely well, tying down the batsmen early. P Morgan was extracting some real movement off the deck and Edwards had the swagger of a man who had rediscovered the extra burst of speed that a fast bowler craves. The sixth ball of P Morgan's second over was dispatched for four with a beautiful square cut, easily the second best shot of the evening. Sadly for the batsman, the umpires had miscounted the balls in the over, and P Morgan used his extra ball to good effect, bowling an absolute peach to knock over the stumps.
The next batsman was clear unsettled by Edwards' lightning pace, and fended at one early, popping an easy one for Fardell to gently roll forward, a little like Veronica Salt from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory might have, and claim at catch at short cover. Gibbins replaced Edwards and Cooper replaced P Morgan in the first change of the evening. Gibbins started with a loose one, but then extracted some genuine quality, and was rewarded. Edwards, clearly gee'd up by his wicket, came forward at mid off and claimed a good catch from Gibbin's bowling, to give him his first Jagex wicket and, quite possibly, his first wicket since school. McClarty made a cracking stop on the off side to save four at one point, and the fielding was, generally, exemplary - a real strength of ours so far this season.
Cooper, not to be outdone, went all Graham Swann, and claimed a wicket first over as well. This was a conventional bowled wicket with a ball that went on with the arm, rather than the exciting rip-turner of the previous week. Batsmen were falling and NCI were struggling to get any partnerships together. Wise, again, was having a great game in the field, with many balls coming in his direction and being ably fielded. Van Daal also had a good game in the field, and has a wonderful habit of raising his arm to test batsmen, to see if they'll take him on, after picking up the ball.
Fardell then made a decision that no sane Captain ever should make. Having been encouraged by Tween's showing in the nets, he decided to pull the wicketkeeper out from behind the stumps to give him a twirl, with the able Jones taking the gloves and pads. Goodness me this was a bad decision. The worst I've ever made, and gents, there have been a few.
Tween proceeded to bowl a full over of looseners, finding his length not once in 6 balls. An above head height no ball beamer that went for 6 was the highlight in a single over that cost 20 runs. Tween gracefully stepped out of the attack, to allow Fardell to try and restore some normality. This allowed the first and only partnership to develop between NCI batsmen, and was probably the only thing that gave them a defendable total. Jones did really well behind the stumps, not least since he had to deal with some quite incredible variation of height and width.
Fardell then bowled well for an over, as did Colledge at the other end, to arrest the rate. Cooper finished off with a tidy over to leave the opposition slowed gracefully at the death, with Tween putting down a very difficult chance at short midwicket from his bowling. Late in the game a cameraman invaded the field and took some snaps, including some from right behind the stumps, during play. I hope they came out alright, given the perilous danger he put himself in.
At the turn, Sophie looked like she was enjoying herself, and Fardell scratched his head and tried to decide what to do.The untried and untested opening pair of Colledge and McClarty opened again. NCI offered a pink ball up as an option, given the fading light, swirling wind and dark clouds.
For the first 4 overs, Jagex ticked along nicely, with Colledge scoring well and Mr Extras doing well too. Sadly McClarty was struggling to see even the pink ball in the grim conditions, and wasn't aided by the rain which gently pattered down. Colledge was hitting some lovely strokes, including the number one shot of the evening a very, very late cut between backward point and short third man - deliberate, controlled and exquisite to watch. McClarty then fell, bowled to a good one.
Jones came into the fray and after a fair few sighters, cracked a beaut straight back over the bowler's head. Colledge retired on 27, a fine return to form. Van Daal unfortunately only lasted one ball, to give us our first golden duck of the season, it was a very full delivery that would have taken out many batsmen. P Morgan came out, to cheers from the pavilion, and put together a brief partnership with Jones, before Jones was out stumped in slightly comic fashion. He stepped forward, missed the ball and jammed his foot back down quickly. Sadly it wasn't in the crease.
Edwards then came out, and honestly chaps, by this point, it really wasn't cricket weather. P Morgan hit some lovely shots, including a couple of fours and a three. He found a willing runner in Edwards. P Morgan was then saved when substitute fielder Simon Lait (normally of Jagex and kindly helping out NCI) bowled an over and saw P Morgan caught off a bump ball. The reprieve allowed P Morgan to hit two more two's before disaster struck. Follow Jay Atkinson's departure to France, P Morgan is officially the most handsome member of the team. A ball came in and somehow P Morgan hit it up into his face. There were gasps, there were looks of horror, and Sophie exclaimed, "Oh No!", with her delightful French accent helping to fully convey the fear and horror.
Thankfully P Morgan had only a small red mark on his forehead. Sadly the ball had looped off his forehead and into the hands of a waiting fielder. Two overs left, 25 odd runs needed. Fardell strolled out and pinched strike with a cheeky single. He was then sadly run out pushing for two runs, with Gibbins being the umpire. Wise strolled in to claim his first ever run in cricket and helped Edwards keep things ticking over. Edwards was then run out, with Gibbins being the umpire. Cooper joined Wise, tried to keep things ticking over, but saw his partner Wise run out, with Gibbins being the umpire. Sensing a theme?
Cooper and Tween then finished things, well short. Cooper did his utmost to try and run Tween out, but sadly couldn't. Jagex finished 14 runs short. The banter afterwards was fair, but the food from our new caterer, the Jagex canteen was immense. Quiche and Chicken Tikka Skewers get a special mention and we'd like to say thanks to Enzo and his staff for doing such a sterling job on the munch front.
As D-Ream said, things can only get better. Also, we're no longer at the CASS Centre next week. It has a nice pavilion, but it has never brought us good luck and the square has the feel of a football pitch.
Eversheds 138 (Humphrey 44, McGlashan* 26, Verma 18-3) beat Jagex 125 (McClarty 28, Van Daal 22, New 19-3) by 13 runs.
Jagex were narrowly defeated in a closely fought and enjoyable game against Eversheds at the CASS Centre in their first game of the season.
Jagex won the toss and put the opposition in to bat. The CASS centre square and outfield are notoriously firm and difficult to field on, but the ground was in the best shape it has been for some time. This doesn't mean it was good, just better than normal. Jagex gave debuts this week to Messrs Wise, Verma and Gibbins, new recruits stepping into the shoes of some of those who we have lost since last season. Alex Evans of Jagex, also on debut as 12th man, kindly played for Eversheds, seeing as they were short with only 9 men. Tween was wicket keeping today in his last 'official' game for the Jaguars.
Lamble and Verma opened the bowling. Verma managed to extract real pace and venom from his first few overs, with a skiddy low trajectory and fast action. Despite being injured playing kickball over the non-cricket portion of the year (known as, 'autumn, 'winter' and 'spring' to most people), Lamble was tidy to start with an opening two over spell. The Evershed's batsmen were struggling to get going initially, such was the quality of the bowling. 4 overs in saw the first wicket taking action of the season, courtesy of Verma. He managed to bowl one of the openers with a full paced yorker on middle stump. The number 3 batsman wandered out nonchalantly and found himself bowled, first ball, with another full paced yorker, this time on leg stump.
4 overs in and Jagex found themselves on the first hat-trick ball of the season, with men clustered around the bat, the batsman kept it out. Verma was replaced by Amoraal after a 3 over spell. I don't like making celebrity comparisons, but Verma's fast low action has a spot of the Tino Best about it. Lamble was replaced by Cooper. Some early good fielding from Wise and Colledge helped keep the run rate down. Early on you'd probably say that Jagex were restricting Eversheds nicely and building pressure.
Amoraal's first over was tidy, going for 4 runs. Four balls in the batsman stepped forward to middle one, but only succeeded in walloping it straight up into the air. It took an age to come down, and Fardell under it could only slow it's meteoric fall to earth, and bust a finger in the process. Amoraal was not happy, and boy did he let me know about it...
The Evershed's first and fourth batsman both retired not out. Cooper, having kept the run rate down for a spell, then bowled one of the batsmen with an absolute ripper, which turned from a foot outside of leg stump to crash into the top of middle and off. Amoraal finished a 3 over spell wicketless, but he had clearly deserved one with a welcome return. I took him out of the attack to try and stop his dreaded fourth over syndrome. Gibbins came on in place of Amoraal, having shown some great bowling technique in the nets. Some good fielding at this point by Van Daal and McClarty also helped rein the game in somewhat. Wise was also still getting in on the action, with the ball seemingly magnetically attracted to the tall American.
Gibbins was a touch nervous to be handed the cherry on debut, and mixed some of the joyous balls we'd seen in the nets with a couple of half trackers. The batsmen were canny, and left the good balls alone and dispatched the slightly weaker balls. It didn't massively help Gibbins' figures that some of our less athletic fielders were content to 'try' and stop balls with a lazy wave of a single hand and a slow motion bend of the knee. I won't name any names, South African or otherwise. I tried to offer Gibbins some friendly advice to pitch it up, I hope he didn't take it badly - since in when he does pitch it up, it's very hard to play. Fardell came on for a spell, but I was dross to be honest, and was only granted a wicket by a very generous shot from their batsman, straight into the air to the keeper. One ball did move though, honestly.
Cooper continued, and was rewarded with another bowled wicket, with one that seemed to go on straight with the arm. I set some very curious fields - I'd clearly left my fielding map at home. Lamble came back on and was rewarded with a couple of wickets, one bowled and one caught. He put down a tough caught and bowled chance from his own bowling, and dislocated a finger in the process. Like Mel Gibson's shoulder in Lethal Weapon 2 (you know, the one with the brilliant "Diplomatic Immunity"... "it's just been revoked", line in it) he popped his finger back and carried on like a trooper. Amoraal and Verma bowled the last two overs, with Amoraal getting spanked about, and Verma being really tidy, ending up bowling the most dangerous Eversheds' batsman on the night and effecting a run out to finish with figures of 4-3-18. A sparkling bowling debut. Eversheds finished on 138, which was a very good score on an unpredictable minefield of a CASS centre track. 120 looked beyond them at one point, but Jagex got a bit wayward in the middle and some of the later overs.
One major point of note, there was a distinct lack of sledging, bad or otherwise. The only moment of I can recall was Tween asking Amoraal to try and bowl it somewhere in the vicinity of the stumps, Amoraal mumbling 'yeah, yeah' in response, and Fardell chirping in with, "chaps, we're supposed to sledge the oppo...".
The Jagex chase started pretty well. The new opening partnership of Colledge and McClarty were happy to see the opening bowlers being generous on the extras front. One of the Evershed's bowlers had a really threatening and fast action with a long run up. When he found the target, he was hard to keep out. Being the first game of the season, he was quite wayward, and was really more of a danger to his own wicket keeper than the stumps.
McClarty was wielding the latest piece of Kashmiri wood to be added to the Jagex kit bag, coming all the way from Amritsar for the princely sum of £35, including shipping. I also forked out £2 for some "Boom Boom" stickers, to give it an authentic air. Whatever the quality of the timber, McClarty was wielding the willow effectively and hit a wonderful six over backward square leg, almost demolishing a window in the process. McClarty has the fastest hand speed I've ever seen outside of a spaghetti western. His feet, not so quick - the hands do all the work.
Colledge was determined not to get out early on and see off the openers, and with extras racking up the scoreboard looked great. Colledge had only scored 2, but had been facing balls when approximately 20 extras had been conceded in the first four or so overs. Sadly he was the first to fall, in bizarre fashion. Having seen off the openers, he found the first change bowler to also be a little wayward. One ball was speared a long way down the leg-side. Richard casually stepped out of the way in anticipation of a wide, but unfortunately he neglected to move his bat completely out of the way. Somehow the ball clipped the back of the bat and gently looped straight to the wicket keeper. You really had to be there to see it, an unfortunate miracle of physics.
Alex Evans, helping the Eversheds' team out, was helping the out a little too much, and distinguished himself in the field several times. Van Daal came to the crease and looked a little scratchy to start with. However he really got going, hitting some lovely fours, including a late square cut past point, where he even did some footwork. McClarty retired on 28 not out with his second 6, this courtesy of a fielder on the boundary (who would have been very lucky to stop it, let alone catch it). Lamble and Van Daal put on some runs, before Lamble was bowled trying to speed things up. Van Daal was bowled on 22, leaving Verma and Wise at the crease. Verma was unfortunately bowled first ball for our first golden duck of the season, perhaps a timely reminder that cricket is a cruel sport. Fardell then came out to keep the yank company. At this point it was 14 overs, 91 runs, 4 wickets - and with 47 needed from 6 with 6 wickets in hand, things were nicely poised. All Jagex needed was one batsman to sparkle out of the remaining 6.
Sadly none did. Fardell hit a nice four and encouraged Wise on debut. Wise fell bowled, Gibbins joined Fardell and Eversheds brought on their stand out bowler of the evening, New, who bowled what someone described as "'loopy slow s^&t", which is a nasty was of saying he was a spinner who wasn't afraid to give the ball some air. Fardell clearly felt he could hurry things along, since he used no footwork or orthodox positioning to try and whack the slow stuff out of the park, but was bowled. I literally missed a straight ball by miles.Gibbins hit a four, then was out. Tween was run out backing up late.
Amoraal came in to bat and swung, and missed, and swung and missed, and swung and missed again. It was like my first golf lesson. When he connects, it really is a sight to behold, but when he misses, well, nothing happens. Over. And. Over. Again. Cooper tried to get us back on the rate, but in truth some slow running between the wickets and 4 overs where no-one got going, and the game was lost. With Cooper bowled, McClarty came back from retirement to face the final ball of the innings, with 14 needed for the win. He was bowled, by the irrepressible New, to blot his batting average figures.
A good game, played in perfect spirit, and in all honesty Evershed's thoroughly deserved the result for some great late bowling and fielding to restrict the chase. The CASS centre seemed to have forgotten to send a member of barstaff to unlock things, so Eversheds put on a wonderful tea of Marks & Spencers goodies (get in), complemented by the wonderful 'hobo drinking in the park' feel of tinnies. In the weather, it was actually a perfect way to end things.
Sadly the game was called off due to inclement weather.
It may have looked a little like this...
A few of my favourite cricket terms...
Chin Music - A bouncer directed to the throat region.
Corridor of Uncertainty - A bowling area around off stump. Also, the corridor leading to the HR office in most office buildings
Dibbly Dobbly - A bowler or ball that isn't that good... sometimes known as a Fardell ball
Jaffa - An excellent ball or a type of biscuit/cake that always tastes a little stale.
Drinks Waiter - Also known as the 12th Man.
A Rabbit Warren - The pavilion during a Jagex innings
Gauntlet Work - Fine wicket keeping or the title of an episode of Game of Thrones
Jockstrap - Something not to be shared - although we do have a communal one in the team kit bag
Fishing - Using the bat to feel vaguely in the direction of the ball
Giving It Some Humpty - Playing agriculturally....
Nurdle - Not often seen in evening cricket
Pie Chucker - One of our better bowlers
The Yips - Also known as what happens in Willem Amoraal's fourth over...
Sledging - Taunting the opposition in good nature. Sledging may be good (Ian Chappell), Hilarious (Daryll Cullinan, Merv Hughes, Rodney Marsh, Ian Botham) , Aggressive (Viv Richards, Glenn MacGrath), or just plain awful (Fardell).
If you manage to squeeze any of these into everyday banter and you're on my squad list, consider yourself pushed up the order...
