Jags the Winners in the Trendy New Format

Jags 123-6 (Fardell 26*, Threadgold 18, Brett 17*, Jim 2-7, Nusrat 2-16) beat Sharks 116-4 (R Smith 25*, Jim 22, Ralph 21*, Brett 2-30) by 7 runs

Jags and Sharks resumed their friendly competitive rivalry in the late, dark and cold environs of Kings and Selwyn College sports ground. Given how late in the season it was, and given how both teams are pioneers in new and interesting ways to play cricket, we agreed to go with a slightly modified version of the "Hundred" format this week to save on light and time. And, you know, because we're down with the kids and what not. 

To those of you who don't know, the Hundred is a new format dreamt up by some marketing dude to get young people into cricket. It involves 10 "overs" of ten balls with each bowler bowling sets of 5, and up to 20 balls in total each. There are some other funky rules I could write down here for you, but honestly, go to wikipedia, it's a good source for information. Heck, I've use wikipedia to provide legal advice for years, and so far I have not been sued, so there you go 

 We are trendy...

The Hundred format we have seen on TV involves live infographics with the score, dancing entertainers (male, female and gender non binary - we're all 'woke' nowadays), fireworks and celebrity players. We substituted these flamboyant bits for basic levels of low level banter. My honest to goodness favourite thing about the Hundred is that it is sponsored by KP Snacks, which means each team has a shirt adorned with one of Butterkist, KP, Tyrrell's, Skips, Hula Hoops, McCoys, Pop-chips or Pombear. You can essentially choose your team based on the the type of confectionary you prefer.

 Mmmm, Tasty.

Speaking of which, I think your choice of confectionary tells you a lot about a person. If you went on a date with someone and they indicated a preference for Tyrrell's, you know you're in for an expensive and high class night that might involved some jazz, and holding hands if you're really lucky. If you similarly went on a date with someone who hankered for Hula Hoops, your budget won't need to go far beyond the pound saver menu at McDonald's, but you you know you might be in for some full-on-funsies at the end of the evening. Anyway, I digress.

Jags won the toss and opted to bat. At this stage of the year, if you win the toss and bat first, then the odds are fairly heavily stacked in your favour - not to take anything away from the excitement that followed. 

Parrish and Fardell opened the batting together and scoring was initially quite challenging, with good bowling and brilliant fielding, plus the novelty of the new format causing some confusion. We got ticking in the end with a few shots that were certain 4's but for some inspired boundary fielding from the Sharks, but still managed to scamper 2 or 3 here and there. Parrish sadly perished early, bowled taking on one of the openers skipping out of his crease and hearing the top of off disturbed. Threadgold joined Fardell for a bit and some decent running kept us skipping along, but the boundaries were proving elusive. Fardell was doing his best Dom Sibley impression, scoring at a glacial pace. Dan forced things somewhat, it's our third partnership in three weeks and he knows he has to push me! We hit out first boundary around the 45th ball of the innings - it was a slow start despite the theoretically rapid new format.

Dan was still hitting the ball nicely, one to deep midwicket in particular sticks in the mind, deep in the crease, one step across and wallop it was. Also a lovely late cut to third man. He turned down the odd extra run to save his/my legs, and I was very grateful for the odd rest. Dan accelerated past me in about 4 or 5 balls and kept it going until he chipped one up and was caught by the wicket keeper - who did that incredibly stupid looking thing where he caught it easily, then threw himself on the floor as though he had dived and just made it. There are no cameras here, and everyone thinks you're a wally - chap.

Dan's demise bought a season debut for Langley. Tobias was ever present in our abbreviated season last year, but owing to romantic commitments this year he has been unable to be our stalwart. We are delighted to welcome him back, if for no other reason than it is a new beard to admire and his level of chat is more PhD than BTEC. Tobias entered the action missing one outside off and hitting his own leg with the bat - it's been a long, cold, netless winter for Tobias. I finally scored a boundary, hoorah, and Tobias got some runs by pushing the ball around, but sadly fell caught propping it up to a bowler who has gone into the book as, "Young Lad".

Brolia joined Fardell and hit his first or second ball for 4, absolutely spanked to deep midwicket. I retired at this point with a 2, to get me to 26 off about 5000 balls, bringing Cob to the crease. Get your brooms out chaps. Brolia perished shortly thereafter, in controversial circumstances, maybe.... He thought the ball might have bounced twice before the crease and then dislodged the bails, but it hadn't and after a brief discussion, he walked off.

Will strolled out to join Cob and Cob did the Cob thing that we shall oh so miss when he goes to California. He scored with a lovely sweep, and then fell trying the identical same shot to the wrong ball. People say you should learn from your mistakes, Cob says, pass me a Newcastle Brown Ale and you can shove your education theory bollocks up your jacksie. One day he will hit a 25 in just sweeps, when he is 100 years old probably, and go, "there, told you so" and then take up bowls or something.

Venkat then strolled out, a late call up from the Histon 3's where he has had an absolutely brilliant season. He hit a single, Brett hit a single, then Venkat hit the shot of the evening, taking the slower bowler on, using the longer handle and his feet, and hitting a 6 straight back over the bowler's head and into the farmer's field beyond. Will scored a nice 4, a hilariously bad single or two before being caught off part time Shark bowler, Jim. We were probably a touch behind a good score at this point, but Brett walked in to partner Venkat and they absolutely got us to a defendable total. Brett hit and called for runs, Venkat silently did his thing, reading the situation, and saying absolutely nothing. Brett hit a couple of tasty 4s'e one in particular to midwicket was absolutely class, foot movement, shape and finding the gap nicely. An innings that had threatened to end in a not at all defendable 100 or so, pushed up to 123 - which felt much more likely to give us a shout.

The light was a problem at this point, so the changeover was quick and Brett opened for the Jags with Cob behind the stumps. Some initial fielding did not have the urgency required, I'm looking at you Phillips, so Sharks got off to a good start. One opener in particular (R Smith) was playing very well, picking gaps and offering a wide variety of shots to differing parts of the ground (although he loved the offside, loved it...), making field setting challenging. Venkat did a tandem thing with Liam for a bit and it worked quite well, with Venkat bowling well and Liam also bowling well. Will took a spell of 5, then Ant, and this lead to the second brilliant Venkat moment of the match. The ball was pushed to short midwicket, and the batsmen set off, Venkat attacked the ball, picked up and threw in one motion, and a direct hit run out ensued. The batsman jogged off, conceding he had not made his ground even as the umpire was trying to find ways to justify not giving him out. The honour and graciousness of evening cricket is an important part of the game.

It was pretty dark already at this point, batting was hard. Jeeva was in for the Sharks, he is a bit of a danger man, a gun bat, useful fielder and great bowler. A combination of Will, Liam and Venkat were bowling at this point and the other Shark was doing well. Jeeva got his eye in and then went to spank one over the bowler. His big mistake was being part of the third utterly brilliant thing that Venkat did this evening, a caught and bowled - where Venkat bowled a slightly faster ball than expected, then leapt like Michael Jordan and made a virtually impossible chance look incredibly routine. Your man of the match trophy is in the post, Venners.

Ant was having a day in the field, stopping a lot at backward point. Will was notably active, and Tobias put in a shift as the fielding standard was pretty good. Tyler also did a solid job boundary riding, and nothing came near me for ages - so I didn't make any mistakes.

Ant and Will partnered for a while and Ant's bowling resulting in some byes with his vicious pace and late movement being taken as byes and not wides. Dan gave him some crap for his bowling, Ant tried to blame it on Cob, and Cob was like, shut up dickhead. Tyler jumped in at the other end, fresh off a full day shift at McDonald's. One Sharks opener retired, but not before he was dropped. Dan was set at mid off to take an easy skied chance, before his ankle gave way. I'll be honest, the way he want down and the ball almost hitting him, I thought a swift trip to A and E was on the cards, but he was thankfully ok. The next Sharks batsman was a little fella, with lots of padding. I mean, he's been to Mr Cricket and bought ever guarding piece of clothing there is.

The next few overs were uneventful until Tyler got our second caught and bowled of the evening. He's been really great at bowling lately, putting in some useful lines, and good pace and variation. This was one such instance, having bowled quick and quick in succession, he took the pace a tiny bit off, deceiving the batsman into a chip that settled gracefully in his hands. 

Jim and Ralph the Sharks stalwarts were scoring nicely, but the rate was climbing and things were a challenge. Parrish put a couple of decent overs into the spell to give us enough bowling options, and Ant returned with his menace and verve. He hit a good length ball that was spanked towards me, and more out of luck than judgment it hit my shin (which is several shades of purple as I write this) and stopped a 4. Jim biffed a few more, before perishing to Brett, skying it high where Dan took an easy chance without rolling his ankle this time. Will came back into the attack and the last 10 balls came, with Sharks needing 25 or so from 10.

They were unlikely to make it, but they gave a good account of themselves, scoring (according to the book) 9 from the first set of 5 and needing 16 from the last 5. It got close, a no ball or a couple of wides and that would have been that, but it wasn't to be. It was bloody dark at the end as well.

So, that's it, our season ends with a win in an entirely new format. Pub attendance was great, lots of top chat, pizzas and beers and vague non-committal statements of, "yeah I'll make some of those end of season events" leaving my organising brain befuddled... Guys... yes... or ... no....

Bye, Sap - we're going to miss you!

Jags 123-6 (Fardell 26*, Threadgold 25*, Coslett 15, Brolia 15, Bread 2-27) beat Deloitte 109-9 (Rammer 32*, Ralph 28*, Nick 13, Dave 13, Will 3-10, Coslett 2-9) by 14 Runs

This week's game was at the same ground, with mostly the same team, but this week we had nice weather (yay!) and we sadly had to treat this as a testimonial for one of our favourite Jags of the season, Sap (boo). He's a one season wonder all the way from the US of A, but he has been a mainstay of the team this year, and we shall miss him. He has to return to the US - now that the presidency has changed, he feels obligated to go back to the motherland and do his part by re-joining a tolerant, liberal and caring society. 

Dick.

 USA! USA! 

A lovely ground at Queens and a strong Jags XI, sadly depleted by Cob not making it (bootycall/Lovell session/hangover*) - delete as appropriate. Matt won the toss against a gracious Deloitte side, who gave us a game when a game seemed unlikely, as we were taking a, "rest week" - i..e the chairman hadn't fucking booked anything.

Parrish skipped in to bat with Barker as opening partner, and the early bowling from the Deloitte stand-in skipper, Dave, was, well, wowsers. It was good. Like super good. He looked every inch the weekend cricketer I assume that he actually is, and scoring was very tough. 

Parrish managed to get a few, and Barker briefly kept him at bay, but sadly perished early to the other bowler, chipping a decent ball back to him high in the air. Threadgold moved out to join the action, freshly recovered from his latest brush with COVID. Don't stand too near him, you might catch goodness knows what. Parrish survived for a bit, but eventually the Deloitte skipper bowled a mad ball, and that was that. When I talked to Matt on the way in to replace him, he just said, "he's really good mate, try and survive". 

Spoiler alert - I did. Hoorah!

Dan was playing very well at this point, pushing for singles, and scoring a lovely offside lofted shot that I recall well, plus a gorgeous pull behind square. He's really found his range for us the last few games, and is fantastic at judging runs. We built something of a partnership, and although I was dropped twice and the bowling was pretty good all round, it felt like we were on the pace. Dan soon retired, a pull to square leg, bringing soon-to-be-first-time-father, Ant, to the crease. 

Ant was ready for the game. I feel an interlude is in order.

Deloitte were partially dyed in the wool employees, and partially bolstered by Cambridge cricket perennials "Sharks" at this point. Some weeks you can play more than one game for and against different teams and you will almost inevitably end up playing with or against one of the Sharks mega sized squad. They are a mainstay of the Cambridge cricketing scene and often help ensure games take place where there may be a shortage of players, as with this fixture.

Sumit of the Sharks came into the attack. Sumit is well known to us, a cricket 'tart' of sorts who just loves to play, a thoroughly nice chap and, a tricksy bowler. Ant navigated this period well, scoring and running like he does (slowly), and we carried on for a bit with the pace slow, the bowling good and the fielding excellent. Rammers of the Sharks and Tyler of the Jags both seemed to do most of the fielding for Deloitte at this point. 

Ant then hit an absolutely lovely front foot on drive to cow, that I recall mainly as Ant, "held the pose" for a period of time that was far too long. Sadly he perished almost next ball, hitting late to the offside, caught by a Shark... The 3 man Sharks team were keeping the Jags at bay at this point, and Deloitte were enjoying the view. 

Then the other best thing to happen this evening, did indeed happen. Steve Mann turned up to play - strolled out to bat, and greeted me with the words, "no quick singles, eh Marky?!". I hit a 4 and retired, leaving Coslett and Mann to move things forward. Some more challenging bowling, and some good solid Sharks/Delotte fielding kept scoring tight. Honestly we were praying for 120. Steve Mann chose the edge of his bat as the safest part to use for all of his 3 runs, before he spooned one high and was sadly caught.

Coslett and Brett formed a brief partnership. Tom hit the most gorgeous shot you will ever see, a picture perfect front foot straight drive back over the bowler's head. It was so good, a Deloitte fielder applauded. Tom earned a cheeky single after that, but fell bowled, bringing Will to the crease with a few balls left to play. We were also treated to Will's evil twin brother bowling for a bit, I'm going to nickname him Hovis. Apart from their bowling actions they were eerily similar.

Will did a job for the team, as he does. He hit a nice 4 to the offside, a lovely 3, and then a 4 that Mark Fardell failed to field effectively in his role as substitute fielder. Liam tried to do the right thing and hit hard, but was stumped using his feet to move towards the ball. Bloody witchcraft - moving your feet as a batsman.

Sap joined Will for a spell and hit a couple of lovely shots to the on side for well judged singles. The Jags finished on 123-6 - it felt low as a total, but light wasn't great and we had a bowling attack for the ages.

Parrish took the gloves behind the stumps in true skipper style, and Will opened the bowling. 

I mean, "opened" is not the right word, he fucking ripped the concept of bowling in half and stomped on its warm entrails. I am reliably informed that the Deloitte team had 3 potential scorers in their ranks, and the opener was a bit of a gun. Will went, "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough". 

Before the first ball, Dan said something to the effect of, "Ant, why are you at slip you lazy bastard, and what are those McDonald's sunglasses, you won't catch a cold in those". Ant gave Dan the look, a look he has no doubt given Dan countless times. Then Will bowled the first ball....

I mean, it was a peach, good length, it probably moved away. the batsman propped forward and, well, he was good enough to edge it; he must have been good...it settled in Ant's ample frame. He almost lost his sunglasses... it was fucking brilliant....

Will's next ball was bollocks.... oh wait... it wasn't...straight full and moving in. What the actual fuck, Will! Leg stump was uprooted and we had a potential hattrick. We all did the things you need to do around a hat-trick ball, but happily or sadly, Deloitte sent a Shark in, Rammers, and he not only saw the ball out, but scored to it. 

Killjoy.

Another Deloitte opener perished in this singularly vicious over, bowled about 6 balls in. I think even Matt Parrish would have struggled. I'm super glad that Will chooses to channel his angry energy through cricket. 

Liam bowled from the other end and it was wholly less exciting. It's not that he did anything wrong, he just wasn't doing a Will. Heck, even Will was disappointing in his other couple of overs compared to vicious, killer, first over Will. Liam tried to murder the lady now in play by a throwing a full height and pace beamer at her face. Nice, Liam. His very next ball was close to a no ball, the gracious lady hit it into the gully region and The-Legend-That-Walks-Among-Us: Steve Mann - held a glorious catch. Liam didn't even celebrate his filth, and walked folornly to a part of the ground on his own.

At this point it became a Sharks v Jags game with Rammers and Ralph holding the fort on behalf of their accountancy benefactors. Tyler came into the attack and bowled with typical energy and verve. Sap partnered him at the other end, and was disciplined in the main, keeping the left hander quiet for the most part. Rammers retired, fluent and untroubled throughout. Ralph was doing a nice job as the sidekick, playing and missing, but sticking around.

Some of the fielding tonight was exemplary, Sap with his laser arm, Tom with his verve and energy in the field, Parrish with his, you know, captaincy and stuff. At this point Deloitte, post Rammers, sent Will's doppelganger into the batting attack. It turned out he could also bat. He had one shot. Spank. And he used it well. Spank. Spank. Spank. 

One spank too far though. He hit Tyler for 4, and Tyler's response was full pace, good length, top of your off stump. Thank you very much. A beautiful wicket, it must be said. One more player came in and played nicely, before Sap took a great catch over his shoulder just outside the ring - top fielding fella.

The Deloitte skipper came in quite late, and this period of the game brought Coslett to bowling. He was economic; he was thrilling as well. Last week Tom took a very good caught and bowled, and this week was even better. A twirl of the arm, and firm strike and Tom, my goodness he wanted this wicket, falling forward at full stretch, with a tumble and a roll for good measure.

James Barker had an over - he decided to bowl pace this week rather than off-spin... All I can say is WTAF.

The scorebook is basically chicken scratchings at this point so I'm, kind of guessing at numbers. It seemed close, but Matt was in control, turning to Ant as his final over bowler. Ant bowled well, controlling the scoring between the Deloitte skipper and the returning Rammers, before cartwheeling the skipper's leg stump with a super sized delivery. The last few balls were well fielded and well controlled, with the game briefly threatening to be close, but actually being well settled.

Trust in the skipper.

Pub attendance, as was befitting of Sap's last game, was exemplary. We still missed Cob, but pizzas, Steve Mann chat and beverages more than made up for it all. Fair thee well, Sap. Once a Jag, always a Jag.

Victory in the Enveloping Gloom at Queens

Jags 101-2 (Threadgold 25*, Ant 19*, Fardell 18*, Michael 2-12) beat AVEVA 100-10 (Chris 26, Timmins 14, Will 4-10, Coslett 3-19) by 8 Wickets

Midweek cricketers up and down the land do not look forward to August. Whilst for most people this heralds the arrival of guaranteed summer, time off and a break from the trials and tribulations of work, for midweek cricketers this means two things - less reliable weather and shitty light. This week featured both. It was a sure sign things were going to be challenging this week when I had text messages from several players asking if the game was on, given the extensive cloud cover, and even then got an unsolicited text from the groundsman asking if we were happy to play. 

Come 6pm we were at the ground and goodness me it was dark even then. Owing to another hilarious mix-up, the opposition actually turned up at Histon Recreation Ground, not Queens. I can see how the opposition skipper could have made this honest error - given the title of the email chain for this game was "Jags Cricket - 5th August - Queens". I had sourced some more genuine Readers for this one from an even more reputable source.

Parrish lost the toss and AVEVA opted to bat. We went with a revised format, 15x8 ball overs, with no changes of end until the 7th over, to try and keep what little light was available. Ant offered to drive his car to the pitch-side and put the full beams on. It was that sort of night.

 So, traditional, pink or luminous, chaps?

Opening the bowling for the Jags were Brett and Tyler. Brett put one cheeky loosener in early that the batsman shoveled to deep mid-wicket for 4. He then tightened up and was rewarded quickly with a loose edge to the waiting Parrish at first slip or so in what one would classify as a soft-ish dismissal (a squidgy dismissal?). the rest of the over was quite tidy. Tyler's first ball was absolute gubbins, short and slow and just absolute crap - so of course it got a wicket - as Tommy Hopper says, shit gets wickets, with the batsman just spooning it to a waiting catcher in the ring. Again, squidgy, much like the ground. Brett's second over would have been a maiden, had it been 6 balls, but he tossed a wide in for good measure, so it wasn't. Tyler continued with his second, and one batsman lobbed a gentle one back to him for an easy caught and bowled - but he dropped an absolute dolly. He was briefly called Teflon by me, but the name doesn't seem to have stuck...

Sap strolled into the attack in place of Brett. Cob was having a top game behind the stumps, with lots of balls being well taken having beaten the bat. One of the AVEVA openers got going a bit, pulling and punching around the ground. Sap was bowling with a reasonable amount of control, but the looser balls were being dispatched to get AVEVA moving. Sap had one caught in the end, I forget by who, but I'm sure it was well deserved. Jags were disciplined in the field, without conceding many extras through atrocious fielding, which is always nice. Sap was briefly called Tree Sap by someone, which was the high point of this stretch of the innings. 

Tyler finished his 3 over spell, good bowling, good economy, a wicket and a comedy drop, but useful overall. AVEVA were moving, but not at much of a pace, and the clouds loomed. Parrish then turned to Coslett after last week, and clearly Parrish knows something that no-one else does, as Coslett was a demon. There was a customary loosener for 4, before a couple of dots and then one of the most bizarre wickets you will ever see. Coslett gave one a lot of air to the AVEVA skipper, a lefty, and it eventually hit the turf and then slowly moved towards the batsman. The batsman in turn gently propped forward and allowed the slowest ball ever bowled to subtly kiss the outside edge of his bat. The ball then ever so slowly continued it's serene path towards Cob's gloves, and gently, almost graciously settled in them. It was at once a glorious wicket and also an utterly baffling one. 

 Local wildlife were concerned at the pedestrian pace of some of the bowling

Coslett followed this up with a couple of gentle straight slow balls. The next batsman had clearly had enough, and decided to charge headlong at the next one, missed it by miles, and Cob removed the bails. Why he hasn't been bowling all season is a mystery. Sap continued in a similar vein, the odd wide and some better balls, before the rain intervened and sent us all scurrying off. It looked so grim, Ant decided to put his boat shoes on - I mean it was pretty wet, but it didn't feel like we would need an actual boat our there. We thought it was done at this point, but an easing of the rain and agreement between the players, and we carried on. Ant actually came back on in his boat shoes, sporting a fetching ensemble from Primark/TK Maxx, depending on how much of a budget the newly expectant father currently has at his disposal.

Sap had a comedy moment around the restart point - the batsmen had scarpered a single and were safely home, he picked up the ball and everyone shouted, "easy" to calm him down. He misread this instruction as, "it is an easy run out" and launched one towards the stumps, missing by a distance, but it was fortunately backed up well. A conversation on communication methods followed, as well as the meaning of easy in English and Americanese.

Then Coslett did his thing again, first ball of his next over was pitched up, driven firmly back, and he took a wonderful caught and bowled chance, diving across the stumps. Sap rolled out of the attack and Ant came in for an over of all absolute all sorts. I'm going to say he kindly gave the opposition some runs with his patented variation.

Will then came into the attack in his place, and boy did he attack. Will has gone into the book as "Baldy", and he used his streamlined haircut to good effect. A few dots were then followed by a peach that castled the top of middle, was deflected, thankfully, past Cob, and finished on the boundary somewhere. He followed this up with a few dots and a single, before bowling another, leg stump played on, with a cracking off stump line. Thus we had two bowlers of contrasting styles, Will being his tall fast and controlled self, and Coslett finding new ways to slow down our perception of time. Will had another two caught to finish things - one was the returning opener trying to pick up the pace and the other was caught by Cob behind the stumps. This left Will with absolutely scandalous figures of 3-4-10. Coslett wasn't far behind with 3-3-19. Open them together next week, skip.

100 all out, which should be thoroughly getable, but it was so dark we moved from red to a pink ball at this stage. Parrish and Barker opened. It was testing early on - and Parrish fell to one that stuck in the really wet pitch, skied high within the ring as he was through the shot too early. Barker stuck around for a bit with Threadgold, ticking the scoring over before he fell to the same bowler in the same way, the ball sticking in the pitch, early through the shot, flying high into the air. Steve Mann had graciously joined to spectate at just the right moment to see Parrish and Barker perish. Our good luck charm, clearly.

Dan and I then came together for a decent spell to build a partnership to get us to the total. The bowling was a mix of good and not so good, and with a total like this, it is very much a case of respect the good balls and dispatch the bad. Running was keen, and the scoreboard ticked along from 30 or so from 4 overs to 69 from 7. Dan was strong on the off side, and I managed to score a four by swiping near my nose at one point. The game was beyond doubt at this point and Sap was enjoying taking videos and photos which really have driven home to me how I have let myself go a bit in this latest lockdown.

Dan retired comfortable and untroubled, with good running and good shots all round. The AVEVA skipping was having a torrid time, bowling not that well, and showing how not to field, letting a fair few through that should have been stopped. Ant had relocated some actual cricket kit and joined the batting action, and dispatched his first for four to the leg-side boundary. I managed a mid-wicket slog and then Ant decided to finish things in express fashion, hitting 2,2,4, 2 and a 4 to finish us off in the 10th over. It was very dark at the end, so dark in fact that one of the fours he hit, it took the fielders ages to find the bright pink kookaburra ball being used.

Pub attendance was great, although no Cob this week sadly. Steve joined us and lots of good beers, food and reminiscing chat was had, inside with no masks - as this is how far everything has come now. Two games left, with Parrish still in with a good shout at 300 runs for the season.

Pub Team Save the Day

Jags 136-6 (Brett 24*, Brolia 22, Sap 19*, Sam 2-23) beat Dobblers 132-7 (Butler 27*, Askew 18, Brolia 3-22, Wilde 1-16) by 4 runs

Owing to some questionable administration, the advent of the pingdemic and the vagaries of cricket at this low, low level, this one almost didn't happen. I'd booked the ground, booked the opposition, bought a match ball (at an absolute bargain price, it must be said) the weather was lovely. Then I contacted the opposition captain two days before the game and he said, "we've got 3". The next day, I pinged him again, and he said, "we've now got 2". Clearly he didn't really understand how rounding up a team works...

A few of us went into scramble mode, not wanting to lose a fixture, and sure enough, Dobblers to the rescue. We do have a lot of fun playing these chaps, and within a few short hours they had 8 or 9, we had 8 or 9 and we were back on. The original opposition captain sort of volunteered the two he had, and mentioned that he could contact the groundsman - but given the administrative skills on display I thought I'd do the rest myself. Sure enough, the two "volunteers" from the original team couldn't make it, probably as it turns out one of them had been ensnared in an unsuccessful romantic entanglement with two of our regulars. I gather it didn't end well, and the young lady decided she didn't want to see them again - whether at cricket or any other social occasion. Share and share alike, eh fellas?

Dobblers won the toss and fiendishly decided to bat. Brett and the Wildman opened the bowling with one of our genuine Readers balls. Brett has really been on one recently, and whilst he hasn't taken clutches of wickets, he is quite fun to behold with the slimline and energetic bowling action he is displaying. Cob was back doing his finest glove-work, and all was well in the world as we settled into a nice early pattern. A few wides, some decent fielding, some overall good bowling and two good opening batsmen meant this looked like being a good, competitive evening. Wilde, recently married and also sporting a new job - big summer for him clearly, was bowling with his lovely action, side on, high leading arm, good control, and no injuries getting in his way.

Scoring was gentle for a while, the high quality Readers ball perhaps proving difficult to get away, so Parrish decided to offer Phillips a go with the ball. Oh boy, was his single over of the evening quite the sight. Each individual ball was very much as Forrest Gump might have described a box of chocolates. Setting a field was a challenge. Parrish decided that he didn't want any more of this and Phillips was hooked. Then came Brolia. His first over was a warm up, clearly, 3 wides and no control. This was clearly a ploy, as it would make the batsmen think he was utter shit and make the wickets-which-you now-know-are-coming all the easier to get. Parrish also replaced Brett, saving some of him and Harry for the death overs.

Ant's second over swung into life, wicket first ball with a glorious good length ball that was vicious, dispensing with an opener by colliding with the stumps. I recall some good glove-work from Cob at this point, thrusting one of his mitts out to one side to stop a missile of a ball. Coslett and Parrish in the field were outstanding, Fardell and Phillips less so. I recall not so much diving for one, but instead gently laying down some time after it had gone past me - which probably got me some well-deserved abuse. I also dropped a chance off Parrish. Harry almost got a run out with a direct hit, but the batsman had just made it home.

Brolia followed up his missile with a wide, of course, and then bowled another, this one even better into two stumps, making that satisfying sound that lets carpenters of the world know that they will have some more work soon if he keeps this up. He then decided, to concede a 4, before bowling another, this time a well paced ball towards leg stump, sending it reeling. For all of his wickets, the fine people at the Readers cricket ball factory deserve immense credit.

Parrish was bowling nicely, but not very threateningly, apart from the one shelled chance, which was a tricky one, if we're honest. We often aren't honest. Sap popped into the attack here, having previously done some good work in the field. Sam from the Dobblers was playing lovely shots here, and Mr Askew as well, if I recall well. Sap's over was everything that can be good about this particular format - some filth, a nice shot for 4 and then one of the outstanding moments of the evening as Sap pitched one up, the batsman struck it firmly to the off side, and Sap leapt to his left and snaffled a very challenging caught and bowled chance. The prevailing reaction was one of astonishment, as though you were strolling through the park with your better half and a herd of jungle animals stampeded past you randomly, like in that one scene from Jumanji (the original good version, not the new version which is much less good); we just had not seen that coming.

 

The neighbourhood has gone wild.

He deserved it, but it just was not what anyone expected.

Parrish had to find an over from somewhere before the death, and he turned to part timer Coslett, who bowled a lovely slow controlled over for only a measily 4 runs, allowing Parrish to bring back the openers at the death. Sap continued to bowl, he never quite scaled the monumental heights of his caught and bowled, but, well, he didn't need to...

Brett and Wilde saw us home, Brett bowling one with a full ball and Wilde claiming a wicket with a really good catch by Coslett. Tom was in the ring, but it was tricky. What I mean is, I would have dropped it, so well done Mr Coslett. Ant then made absolutely sure he could not win the man of the match award by just ignoring a skied ball hit in his direction, like he had somewhere better to be - leaving Parrish to make up 30 yards of ground and almost get it. I actually think Ant was in danger of being hit on the head, either by the ball or by Parrish, maybe both.

The last over saw few runs and a comedy final run out with the batsman screaming as he failed to get home. 132-7.

Jags started with the familiar Parrish and Fardell combo. One good, one not so good. I bought some new kit recently and it really isn't working for me, so I think I might take it back. There was running and scoring, but it was slow going out there and I was about as fucking useless as I've been all season, playing and missing, not cashing in on easy chances, getting hit (I've been hit a lot this year, entirely my fault). Parrish thankfully was giving me clear instructions, so at least we kept moving. Eventually I was out to a wild swipe across the line to a nice faster ball from Jacko. And then I had a tantrum, getting back to the benches and throwing my kit on the floor like a 5 year old being denied chocolate. I'm having an absolute turd of a season, but there really is no excuse, and I apologise to all present.

Bad Fardell, naughty...

Phillips was out for a while, and scoring was still hard. Matt found his range with a few 4's and there was a good range of decent running on display, before Parrish shockingly succumbed trying to up the pace, caught at deep mid-wicket. He doesn't get out much so it's always a shock when it happens, and we were well behind the rate. Phillips hung on briefly with Ant before falling LBW to the two paced Jacko - one pace is friendly but accurate, the other pace is not at all friendly and still accurate.

Coslett and Ant found their range, good running from Coslett in particular kept us moving and Ant was also finding scoring easier with a partner who makes him run. We were 60-3 at the turn, and 132 seemed a long way away still. Ant hit a couple of middled 4's before falling playing back, bowled, to a great ball from the Dobbler's skipper, Sam.

Brett joined Coslett for a spell and the scoring moved forward again. Those on the sidelines were all of the mind that this was over, as we were a long way behind the rate, especially when Coslett fell, caught. We then had free tickets to the Cob show as he got out his best broom and swept us back towards contention, with a 2, a 2, a 2 and an absolute pearler of a 3, all forward of square, all hit with the panache and aplomb that we are now used to. Brett was hitting his range here, but sadly Cob fell, one sweep too many (as if that is a thing!).

Out strolled Sap, us needing 30 odd from 3 with 1 wicket in the hutch, a nervous looking Harry, things surely over. Then it happened. Sap played a single dot and then just biffed them, a variety of styles, some elegant, some brutal, some hilarious - all for runs. He rode his luck and Brett was having a doozy, hitting glorious shots himself, but it just felt like Sap had eaten his ready brek, followed it up by Popeye's spinach and was going to bring it home. The final over saw Jacko back, Jags needing 9, and finely in the balance it was.

Brett skied one very near the bowler, but it wasn't snaffled so they ran a single. Dobblers then tried a run out, and it missed and sped to the boundary, so our chaps ran another. No Dobblers went after it, so our chaps ran a 3rd. All this, to a ball that Brett hit about 5 yards from himself.

A couple of singles followed, before our guys did the same trick to get 2, when one was pretty near to lots of Dobblers, but no one felt like going for it, so Sap and Brett strolled through for a second. Brett then finished things in fine style with a glorious 6.

Pub attendance was ace from both sides. Man of the Match contenders were likely Brett, Coslett and Sap - all good performances, but Coslett's elegant fielding, tight over and the fact he made Ant run are what took it for me. Although Sap had an absolutely spiffing game. Ant would probably have been in contention, were he not such a lazy bugger in the field.

Ensors toasted by Bread

Jags 184-2 (Brett 28*, Hopper 28*, Parrish 25*, Phillips 23*, Aniskowicz 1-12) beat Ensors 104-5 (Gus 33, Aniskowicz 30, Sap 2-26) by 80 runs

This week saw us back at the home of cricket where Ensors joined the Jags at Queens. Despite a promising forecast the game began with some ominous looking clouds above our heads as Parrish stepped out for the toss, which ended up being 'which hand is the blade of grass in' as it's 2021 and noone carries coins anymore. After (another) successful choice from the skip we elected to bat with Barker and Parrish opening things up.

The early bowling was tight and The Jags poundland cricket balls were hooping about in the wind making it tricky to get away. The openers opted for a tap and run strategy early on to keep scoring at around a run a ball. Both bowlers were replaced after 2 overs a-piece bringing on solid set of change bowlers. James was finding his rhythm and picked found his first boundary of the day. Sadly this ended up his last contribution, being bowled by the excellent spin of Ensors captain Aniskowicz. Parrish retired shortly after on 25 with just two boundaries and a lot of singles to his name.

Tommy Hopper joined Ant at the crease and begun to form a new partnership. Both bowlers were once again hooked after two and Ensors started to really embrace the spirit of inclusivity of midweek cricket bringing on two more fresh bowlers who perhaps had a little less experience. Ant got to business quickly hitting two powerful 4s but then got a Threadgold-esque leading edge that was caught by the bowler. If that wasn't bad enough he was left with a parting gift from the bowler who smirked at him and said 'Guess you're not as good as you thought you were' and blew him a kiss. Clearly Ant made quite the impression out in the middle and must have inadvertently been giving off arrogant vibes. Less flexing at the crease please Mr Brolia.

With a big thank you to the Ensors scorer this brought newly named Liam Bread to the crease. Pressure was on as his form with the bat has been a little stale but today he looked fresh and ready to go. Bread looked a little uneasy early on though with a couple of slices down the off side. Unlike your favourite poppy seed loaf though this bread got better with age and a few well hit 2s he was on a roll! 

Ensors continued their conveyor belt of bowlers, even switching out their keeper so he could have a go! Liam and Hopper negotiated a barrage of extras, finding enough balls straight enough to hit and both retired with consecutive boundaries. Bowling extroadinaire Phillips hit the crease with Harry Wilde who both continued to score at a high rate. Ensors ended up bowling 10 different bowlers in the end and Jags cruised to a (record breaking?) 184 for 2 after 20.

Off to the field and Will, our usual opener was isolating so couldn't do the honours this week so we went a totally different direction. It just didn't feel right opening Bread without Kingsmill...

Tyler and Hopper opened up and bowled very tightly. Naturally Tyler didn't meet his own high standards but impressed the opposition with his opening spell. Hopper got the first wicket (who else!?) to much applause and celebration from the Jags, aside from Liam who was seen pounding his fists into the ground in the outfield. 

We decided to try and match Ensors for total amount of bowlers so Hopper quickly made way for Sap bowled a very tidy first 11 balls of his spell before being smashed for a big 6. Barry Wilde joined the action with some masterful long hops luring the Ensors skipper into a false sense of security before bowling him with a peach. He was unlucky to be taken off but with the start of the Ensors players coming in without cricket gear we thought he might be a bit too good... Naturally Parrish and Phillips were the more appropriate combo for the situation.

Phillips graciously bowled them a load of rubbish and was hit beautifully for 6 by the new bat. This might have been stopped if it wasn't for Liam Bread's downright refusal to follow the captain's insturctions and get on the fence. Parrish (Gareth) managed to sneak in a couple of overs relatively unharmed whilst Phillips' yielded a lofty 22 from his 12 balls. 

The end of the innings saw Liam and Ant join the attack with some pretty attacking fields for T20. This actually prompted what was probably the best cricket moment of the day with Liam finding a genuine edge to second slip, caught by Parrish. James saw things out with a maiden giving the Jags 9 bowlers on the day so Ensors were worthy winners in the total bowlers category. Cob took back duties behind the stumps trading blows with Ant throughout the innings. Fortunately he wasn't hit in the head this week but he did take one on the helmet....sadly it was sitting on the floor at the time and cost 5 runs though.

At the end of the game both teams went off to the Red Bull, Jags the victors by 80 runs this week. Noone wanted to keep hold of the match ball, which had basically split in two by the end of 40 overs!

Bidwells Biff the Jags

Jags 133-6 (Threadgold 26*, Parrish 25*, Fardell 23, Coles 2-13) Lost to Bidwells 134-5 (Colesy 27*, Scott 26*, Jack 25*, Banks 25*, Will 2-6) by 5 wickets

This week saw us switch grounds to the lovely King and Selwyn to play Bidwells. Bidwells are a team that the Jags used to play, and lose to, most seasons, and after a hiatus we desired a return to the old familiar pattern. Pre-match "banter" was centered around the address of the ground. I wouldn't describe it as humourous. At all. The fact this qualifies as chat at all in 2021 demonstrates how low social standards have slipped during these extended and dark periods of isolation we've all suffered through COVID.

 

This is the address. Saying it over and over again does not qualify as acceptable chatter.

There was a monumental disaster before the game, with our hirusute Geordie, Cob, ruling himself out of proceedings owing to a hangover from watching England play Denmark in the football. Cob is very hardy, so he must have literally drunk all of the drinks.

How I imagine Cob's flat looked at about midday

 

Jags won the toss and Parrish and Fardell started proceedings. It was a tricky opening spell to start, partially as it was full on raining when we went out to bat. I had water droplets hanging from the visor of my extremely new helmet for most of my innings (having recently bought an entirely new load of kit in order, as I think my old kit is tainted or something). Parrish was off in the runs in typically rumbunctious style, flaying a few threes and fours for good measure. It hit a boundary from a rubbish half track pie - it's a 4 in the book so I'll take it. 

Energetic running between the wickets and good calling kept the scoreboard ticking over. Exactly what rate, I couldn't precisely tell you, as Ant was doing the scorebook, and in typical laid back style, he did bits of it, but not all of it. Matt retired without too much ado, he's on a mega streak for the Jags - 224 runs and out once... 

 

Barker kept me company for a bit and then a hilarious period of play that saw my demise. I gentle paddled a ball to the square boundary that somehow went for 6. I was called back to the pavilion as they had deemed I had reached 25 and it was time for retirement. My first of the season, hurrah. I got about half way back to the pavilion when I was sent back bat - as Ant's languid scoring approach meant I probably hadn't got 25. So I stroll back in, honestly angry as fuck that Ant and Phillips didn't manage to get a GCSE in maths between them. The immediate next ball was a full toss that hit me in the, "Gentlemanly Region". It took me quite some time to recover from this. Everyone laughed (as indeed would I), but my goodness it hurt, and hasn't been the correct colour since.Tommy H at umpire then mentioned he was thinking of giving me LBW for ball breaking delivery - but there hadn't been an appeal. All round bantz.

Barker hit an absolutely cracking 4 through the offside region, and we did some scurrying to keep the total ticking along, before I ran myself out pushing James for a non-existent single. I was at least grateful that I didn't run him out. Dan joined James for a bit and the score was 72-1-10 at this point. A really nice platform for a 150 plus total. Dan and James kept things moving mainly in singles at this point, before a not-so-well-judged second run - which for the record I think was there for the taking, saw Dan send James back - with no hope of him actually getting back.

Ant strolled out to join Dan and we then hit that fallow late afternoon period of day 3 of the test match. Ant and Dan put on a nice display of blocking and not running for about 4 overs, which saw 14 runs scored in just under 5 overs. Ant was eventually bowled, a rather tasty ball from Mr Brown of Histon 1st XI fame, and Cozzy joined proceedings. Dan and Cozzy stepped things up here, Dan hitting a couple of lovely 4's down the ground and Cozzy hitting some lovely fours to the square leg boundary. Threadgold retired with this late flurry of biffing, an innings of two halves, it must be said.

Hopper was out for a bit, not many balls to go so had to swing a bit, got a few runs and was bowled pretty quickly. Phillips did a similar trick, out for a bit and then bowled quickly. James' Dad had kindly volunteered to replace Cob after a mix up in his own scheduled game. He also didn't manage to trouble the scorers and the Jags innings was in danger of finishing with a whimper, before Cozzy and Will got us home with some late late runs - Will hitting a lovely 2 and then an absolutely gorgeous 6 over wide long on. 133 felt short of par this week, particularly as it had stopped raining and Bidwells had lots of chaps who looked like they knew which end of the bat to hold.

 

It was either a case of take wickets, or keep the scoring low. We went with the latter. Will and Tyler opening the bowling. Will began with a maiden and Tyler was bowling some lovely tight lines, making scoring really quite difficult. Tyler only went for 4 an over in his 4 over spell, which is quite something in this evening 20/20 games. Will bowled one in his second over with a jaffa, and the other was run out by a phenomenal piece of fielding from Mr Threadgold, picking up at mid off, taking aim and direct hit splattering the stumps. Skipper, Parrish, taking duties behind the stumps.

 

Will stepped out of the attack, ready to return later on, and Phillips came in. At this point Bidwells had scored about 30 odd runs from almost 8 overs and were being strangled by good bowling, and generally decent fielding. The wheels were soon to come off the bus though. Phillips did a bit of bowling, insisting to all who would listen that his variation in balls was not absolutely random, but very deliberate and controlled. He was spanked about a bit for a few 4's, mainly from his shorter balls and was a touch on the pricey side, it must be said. Hopper joined him at the other end, and was given a bit of the long handle treatment as well, as both Bidwells batsmen found their stride.

 

At 10 overs, they had put on 55, and it felt like the game was in the balance. Unfortunately, this was the point at which we all decided to forget how to field. Some loose pickups in the field, a terrible throw from yours truly, and not enough pressure on the singles, allowed Bidwells to accelerate the scoring quite spectacularly at this point. One rocket went towards Ant at short mid off, catchable, but it would have been a good catch. Ant was clearly worried about the expensive dental work that would have followed had he been hit in the globe, so pulled himself completely out of the way.

Two retirees came and went, runs flowed and the next two were into their stride quickly. Ant came in to bowl and produced an absolute joyous yorker with one that was only just kept out by the bat. Hopper got a nicely bowled one with his third over. One of the two batsmen retired bringing in a bit of a bunny to the crease. Ant thought about bowling outside off to keep him in and give us a chance... but he also thought about his average, and decided to take the top of off instead.

Will and Dan were then in tandem, with 5 overs to go 103 runs on the board. Will did a similar thing to Ant, looking at a bunny, he tried to bowl outside off, but was just too straight, and castled him. At the other end, things got very bad in a hurry - as the Bidwells skipper looked at Dan running in to bowl and decided that it was walloping time, hitting him for 2,4, dot, 4, and finishing with a monster 6 over long off.

At the end it was left to one seasoned Bidwells battler, Walter to partner a less experienced colleague in a not-as-tense-as-it-looked chase, with Bidwells home and hosed with 2 overs to spare.

I've not put too much detailed commentary in here, but our fielding was pretty shambolic for periods of this game. Ah well, onwards and upwards. Ensors up next.

Postscript - It turns out that Bidwells actually fielded with 12 players for their entire innings without anyone noticing. So, technically, we could call this a win - were we a petty bunch.

Done and Dusted - Deloitte Fall at Queens

 Jags 131-6 (Brolia 28*, Hopper 28*, Parrish 27*, Clarke 2-22) beat Deloitte 123-7 (Baker 17*, Walker 15*, Doyle 15, Tyler 2-13, Philips 2-22) by 8 runs

Spoiler alert, we didn't draw this one. 

The Jags have been playing Deloitte since our first season in 2011. Jagex - our alma mater, used to use Deloitte as one of our accounting firms, so they treated us to a lovely game of cricket once a year, some M and S sandwiches and snacks and the occasional adult beverage. It has always been a fun fixture, and this one was played at Queens. 

I love Queens - it's just such a wonderful place to play cricket, just walking to the side of the pitch feels like we're digging for victory during the Blitz and seeing off Jerry at the same time.

You had me at M and S club sandwich

Jags won the toss (well fucking done, skip) and decided to bat first. Parrish and and Barker started things going. It was another week of contrasting opening bowlers, with one medium and accurate and the other left arm over loopy and slow. More on this anon. Both were quickly into their strides, with Parrish hitting a couple of lovely on side drive/pull shots. Barker managed to take one opener on early, hitting him straight back over his head to both sides for some nice scoring shots. Jags started, as we do, quickly and with purpose.

Barker looked well set, but was deceived by a slower ball and chipped it high into the air, where it was well snaffled. Fardell strolled to the crease, watched a wide past his leg stump then was pinned LBW to the slowest most depressing and un-threatening ball I think I've ever got out to (left arm loopy and slow). The less said the better. Hopper had been elevated to the lofty heights of 4 and quickly joined Matt in keeping the scoreboard ticking over. Deloitte had plenty of bowling, various in types, but pretty consistently good it must be said. 

Parrish almost fell to backward square hoicking high, but the fielder quite clearly did not fancy it at all and let it fall to ground. Hopper, fresh from his run out last week, decided that vocal communication with his batting partner was the order of the day. Parrish retired - did you ever doubt I would be saying that - and Hopper was extremely briefly partnered by Coslett. Coslett sadly hit his own stumps and had to stroll off. The less said of this the better. 

Brolia and Hopper then set about it. I recall some good running from Hopper, some good shot making from Ant to the leg side, and a nice partnership feel to proceedings. It was a crucial phase as, after a good start, the Jags had lost a couple of wickets in short order and slowed a bit, so pushing on was really important to set a good total. Ant hit one checked drive that I quite liked, and Hopper finished with 2,6,4 - absolutely spanking the leather from one to make absolutely sure he retired. 

Cob joined proceedings briefly. He looked as hungover as a man could look. His first shot, a sweep.... missed the ball and he was bowled. The less said about this the better. Phillips hustled for a bit, Ant retired from a well crafted innings, and then Will walked in - absolutely spanked one to deep square leg, and was caught. 4 lovely ducks in this innings, Jags. A few batsmen have some questions to answer. Also, Will always seems to get out hitting a glorious massive shot that is somehow magnetically attracted to a fielder deep on the boundary.

Sap kept Phillips company for a bit - but Phillips then did the wrong thing, he hit an on drive really well to long on. The fielder caught it nicely and was then heard to exclaim to his assembled team mates, "that's my first ever catch in cricket". Phillips, you managed to pop someone's cherry... you dirty dog.

Sap was joined by Tyler for the last few overs, and they both did really well. Strong bowling was on display, but good running, nice shot placement, and a gorgeous drive from Tyler helped us get to a a modest but defendable 131.

Jags had three options for keeper tonight. Cob was too hungover to do it. Phillips is just so so so annoying behind the stumps. So Parrish took the gloves, prepping for his game at the weekend for the 2's. Yeah, whatever skip.

The Jags bowling started well, Will was his normal high and mighty self from one end, but Tyler was really on it tonight. His first over only went for two, and his constant energy and pressure paid off well. The second over was really quite a doozy, venom and aggression on full display and it got the wicket it deserved, a batsman trying to release the shackles hoicked it high into the air. Sap settled and held on really well. Nice early breakthrough. 

Will somehow went wicket-less through this period, but his bowling was mostly very good, with the occasional piece of rank filth thrown in for good measure. Fielding quality was also very high tonight. Tyler carried on with direct aggression and was further rewarded with one of the two best wickets tonight, bowled with an absolutely gorgeous full length yorker, full of intent, absolutely destroying off stump.

Then we had a moment to savour for the ages. Will bowled, the batsman hit it to mid on, and Barker mis-fielded. Ant ran... no fuck that... he sprinted, to cover for his team mate. Like quickly and stuff. It was like, what... who the fuck are you dude?!

Deloitte were really struggling to score here: the bowling was good, the fielding was good (including Ant), and some of the banter was ok. It was a rare evening for the Jags. 

Will and Tyler had to step out of the attack as they had bowled the allotted amount. Ant stepped in and his bowling was, erm... the first over was crap. Only some generous umpiring meant he went for 6 in the book. Sap bowled nicely for an opening spell, seeing one caught taking him on. At the other end Ant tightened his lines second over and a full dipping fast yorker saw off one batsman. It was really quite a ball; I have no idea how you play a ball like that.

Jags were well ahead here, so we had the fun times. Phillips in to bowl. He is normally a keeper; something of a loudmouth. His bowling was actually pretty solid. He bowled 5 decent balls in his first over, but he got a wicket with the 6th, and oh my god it was absolute filth. Half track, if that, no bounce, batsmen tried to score and Will took it nicely. We all still think he's a plonker though, and it was a wicket not to celebrate.

Sap had bowled well, and got another wicket with an edged behind, well taken by the skipper, and I must say generously conceded by the batsman. The other things to note at this point were some fine fielding, some good banter (one batsman had squeaky pads and WD40 suddenly became funny chat), and some brilliant boundary riding by Tyler, who has an arm on him, mark my words. Most of the banter was directed at Phillips though, including some by himself to himself.

Barker came in to take over from Sap, and bowled some nice lines. Tommy Hopper didn't field everything perfectly, but mostly otherwise, this was nice and solid. I managed to Matrix swerve some balls hit at me in the interests of saving my good looks, but it didn't matter at this point as Deloitte were well short coming to the final over.

A nice game, pleasant evening, too many ducks, but some cracking bowling and fielding from Tyler, some excellent batting from Matt, Tommy and Ant and a, dare I say, disciplined performance, saw us home.

Pub attendance was Jags only, although we were luckily joined by the irrepressible Steve Mann.

Ant is busy...