Friday, 28 June 2024

Youngsters bring the music in low scoring burner

Jags 107/4 (Meldal 50*, Murray C 25*, Bennett 15) beat Cambridge NCI 106/7 (Furlow 30, B Savage 20-2) by 6 wickets.

MOTM - Meldal

This friendly didn't feel like a 20/20 game for reasons I will go into below, but we'll still take our third win of the season at Queens. 

NCI won the toss and elected to bat, as is their right. We started with Messrs Bennett and Barker. Both bowled quite well, but honest to goodness the batsmen just spent the first 6/7 overs not trying to hit a thing. It was block block block and I almost fell asleep standing up in the field as there was no scoring or even attempts at scoring. They had crawled to 13 or so after 7 overs without loss (all scored by one of the batsmen). Well done fellas, keeping those wickets for the explosive finish. 

Spoiler alert: there was no explosive finish.

After 6 overs, Matt realised he would need to change things if we were to actually get any time batting, so he turned and threw the cherry to Phillips replacing Bennett (who had an economy of 1.33). Phillips actually bowled quite well, a combination of looseners feeding them some runs and better balls. It was very box of chocolates/Forrest Gump, which was good for the game situation.

Phillips, you never know watchya gonna get

Barker eventually took out the first wicket of one of the openers. Who fell for 0. From 15 balls. With not a single shot of intent played at any point. They even turned down pretty easy singles. Caught by Meldal. Barker then stepped out of the attack for Mr Savage.

The batsmen slowly crawled to 28-1 off 9 overs. A low 60's score was in prospect, and people were so disinterested in the snoozefest ahead of them that one of them (let's call him Ant), just let a ball sail past him that was easily gettable to help give them some runs.

The batsmen slowly began to accumulate runs and things started to get somewhere. Not somewhere exciting mind. Just somewhere. I recall Savage really not fancying a skied catch off his own bowling, and it was still really rather slow. Mr M Christie was doing some nice things behind the stumps. Phillips then got the other opener, caught by Felix Day on debut. This left him with one more wicket than Mr Bennett in this game, but of course he is far too modest to mention such things and certainly wouldn't tell Tyler over and over again about this feat.

The runs were still not quite flowing - so desperate times called for desperate measures, and I was called into the, [ahem], attack to perhaps offer a few generous nice gentle runs to the opposition. Benjy got a wicket, probably deserved, the batsman top edged it and Murray took the unorthodox overhand wicket keeper catch with the gloves position in front of the stumps. He was just trying to entertain us all by making it look hard.

Then my turn. A couple of very slow dots, were followed by a ball that should never be allowed in cricket. I bowled an almost two bounce legside wide, short, hitting a 4th stump outside leg stump. All the batsman had to do was get out the way and it was a no ball or wide, or even both to be honest. He didn't do that. He tried to get in position to hit it. What followed defied all physics. He somehow stopped the ball from bouncing twice with his left leg, which flicked it upwards onto his right leg. His right leg then sort of twitched and his knee hit the ball onto leg stump with all the force of a feather floating from the sky. It was, however, somehow enough to dislodge the bails.

No one celebrated. I was in shock and the batsman trudged off. There was silence and then just laughter. The rest of the over saw a single a dot and a wide. So I had 1 wicket for 3 runs from an over we had put on to give them some fun.


If there was a tale about a race between a snail and a Fardell bowled ball, the snail would win.

Savage and I continued and they really still didn't pick up the pace, but at least they scored some runs here and there. I gave a more generous second over, throwing pies down and the batsmen realising that no, this wasn't some Jedi mind trick, it really is just slow loopy unthreatening bowling so tried to hit it. Well done lads. There was a further moment of comedy introduced by my bowling where I bowled a slow over head height full toss and neither umpire made any signal - so I had to sheepishly say to them, "gents, I just bowled a no ball, do you want to signal for it to the scorers?". They obliged. The umpires where the opening batsmen at this point, languid it seems even when umpiring.

Savage and I were replaced by Boud and Felix Day. Felix got a wicket stumped and saw another dropped by Phillips and I, as neither of us really went for it. Boud did not get a wicket. Parrish replaced Boud, really eager to try and give them some runs, and he did. There was then a Bennett run out at the end and NCI had managed 106-7. 

It was a low total - we had done our best to inflate it, but despite the juicy pies on offer, NCI had just not been hungry.

The chase was pretty straightforward from what I recall. Meldal and Ant started, with Freddie taking a little time to get going, and Ant losing his leg stump early - with his beau watching on the sidelines (she somehow missed his wicket).

Murray and Freddie then accumulated nicely. Freddie eventually took a shine to one bowler and biffed 4,4,6,4 in one over to end up retiring on a nice round 50.

Boud joined things for a bit. Murray hit four lovely consecutive shots for 0, a late cut, a cover drive then two more lovely late cuts. His Dad was following proceedings from afar on PlayCricket and indicated he was disappointed with the 60 strike rate he ended up with.

Boud fell caught having a slap and Felix Day joined us on debut. He found it hard to score, but was a willing runner, but ending up bowled top of off. 

We then sent Tyler in to bat, he wasted no time walloping the ball here and there. Jags comfortably ahead of the rate, and we got a Tyler 6, deep square, absolute wallop, and it was dropped by Phillips over the rope for good measure. He fell LBW for 15 from 7, and all he could do as he left the ground was shout, "I hit a 6!" like some excited puppy.

Barker brought things to a close with Murray as we cruised home in the 17th over with 6 wickets to spare, finishing with a Barker 4.

It was a slightly odd game because we lost the toss, and they never really looked like putting a total together, but we still had fun and went to the pub. I reckon somewhere out there the openers are telling their wives or girlfriends that they had a great role in a 3 day test match. It didn't ruin the game, but lads, at some point you have to hit out or get out.

Tuesday, 11 June 2024

Tik-Tok-Tastic win for Jags

Jags 153-5 (Ant 40, Matt 39, Fardell 33) beat Cambourne 2's 140-9 (Abbott 40, Houlder 23, Mailes 3-19) by 13 runs.

MOTM - Fardell

This was one of those evening games that had pretty much everything and is exactly why we play this maddening sport. We were back at Queens (woohoo) for the first time this year and we had a strong XI for our first league fixture of the season. There was no possibility of bad weather, and we've played these chaps before in some nice competitive, good natured fixtures, so it was all set up to be a cracker, and it did not disappoint.

Matt won the toss and the tried and tested partnership with Ant got off to a contrasting start. Captain fantastic was struggling early on, but surviving, whilst Ant was off to an absolute flyer, tonking the ball this way and that, with a cow corner shot bisecting the fielders that I recall rather well, and a harumph of a six back down the ground, hit with all the disdain you might expect of the man who holds the record for "Most Just Eat Deliveries Ordered - Cambridgeshire - 2024". It was pretty much boundaries or dots early on, once we'd got off to quite a clip, being 57 without loss after 8 overs without loss, Matt found his stride, and then did a hilarious thing. He made Ant run. A lot. 2's, 3's, 1's, lots of them back to back.

Ant looked absolutely shattered, but kept going, and towards the end of a top 20/20 innings, he was just swinging. One fielder on the long on boundary just did not fancy it at all, Ant was sure he was out, but then realised he had to run some more as he'd not been caught out. He eventually fell, caught with a tired shot to Warburton and crawled off for 40 off 33 balls, and fairly chipper applause from the sidelines. It had been a monster innings, getting us to 79 without loss from 10 overs, to set up a great platform to hit 150+. Mailes went out to join Mr Parrish, who had found his range (as he often does) by hitting a monster 6. 

Did somebody say, unfit

The bowling had been rather mixed, some good stuff and some really not good stuff, often in the same over. One thing to note though, the guest wicket keeper for Cambourne was absolutely brilliant, showcasing the sort of glovework you rarely see in evening cricket. We had 3 keepers (Cob, Phillips and Matt) almost taking notes throughout. Chris struggled to get going, and fell to a tricky one top of off, bringing me out. Matt gave me a pep talk about not letting wickets tumble, and I defended my wicket with graceless shots the first two balls, before clipping a 4 off my toes to a generous legside one to get goin, after having also been gently coached and encouraged, genuinely, by the keeper. Cheers chap.

Matt wasn't around for much longer as we had, for the second game in a row, let Tyler umpire. He was only at square leg so what could possibly go wrong. Well. Matt called me through for a cheeky single, and old trigger finger was there again, ready to pounce and give the run out. Matt was less than happy, although Tyler was adamant. Still 39 from 30 balls, not too shabby. Phillips joined me for a fair bit, and both of us found a few boundaries, keeping out the good stuff and hitting the bad stuff. They had one left round bowler who was brought on to do some damage as he was quite good apparently. However,  with us being, both, 'ahem' less than orthodox, this proved to be manna from heaven, he just kept bowling me turny legside stuff which meant my wagon wheel could remain the pizza slice it always is without any real danger.

We then had a hilarious episode where a no ball garnered a free hit. The bench signalled for it. Phillips told me it was a free hit. Tyler did the twirly arm motion and the bowler delivered a nice full delivery. Which I plopped forward and gently did a forward defensive to. I will say that the reason was, I can be an absolute idiot sometimes (my wife would thoroughly agree with this). We then entered the period that I'm going to call the Phillips Spin Class - where, wherever the ball went off either of our bats, we were running. Singles, doubles, and a three where I turned down the fourth that was eminently on offer. At this point we were nearing the end, Phillips did a hilarous 4 where he stepped across his stumps and hoiked it to deep backward square.

Must keep running...

I then faced another free hit, I definitely knew about it this time, but I was 'not out' caught to it, so two free hits in one game pretty much wasted. At 149-3 I fell in the last over, run out without grounding my bat and off for a pint or two of water. Phillips and Barker finished us off getting us to a solid 153-5 in the end with Phillips falling at the death. It could have been more had two of our batsmen not been less than sprightly.

Bennet and Barker started things, and one of the Cambourne lads came out with a gopro on his helmet as he's doing a Tik Tok or something. At 42 I have lost interest in most things that aren't pipe and slippers and social media can get in the bin as far as I'm concerned. Camera lad hit a lovely four, before being bowled by Barker - and since he had a camera on his helmet, Barker gave him a right old send off as well so he can put it on his Myspace page or whatever. The other batsman edged one behind to Matt, but wasn't out - I don't think there was anything unsporting involved, he just didn't know he'd hit it and the umpire didn't give him.

Bennet then got the same batsman with an absolute belter of a catch, which was almost as good as Liam's last year. Tyler can, on occasion, let himself down in the catching department, but not it seems when it counts against his bowling figures. The opener absolutely creamed a fast one back at Tyler at ankle height, which he took cleanly inches from the turf. 

 

 Off his own bowling, Tyler would stop even this.

We had two batsmen at the crease and the new one gently started by chipping a ball to Phillips at covers, who promptly shelled it. It would prove a costly drop, as this lad played the best innings I think I've seen in evening cricket from there on in. He took a shine to everyone, probably most notably Barker, and hit two sixes, one of which was basically a forward defensive that just took off and hit the sight screen. He also hit a reverse slog sweep, deliberately, for 4, and was dropped by Mailes leaping like a South African salmon (which apparently was caught on camera by Mr Go Pro), for a tough chance at mid off. It was exhibition stuff all round.

Cob and Cooper did some fine work in the field that I recall, even I had a nice stop at square, and Cooper bowled an economic spell of controlled medium after some early looseners. Liam did some good stuff, but was nursing a sprain so had to look after himself. Mailes came in to bowl as well to try and arrest an accelerating partnership with his rapid stuff, replacing Bennet. 

I had yet another hilarious moment of the game, although this was more successful, as their number 3 clipped it to square leg and set off for a non-single. The run out was going to be straightforward whatever happened, but I made it anything but, slowly bowling the ball underarm on the floor towards the wicket keepers end (I am getting old). Matt had no idea what to do behind the stumps, so just waited, and hoped, and waited some more. Thankfully it eventually hit legstump, gently dislodged one bail, and the chap was out. This wasn't the dangerman mind, so we were still in trouble. 74-3 after 11 overs.

Despite the injury, Liam then came to the rescue, bowling a full yorker to the tricky chap, that would have hit probably 2/3 stumps, and was promptly given out LBW. He'd scored 40 off 24 in a devastating spell of really rather gorgeous looking batting. Liam had to limp off at this point, his body held together as it is at the moment with mainly hopes and dreams. Baker came into partner Mailes in bowling, and the new batting pair included the amazing keeper, who also, quelle surprise, turned out to be a cultured batsman, hitting some correct, but devastating 4's on his way to trying to get a decent partnership going with the Cambourne skipper, re-starting momentum going after a devastating double wicket blow.

Tyler did some fine work in the field that I recall, as he was keeping one over in the tank for the end. Mailes then extracted a wicket, top edged high to square leg for an easy catch for yours truly. I'd been, "in the game" shall we say. Baker got a wicket clean bowled, and Mailes extracted the classy keeper with another clean bowled just when he'd found his range. Mr Baker did some fine work in the deep here that I recall when not bowling, and Matt kept making good fielding adjustments to keep things sensible.

We then got a little complacent at this point, as wickets tumbled and the rate accelerated, 105-7 off 15 and it felt a hard ask for the tail. I wouldn't say we were sloppy in the field, but there wasn't the killer instinct you should maintain to be sure. Perhaps we were dreaming of the pub.

 
Where our minds were at 5 overs left.

Abdul had other ideas though, joining Mr Ashman for a spell, he decided that he would ensure they went down swinging, moving out of his crease to most balls and bludgeoning 4,4,2,4,1 in his first 5 balls. Mailes then bowled the other guy leg stump, to leave Abdul wanting not for intent, but for partners, with only two left. Still at 130-8 from 18, 22 runs separated the teams with Abdul on strike.

Bennet came back in and got a bit of tap from him, going for 9, but taking the other batsman last ball, leaving the equation at 139, 14 needed from the last over.

Cooper was tossed the cherry, and did his absolute best Chris Jordan impression, bowling an absolutely ridiculous last over, with the game in the balance to concede one run. One chuffing run. The Cambourne throng were even stood around the scoreboard waiting to keep the score ticking over, but they were underemployed. Credit to Paul in particular for not being put off by the aggressive footwork, and adjusting his length judiciously to Abdul's tricky antics. We call him whispering death.

They finished on 140, and in a slight seesaw innings, we saw lots of good stuff all round with many contributors and a solid start to life in league one.

We retired to the Red Bull, too late for food, but not for beer and a magnificent evening was then enhanced by Steve Mann turning up at the pub to improve the chat. Cob was handed his Jags cap and shirt and celebrated with a stogie.

The beard, the cigar, the cap, the shirt - we got this

Friday, 7 June 2024

Season Warmup - 2 fixtures summarised

I've neglected my match writing duties somewhat at the start of this season, as kids, work, life and all the associated vagaries of the world. Having said that, I love writing, and the biggest barrier is time, as these things take so chuffing long to churn out. So, this season, some weeks I will write a magnum opus, and some weeks, I'll go abbreviated, but I will get the things published in a timely fashion.

We've had two games so far and one called off, so this is a precis of how they went based on my hazy jane of a memory and some creative licence.

I'm also going to choose a man of the match based on pub chat.


Village People

Jags 102-7 (P Cooper 16, Brolia 15, Parrish 15, Nair 2-7), lost to Stapleford 103-5 (Minter 28*, Everson 26*, Purton 2-22 I think) by 3 wickets

MOTM - Ant

We went to a new ground in Stapleford, it had that village-y feel with a green and random kids playing football on the boundary and what not. The wicket was a bit odd, not terrible by any means, but some incredibly variable bounce which saw us lose a few wickets unfortunately. Light was a big factor as it was early May. We played a shortened format of 14-8s.

Matt and Ant opened and faced some challenging bowling on a variable wicket, so took a cautious line. They then both spanked it for a 4 and 6 before falling. Matt I think fell to a ball that randomly popped up for no reason and went to short square. Ant absolutely nailed a shot, straight at an off side fielder. I was in for a bit, scoring cheekily behind square (where else) before trying an awful mow to a straight one on middle and getting bowled.

Dan and Phillips moved around a bit, and did some things. I recall some very keen running between the wickets, and it was lovely to have Dan back. Both were bowled, I cannot recall the details to be honest. I'm getting old. My brain tells me that Phillips might have been a horrid ball that stayed at ankle height for no apparent reason. Brett was in then bowled, probably doing something technically perfect. 

Then Toby and P Cooper (now solely of this parish in cricket terms) put together a rescue job on a fast fading innings, scoring some nice shots, including a mammoth 6, preserving their wickets, and getting us where we needed to be. Cooper fell, and Savage popped in and scored a lovely edge to third man 4 and we got all the way to 102. 100 had looked out of reach mid innings, so this was something.

Brett started by bowling the first batsman for a golden duck, with his body held together with hope and dreams. Tyler partnered him with some good fast stuff. 2 and 3 batsmen were contrasting. One was very good, cultured and what not and the other survived somehow for ages, with both retiring with similar scores, but very contrasting visuals. 

Tyler went wicketless but had been respected. Savage twirled it about a bit next and bowled number 4. Purton came on and was, a bit more than rusty. He got a couple of wickets, including a golden though, so maybe rust is the way to go. I should add that Toby was so notable he is in the scorebook in two separate places as a bowler, once as "Purton" and once as "Toby". If they were two separate people and the scorebook is to be believed (always a tough one), 'Purton' had an awful bowling spell, but 'Toby' bowled pretty well.


Get some WD40 for Purton

Stapleford were on the rate. Cooper managed to bowl a pretty tidy spell, but they were home and hosed. The only other thing I vaguely remember was a batsman nailing a reverse sweep straight to one of our fielders.

I cannot recall the name of the pub, but it was a fine fine village offering. Nice beer, carbohydrate laden food and old furniture that looked like it had been pinched from a church.

Jags 121-7 (Parrish 25*, Brett 19, G  Baker 18, Coslett 17, Mani 2-15) beat Sharks 91-6 (Hugh 17, Marc 16, Jim 15, Jonathan 10-3) by 30 runs.

MOTM - Brett

Playing old friends at Kings, we were a tad short on numbers so Sharks kindly gave us Jonathan to help make it a nice game. Light was a factor again, so 15-8's was the order of the day. It was one of those days as an organiser where you spend all day getting messages about the weather, there was no way it should have gone ahead, and then it did.

Parrish and Ant started proceedings. Ant, before walking out, said something about not getting out to Mani. He then got out to Mani early, with a pre-meditated mow to the legside. Matt got to 25 in some very small amount of balls, 15 or so, was dropped once and just generally beasted it all around. Purton was in then caught. I did a little before being given out LBW by Mr Bennett, to a ball that possibly, maybe, in some alternative universe with different laws of physics might have possibly grazed a tiny bit of the leg stump bail. His finger went up, as it does, before anyone had even had a chance to appeal.


The badge Tyler wears whilst umpiring

If I could hit the ball with the wooden thing that help avoid this being an issue. Baker played some very nice stuff to help move things along, joined by Coslett who, as ever hit some absolutely classy shots for our first partnership. I think Coslett fell bowled to bring back Cob, who had un-retired himself from cricket like some sort of movie cop, for one last crack at the big time.

He and George kept it all moving, before I think Baker was stumped dancing down the wicket. Brett then put on a classy display of correct shots, Cob clubbed a sweep to cow corner for 4, and was shortly after just out going for a tight second (sorry mate, but you didn't make it). Tyler hit a nice legside backward pull 4, before falling bowled. Brett and Jonathan brought it home to 121 - which felt about par on a stodgy wicket.

Pat and Hugh opened for the Sharks, Pat hitting the ball nicely, and Hugh not doing that at all. Toby and Tyler had a great opening bowling spell, Toby having managed to shake off the cobwebs and returning to economic ways of being threatening. There was a nice run out of Pat, and our substitute then bowled a load of overs and was the pick of the bowling figures. He was joined by Brett who defied his aching bones to put on a great display, bowling two with balls that must have been hard to play as they bowled the batsmen. If you can remember the details, then well done you.

Sharks were a long way behind, the light was closing in, Jim hit some shots for them, and Jonathan bowled a maiden. These are all things I can tell you from reading the scorebook. Parrish stumped someone and Hugh finally got out after eating up 30 something balls for 17 runs. We then cruised home in economic style, mainly as Sharks never managed to push the scoring rate up. Many thanks to Jonathan for joining us.

Ant was notable in the field for saying "look, I'm smiling this is fun", and also as he wore a giant coat and clothes that made him look like an extra from TopBoy. 

The Red Bull was visited and pizza and beer were consumed. The menu has changed, and Matt had a hotdog which was significantly more bread than sausage, which doesn't feel like a great decision on the part of the chef.

Leys School Cancelled

This is a giant boo and sadness, because it's a lovely fixture, but mother nature indicated that we could not play this one on the allocated day. 


Tuesday, 19 March 2024

Fixtures 2024

Fixture List 2024

Thursday 25th April        Nets                            Leys School

Thursday 8th May            Nets                            Leys School

Wednesday 1st May       Stapleford Phoenix        Stapleford

Tuesday 14th May         Sharks                             Kings

Thursday 23rd May       Leys School                    Latham Road

Thursday 6th June         Cambourne 2's                Queens

Thursday 13th June        NCI                                Queens

Thursday 20th June        Cambourne 1's               Queens

Thursday 27th June        Madingley Mulch          Queens

Thursday 4th July          Dobblers                         Queens

Thursday 11th July        Queens                           Jagex v Jaguars

Thursday 18th July        CUP                               Queens

Monday 22nd July        Champ of the Thames    Fitz

Tuesday 30th July         ARM                              Queens

Thursday 8th August     Histon                            Histon

Thursday 15th August   Sharks                           Kings

Wednesday, 16 August 2023

It Takes a Village

Jags 147/5 (Parrish 80*, Ant 20, Turner 2-3, Taylor 1-25) beat Histon 109/6 (Mailes 25, Turner 22, Brett 1-12, Bennett 1-15) by 38 Runs

MOTM - Matt Parrish (duh, look at the scorecard!)

To all regular readers of this blog, I do apologise. I've been a bit neglectful in match reports these last few games, partially as I have a new job, a child and some other things keeping me rather busy. Partially it is also an abundance of laziness. I will endeavour to improve.

We have a strong affinity with Histon, seeing as half our number play for them at the weekend and some occasionally turn up for them when they're absolutely and utterly desperate and bereft of other options (cough), so we do enjoy games against them. Nothing, to my mind says "spirit of cricket" like playing a game with and against your friends, exchanging lots of lovely banter, and then getting to the pub afterwards for beers. Together. As it should always be. 

This game was re-arranged from a few weeks earlier owing to weather and it was sure to be dark at the death. Histon have invested in many things, but all round lights are not one of the fine facilities they have, so the side that bats first had a distinct advantage. The toss was key. 

How we'd like it to look of an evening - that's Matt and Ant by the way

So Matt got mega super amazing Captain points for winning the toss, and whilst there are differing schools of thought on this (there actually aren't; you bat first in evening cricket) he decided batting first was the thing. Even then, with the clouds as they were, it was not light. It had been much nicer two weeks prior when the game had been called off because there was the prospect of some rain, maybe, in another village somewhere else. Still good to get this one on. The groundsman also put us on the 1st pitch (yay) but right on the edge of the square (booh) on a strip that was green as George Ezra's lawn, and angled at a tilt that looked like it was the first hill located in all of Cambridge (WTAF).

This is roughly what the track looked like, at least it must have been given how I batted

Matt and Ant, our star opening men strolled out facing an assortment of Histon 1st and 2nd teamers, all familiar to them, and proceeded to hit with free abandon right from the off. 21 runs were plundered in the first eight ball over, with Ant absolutely murdering a 6 on the 2nd or 3rd ball that meant the ball had to be replaced within the first over. The assembled gang of girlfriends, children, brothers and fathers, and at least one mum had to wait a good 5 minutes before play resumed. Then Ant and Matt took back to where they had started, Ant in particular was in no mood to wait around. Matt was in there too, belting a 4 through square, and forcing Ant to jog through for the odd single. He's determined to help Ant stay fit.

Ant was clearly riled up for this, as he was giving no one any respect, off side, on side, he even moved his cement block feet a couple of times to hammer the ball this way and that. I want to say Histon looked stunned, but it was already too dark and I couldn't see their faces. After some fairly lovely biffing, I recall a lofted cover drive for 4, a crunched backward square swivel and one straight back over the bowler for a one bounce 4, we were flying at 41 without loss from 3 overs. This forced Histon skipper and 1st team regular Turner to come on and bowl to arrest the rate. Ant was hitting the ball with the ferocity of Simba from the Lion King when he's all big and stuff and has just found out his uncle killed his dad. Awkward.

Live by the sword, die by the sword, as Ant fell to the first worldy of a catch that evening, spanking a certain four over extra cover that was caught, it must be said somewhat painfully, by one of the Taylor's on the team. Benjamin Sawyer then strolled out, his Mum watching expectantly. Matt gave him a long talking to before he took guard, the words were probably, "he's a good bowler, just play it safe and get in". Sawyer nodded purposefully and then took a wild swipe at the first ball and was bowled leg stump. He walked back, his Mum shook her head, and she left the ground.

This left me walking in, on a green strip, against a 1st team bowler on a hat trick with the whole field in. Brilliant. Matt basically said the same things to me that he had said to Sawyer. I was just sat there hoping he didn't bowl it near the stumps or me. He didn't, wide of off, and I even got a "good leave" from the keeper, which felt a bit odd to me, as I actually tried to hit it, but am so old and slow it looks like a leave nowadays. We then settled into a phase of the game that I'm going to call the "one man army" section, where I couldn't score for toffee, Matt was hitting the ball to all corners, and the game was really, keep Mark off strike and don't run Matt out. I took my non scoring partner role very seriously for the 20 balls it took me to get my 3 runs before being bowled finally trying to actually spank one.

Matt was absolutely belting it, despite some very good bowling, and favoured the offside, back over the bowlers head, deep square, cow corner, and probably some other places too. Fraser bowled very well at this stage, economic, and making full use of the absolutely ridiculous track that we had been given. Phillips joined Parrish, and Matt at this stage must have thought, what sins have I committed in a previous life to get absolutely no support from batsmen 3, 4, or 5, as Phillips missed a lot, much as I had, before falling to the aforesaid Christie, trapped LBW. Well done that man and good luck for your A-level results this week.

 

Matt and his army...

Cozzie, a late subsitute to the action joined, and initially was taking the same line as Sawyer, Fardell and Phillips had. Missing a lot, surviving a ridiculous ball that almost shaved leg stump, but crucially running ably with Matt, helping Matt farm strike, and not running Matt out. Matt got to his 50 here off about 30 balls, and seemed to be playing a different sport to everyone else. Cozzie, clearly encouraged then hit the shot of this, or indeed any night, moving his feet across, stretching the long levers, and absolutely nailing a driven 6 that flew over extra cover on the full, drawing universal approval from the Histon team. Matt was still motoring, looking knackered, and forcing copious changes to the field that didn't really achieve anything other than more runs. Cozzie fell eventually on 10, caught, leaving poor Mr Barker to stroll in with 3 balls to come.

He got a 2 and 2 and 1 to finish, and didn't run Matt out either. 147-5 felt both par, and actually pretty awesome given that it was essentially all down to Matt. Seeing the strength of the opposition, and knowing they are operators, we knew we'd need to be at our absolute best. And we were.

Chris Mailies (part time Jag) and Ben Keeble went out for the opposition first. It got a touch darker as Mr Bennett opened the bowling, as he does. Honest to goodness he was great at the open, looking angrier than ever, and making it hard for Chris to score. Ant misfielded slightly, but in truth, it was inconsequential even at this early stage, since the batsman rushed a single to the misfield just to get off strike. I think Bennett had them both rattled right from the off.

He was joined in partnership by Mr Brett, who whilst not angry, bowled like he was mildly irked by some small crime against cricket somewhere, conceding few off his opening over, forcing some play and missed opportunities, and generally being the wily pro that he is with ball in hand. Chris in particular was seeing a lot of the strike, but not getting any of it off the square. It was a top 2 overs to start, well supported with Phillips behind the stumps doing a great job right away, Sawyer in aggressive form in the field (now his Mum had gone, he could let it all go). 3rd over in, the first strike, low scoring rate and Keeble tried to go aerial and pitched it to Parrish at mid off to take calmly over his head. This brought the dangerman, Stuart Cronin to the crease. He is well known for hitting the ball into space on a fairly regular basis. In fact, I reckon about 2% of all space debris is cricket balls hit by Stu. I can't prove it: you can't disprove it; it's a Schrodinger's fact (sort of).

Bennett continued and was denied an LBW on Chris. The umpire gave it, but after consultation with the sporting, amiable and gentlemanly fellow that Adam Phillips is, we all agreed he'd hit it and he stayed in. Fielding at this point was top notch, Cozzie stopped a cracker in the deep, Tyler held up a certain boundary, and there were almost run outs galore a couple of times. Boud was having a fair old time of it on the boundary was well. It was like most of the team had eaten Reddie Brek washed down with Red Bull in the morning. It was an exciting time for me to be stood at square leg, doing nothing but watch it all unfold.

Scoring was slow, light was drawing in, and then the moment of this or any night happend. Stu had scored a couple of 2's and went big to Liam's bowling. He absolutely leathered the ball back at Liam, for the nano second I saw it, I expected it to kill Liam, or go straight through him and soar to the boundary. It didn't neither, he deflected it, quick thinking in his follow through with his right hand deflecting the ball, and it finally settled in his left. It had been absolutely monstered, and he had held it like a regular Sunday afternoon game of catch with the kids in the garden. Stu was incredulous, talking about quitting cricket, and most people had no idea what had actually happened, it was that fast. Players hugged, children cried, spectators whooped, and it was all a bit mad to be honest. 

Freddie Meldal joined the game, having opted to play for Histon. He's a welcome sight, and has had a lovely weekend season. Still, a game is a game, and he was greeted to the crease with the customary jokes. He managed to score a 4 edged past Phillips. He also left one that was a gnat's hair wide of off stump, eliciting a very vocal reaction.

Liam had to stop bowling at this point, as his right hand was no longer functioning, but at least it was still attached. Bennett finished his spell tying Chris to the floor for most of the last over, and he took the fact we stole one of his wickets in the interests of sportsmanship in good grace. 35 overs this season for the Jags, at a 5.92 economy rate with 13 wickets. Not too shabby.

Boud replaced Brett at the other end and having seen Tyler and Liam, thought, I fancy some of that. He got Freddie bowled first ball, deceiving him with a slightly short of a length one that didn't get up as high as he had expected. Turner (1st team man) came to the crease, and Boud bowled so so well he almost got a 1 wicket maiden, false shots, millimeters from the stumps, the whole shooting match, before they whistled a single by fluke (it came near me, sorry Jake).

The other end, it was Barker's turn to impress everyone, and this he did, also tying down Chris for a spell with his patented Cambourne balls. He's taken a leaf out of the Bennett playbook this week, using his angry face to try and intimidate people in his run up. There were almost a couple of run outs, so keen were the batsmen to get off strike. Sawyer was once more in the action in this department, always keen for a direct hit.

Call me Lassie. One. More. Time.

Bowling changes are supposed to bring respite to the batsmen, particularly in this format, but there was none of it. It was pretty dominant and Histon were a long way behind the rate.

Chris Mailes had by this point scored about 6 runs off 30 balls and survived an LBW, so he decided to try and starting swinging. He hit a hilarious 4 through cover, Ant was well stationed to stop it, but gently moonwalked backwards and ushered the ball through, worried as he was about any damage it might do to his dealing hand. Unshackled a little bit, Chris then plonked a 6 onto the top of the batting nets from Boud, and it took a random dad about 5 goes to give us our ball back. Fielding was still consistent, and anything wayward from Boud or Barker was snaffled by Phillips the Cat. Chris and Turner started unleashing a bit more, concious that the target rate was high, and a nice 4 to backward square from Turner, and a few strikes from Mailes, before the scariest moment of the night when Chris hit a straight 6 from Barker back over the bowler's head, clearing the site screen and almost murdering some grannies playing bowls.

Chris picks his target

Morgan Yaxley then came into the attack, and after a couple of wides from the current resident umpire Freddie (his Xbox chum no less) he claimed Chris, finding him trying a late cut to short third man, where Sawyer snaffled the chance. Some notable fielding from Cozzie again in the deep, going one way and the other before stretching out a paw to catch one happened around this point. Tyler also was having a stormer in the field, almost scoring a direct hit run out from long on, and throwing with absolute precision each time he was called upon.

Sabin, a regular Jag chose this moment to join the fray and Sawyer twirled the arm in partnership with Yaxley. Morgan is called "The Yack" in the book, and I think that is better than Yaxkey of earlier this season. Still, Sawyer was called "Soya Bean" in the book, and I don't think that will stick at all.

Sabin struggled to score and then also hilariously having not scored, pinched the strike from Mr Turner on the last ball of a not at all productive over facing the Yack, and laughed at the hilarity of what he'd done, before he even finished completing the run. Histon were miles behind now, and yet the chirp was brilliant, the fielding more so, and the only question was whether we could keep them below 100. Turner fell to Sawyer in amusing fashion, ball bowled, hoiked high to short midwicket, Yaxley was there but Sawyer absolutely screamed "mine" to ensure the caught and bowled fell to him. 

Fraser Christie joined us for the last phase of action, and helped Histon get the 100, and offered a really nice amount of chat at the end. All of us laughed heartily when he forced Sabin to take a risky two runs by screaming, as the ball went to Tyler, "run, he's got no arm". Oh how we laughed. Except Tyler. He definitely didn't laugh.

The final phase of action saw Sabin hit a single-ish to Sawyer, who knew Fraser would take the suicidal pointless last run, picked up the ball, waited for Fraser to pass him, then threw down the stumps with Fraser in, out, who cares - he dived and it was bloody hilarious.

It's just a shame Sawyer's Mum had left long before he did all these good things.

Hands were shaken, smiles were exchanged, and a genuinely amazing all round bowling and fielding performance with virtually no errors or looseness was the prize for the second half of the innings. The first half of the game had been all about one man; the second half was all team.

The Red Lion in Histon is a fine pub, and so we retired there, with good representation from both teams, and plenty of decent chat and nice beverages.

Wednesday, 26 July 2023

A Chuffing Draw

Cambridge Tamil Sangam 124/7 (Chanrasekar 30*, Sivakumar 26, Bennet 3-18) DREW with The Jags 124/5 (Barker 21*, Ranjit 17, Nagadev 2-15)

Man of the Match - Bennett

We have drawn before, but this is the first time I can remember in a long long time. This team is a new one on us, I understand they are a Tamil disapora, mainly from mainland India originally. Nice fellas. Queens, we bloody lost the toss again, so as sure as day follows night we were put into field. A slightly makeshift XI saw Paul Cooper make his Jags debut. 

Bennett and Savage got things underway, Bennett was on one this week, as he has been of late. He was aided by getting a wicket early with Ant catching a screamer at slip above his head. Ant and Tyler even made friends briefly as a results of this. 


How an Ant and Bennett friendship might look

Tyler was bowling that scary stuff he does sometimes, so the batsmen tried to go at Savage a bit more than him. Paul Cooper replaced Savage debuting for the Jags took a while to find his line, and then bowled a man off full toss that he somehow re-directed onto his own wickets via an edge I believe. 

This lead to the moment of the night, or indeed any night.

Tyler bowled a full length ball and the batsman nailed a wallop over mid off. Chris Mailes set off to try and field it. The batsmen didn't run, confident of the 4 that was coming, Chris stumbled, then dived and grasped the ball millimeters from the turf at full stretch. The batman was absolutely incredulous, and stood there in disbelief for a full 10 seconds before trudging off. 

The rest of the innings saw Chris demonstrate that he was also in fact human and dropping an absolute dolly a few balls later.  

This week we had regular Morgs back, no doubt encouraged by not having to bowl after Ant, and he mixed up some fantastic lines, with strong economy and a bowled full toss for good measure. Freddie absolutely nailed a direct hit run out - pausing before absolutely murdered the stumps and Savage, having taken a little bit of tap in his early overs, managed to pull it back by switching his line and nailing a death over. I was dinged at the end by the opposition, as a batsman hit it to deep square and it stopped, I picked it up and threw it in and they were adamant that I had crossed the line making it a 4, with two of their guys actually getting down on the ground to look for the spike mark. 

Gents, I did not cross the line, and this is not McEnroe at Wimbledon. Also, to anyone who knows me, can you imagine me even thinking about cheating? There is more chance of Ant becoming an MP.

Ant and I started things off, getting a few first over, before Ant tucked in to the second over like Homer Simpson at an all you can eat buffet. 3 consecutive 4's were plundered and he then turned down a single to leave me on the strike to the other bowler, who had been a bit quicker. 

"All you can eat" is a lie

I then took a gentle single on my way to my highest score of June or July, 9. Woohoo. This left Ant to get himself out, playing one on by fishing wide of off when he could have left well enough alone. 

Chris joined me in the middle for a bit and the rapid early scoring meant we were on for an easy chase. Once again, it got dark quickly. I fell LBW, sad to be out, but glad of spending more time at the crease than it took to walk to and from it. Chris and Freddie got going, Chris hitting some good stuff, and Freddie running well. There was some calamity, pushing back for a tight but gettable second, Chris was run out by a direct hit. Barker did the inevitable and moved the scoring rapidly along. Freddie fell very unfortunately, he absolutely nailed a beauty to cow, but picked probably the only fielder that could have held it.

We looked on for the chase here, comfortable really, Barker in the middle, Ranjit joining him, but it was very very dark at this point. This time of year, winning the toss is key. We then just stopped scoring. Dot dot dot dot dot, single. Dot dot dot dot dot, single, was the passage of play for two overs. We then did a little bit of scoring, a nice shot behind square from Ranjit and Barker doing Barker things, and trying to run singles and 2's when the opportunity presented itself.

We were still well on for the chase at 18 needed from 24, plenty of players to come at 4 down, and then... you know what happened. Lots and lots of dots, and the odd single, to leave us needing 13 from 15, I mean easy right. Well nope.

We got 7 from the next 9 and there was a total of 6 to win from 6 balls. Still totally got this right boys. Loads of batters in the hutch, just don't go for dots. 

Oh dear, dot. 

Oh dear, wicket. Ranjit bowled. 

6 from 4 needed.

5 from 3.

Wide! 4 from 3.

2 runs from 2 balls.

Cooper with the task in the dark. 2 needed off 2, dot... and we pinched a single for a draw mainly as Barker understood the match situation and ran like he does.

A draw and some backchat from the opposition about how my boundary field had cost them the game. It didn't gents, our judicious application of dots, lack of urgency, and the dark skies cost us the game.

Good pub attendance again. We got pizza this week but it was slow. Ah well, more beer time and plenty of opportunity to chat with Mr Paul Yaxley about how utterly wonderful it sounds to be retired.

Tuesday, 25 July 2023

Chipset Challenge

Qualcomm 164/6 (Hasan 63, Bennet 2-22) beat The Jags 127/6 (Ant 29, Barker 27, Threadgold 20, Hasan 2-22)

Man of the Match - Barker

Our skipper was away this week, and unlike the previous week's weirdness, this was a genuine old school beating. We were complicit in our defeat it must be said.

Qualcomm won the toss (boys, come on, key to each week) and we fielded. Tyler and Liam did their classic opening double act, Liam being unplayable, and Bennett getting the wickets as a result. Scoring was slow to start with, the fielding was good and we looked like we'd keep them to a sensible score. Boud came in and did ok, but got pushed about a bit.

One opener fell (the more mobile of the duo shall we say, as the other one wasn't pinching any singles) trying to up the rate, pushing to square and giving me an easy run out to Phillips behind the stumps.

 Sorry pal, boundaries or bust for me

Tyler caught and bowled one, I think it was absolutely leathered at him, but I may be wrong. Savage bowled a good one top of middle I think, and Boud caught and bowled one. They hadn't scored quickly and we were facing number 2 and number 6 and chirping about being into the tail soon. Savage was captaining and Ant absolutely insisted that he'd been in the nets and his bowling was good.

The over that followed turned this from a well drilled fielding team with good figures into an absolute bloody shower of shite. In fact, I've never seen an over so turn a game on its head. It was 8 of the worst balls ever seen on a cricket field. 8 ball over as well.

Doomsday - A surprisingly good film about a night out in Glasgow. Also a word to describe Ant's over. A perfectly apt word.

Ant's doomsday over singled handedly gave them hope. The larger opener actual started scoring and poor Morgs was left to bowl after Ant at their other man. With a spring in his step he laid into everything on this way to a rapid 63 with Morgs seeing his bowling go mostly into orbit. Bennett gets Liam as support, Morgs gets Ant. That's just not fair. The fielding fell apart and it was all just a bit shit as they coasted to 164. Bennett eventually got the other opener and Dan ran out the slowest man to ever play cricket with a purposeful direct hit run out, but thanks to Ant, the entire team suddenly got the yips.

Mark and Ant opened the batting - and as with the week before as we strolled out the clouds rolled in. Ant scored quickly, I didn't and was then bowled with my feet in cement. George and Ant put on a decent partnership but goodness me it was dark. We might have had a chance with sunlight or 130 odd to chase, but it was the worst of all possible worlds. Ant fell going big, Barker then played a lovely hand, stealing the strike repeatedly to make sure he had fun no matter what. George was bowled. Threadgold came in and with the game so so lost at this point, he and Barker set out having fun, hitting the ball to the sightscreen and beyond and just having fun. 

We fell well short, undone by some batting brilliance, but honestly it was like a voodoo hex happened midway through our fielding innings. And the voodoo was caused by Ant. It wasn't nice voodoo, more the slightly shitting variety from middling horror films.

Some people went to the pub, and again there was no pizza.