Life's a Beach

Jags 128/4 (Parrish 30, Barker 28*, Phillips 17*, Chandrasekhar 1-20) beat Waterbeach 116-6 (Bridger 26, Pradeep 24*, Yaxley 3-29) by 12 runs

Man of the Match - Parrish

A tense league game saw the Jags out come out on top at the end, with some great death bowling, good fielding and an ace team mentality resulting in a 3rd league win of the season.

League cricket requires us to venture away from the comfort of our normal college pitches. The Cambridge colleges spend rather a lot on their pristine grounds, and the groundsmen do a rather fantastic job all round, with gorgeously manicured outfields, nicely patterned squares and batting tracks that (mostly) play true, along witt cultured backdrops that are quintessentially English. 

One might be deceived into thinking that English Villages would be more of the same, such is the cliche of our green and pleasant lands. Do not fall into this trap, at least half the village pitches I've played at are awful. Outfield's with more craters than no man's land on day 4 of the Somme. "Squares" that are a combination of shapes, or not discernible at all. Crooked wickets and tracks that are not flat, nor true, with bounce in the entirely unpredicatable category. Some of them are downright dangerous.

This week, step forward Exhibit A - the Waterbeach Recreation Ground. It's never a good sign that an entire ground, square, tracks and all, is used for football in the winter and cricket in the summer. Before the game a patch of wild grass was noted next to the wicket, which apparently is being left to grow in order to protect a rare orchid. The other side there is a manhole cover very near the strip. The pavilion looks like it could be a backdrop for Call of Duty Warzone, doubling up as something from war torn Syria. Lots of random members of the public were also just aimlessly loitering about, in the batsmen's eyeline, or just randomly screaming things during the game.

It looked awful. I didn't need confirmation of this, but I am not moving to Waterbeach anytime soon.

The sign that welcomes you to Waterbeach Recreation Ground

Chatting to the local team using my fabled small talk skills before we began, I managed to get the following additional facts. 

1) Last summer a band of travelling gypsies set up camp on the cricket field for several months, leaving behind the usual devastation, and "it hasn't been quite the same since". 

2) Around this time the groundsman's shed had been broken into and all of his groundskeeping gear had been stolen and the "insurance had taken a while to get it sorted". 

3) The groundsman had been off for a few weeks ill, and had then gone on holiday, "I think it's been rolled this year, but I can't remember". 

Facts 1 and 2 seem likely to be related to the casual, sightly prejudiced, observer, although the police investigation was inconclusive.

I've spent rather a lot of time on the pitch so far because honestly it was the defining characteristic of this game.

Matt won the toss and opted to bat, putting Fardell in as number 2. The first few balls were quite friendly, if we're going to be completely honest - as the bowlers seemed terrified to use the strip itself and offered a few full tosses. Matt was into his stride, Fardell more cautious, but scoring started at a decent pace with 22 from the first 3 (8 ball) overs being a good return. Fardell was the first to be done by the pitch, a naff ball outside off that would normally be easy pickings, took off from the pitch in near vertical fashion towards my face - I should have pulled out of the shot, but didn't and offered an easy catch to backward point.

Ant had kindly joined us this week, a newish lady in tow, fresh from looking after his son. One of the first balls he faced, medium and pitched on a length, shot straight over his head. The next ball he faced in the same spot died and shot past the stumps. When the gents exchanged a single, a ball to Matt did exactly the same, just hitting the deck and shooting at ankle height past off. Utterly unplayable; nothing to do with the bowler. Matt continued scoring, quite impressive all things considered, and Ant found a few shots before he was run out pushing for a tight single. 

Phillips joined the fray, and scoring was all running at this point. Phillips never wears a helmet, he is very much not concerned with his looks, but he ended up taking one out simply to preserve his life. It didn't matter what the bowlers did, good or bad, any ball could do anything. Matt fell playing onto this own wicket, having scored at a good clip in trying conditions for one of the most hard earned 30's you will ever see. Kris was out and about for a bit, before a ball randomly climbed in his direction and he chipped off to a fielder. The only advantage to the awful pitch was it handed us rather a lot of extras - a couple of boundary wides were really quite worth a replay.

Barker then joined Phillips and honestly, they got us where we needed to be in a delightful partnership. There weren't many boundaries, but courtesy of Mr Phillips pushing James hard, there were a lot of 2's, including 4 consecutive 2's at one point. Barker was scoring nicely, and I won't call it chanceless, but they both scored well given circumstances. It was also funny seeing Barker wheezing quite a lot with all the springing - given his age, it made all the slightly less fit gentlemen in the team have a good old giggle.

There was time at the end for a hilarious misfield - where Waterbeach turned a dot ball into 4 runs by a combination of awfulness in the field that I can't quite describe in words. Cheers chaps. 

 The view from mid off

128-4 is normally a touch light, but on this pitch it felt absolutely ok, with a strip that was all but unplayable - showing Matt's 30 as the touch of class it was in a sea of tumult.

The classic opening bowling partnership of Brett and Bennett started up and boy was it good. Liam didn't get a wicket first over, but he did bowl an 8 ball maiden. Bennett was tight too - conceding few in the first over. Thus it continued. Waterbeach were simply not scoring at any pace to these 2, not least because the pitch was carrying on as it had, turning balls into bouncers, or shooters, or sending them off in random directions at will. The first wicket eventually came in Liam's 3rd over. Perhaps feeling the pressure, the batsmen set off for a tight single. Kris picked it up in the covers and scored a direction hit run out, laser sharp and perfectly launched in a very crickety fashion.

Scoring continued to prove very very slow, Brett and Bennett had really turned the screw - with Brett going for a frankly ridiculous 4 runs in total from 24 balls. Savage twirled in to the attack - and his lovely languid left arm action was well suited to the pitch. At 7 overs Waterbeach were 40 runs for 1 wicket, leaving a lot to do, and whilst our opening bowlers had gone wicketless, they had made it an incredibly difficult ask. One batsman tried to unfurl a few strikes, and succeeded in taking Savage on, and then Yaxley (who had replaced Bennett). Matt, sensing that the batsman had a favoured area set a more catching legside field and presicient as ever, the batsman pulled to backward square, straight down the throat of the waiting Fardell.

Kris came into the attack and quickly scored again, pinning one chap LBW. Yaxley, not to be outdone, bowled another with a great little ball, one of the few I would say that didn't really need any help from the pitch. Waterbeach were well behind the rate here, so their new chap just went at it from the start, hitting 4's and 6's with reckless abandon. Things got a bit tense, as a few overs pushed Waterbeach on and it looked to be closer at over 12 than it had been at over 10. Kris also conceded 2 wides to a ball that pitched in line with middle on a good length, and just randomly took off to head somewhere between fine leg and backward square.

Yaxley had time to get another, bowled in similar fashion to the first (the opener no less) to finish on 3-29 - which would have been MOTM numbers in many a game. Matt had done a sterling job behind the stumps, and had stood up a lot despite the conditions, keeping batsmen firmly crease bound.

Savage returned with Kris to be trusted with the last over. Phillips shelled a dolly from Savage and Bennett was incensed - asking Adam "dropping that - why are you even here?!". He doesn't have any friends, T, so this is the best he's gonna get. 

The disappointment was short lived - as the same batsman went big to long on-ish, and Tyler was there, settling under the catch to take it nonchalantly on the boundary edge - almost in a striking riposte to the Phillips' error. Kris bowled masterfully in the last over, death bowling extraordinaire - to get the Jags over the line - notable for its complete control and my complete lack of anything to say as a result. Every ball a peach.

Afterwards the Jags retired to the Bridge for some light refreshments, well those of us who go to pubs after the game, and we all decided that the strip should be an honorary Jag, such was the influence on proceedings.

I am never ever playing in this filth-hole again.